Having too many kids is a common problem in the countryside. Since there’s nothing to do for fun, sex with my wife is the only daily pleasure. The surroundings are better off with more workers and potential heirs, so I’m allowed to try as hard as I want. That’s why big families form quickly. Especially among Beastmen, twins or triplets are common, so after having several kids, a family can easily end up with ten members. Since Isaac has two beastman sisters for wives, his family is already around twenty kids and he’s struggling. But it’s not like I could tell him to stop. In reality, the cat Beastmen have been experiencing a baby boom. Including the cat colony, my children alone are over 200. It’s more than double from the original cat colony. I asked Aelina if that was really okay and she replied casually, “There’s no need to worry about not being able to raise them all since we have dragons.” As for food, the idle Blue Dragons and Silver Dragons take turns staying near the cat colony, helping with monster hunts so there’s no problem. For clothing and education, direct trade with the Elf territory makes things flexible. Once children reach an age where they can understand things, Laurel and others teach them at a private Polka Academy I set up for them.
According to Laure, the catkin rumors are true—they’re fickle and troublesome. But the teachers, elves and dragons with decades or even centuries of experience in various fields, are excellent instructors. Some kittens have shown magical aptitude rivaling that of Aileen.
Well, I suppose they’ll never catch up to her since their lifespans aren’t as long.
“Seeing all these kids who are almost all mine… it’s a strange way to put it, but it doesn’t feel real.” “There’s no kid you don’t know though, right?” “That’s true. But there are 200 of them…” “And this isn’t even all of them, is it?” “…That’s right.” Claudio and I sighed as we looked back at the lecture hall from Polka Academy. Of course, children too young to understand anything don’t come to school. And while Claudio was only ten years old, he was Hildegard’s son after all—his intelligence was exceptional. He had already self-studied the main subjects and was treated like a graduate student.
Unlike Peter who still chased breasts around, Claudio was quite impressive.
By the way, the academy is only open during winter for half a year when everyone’s free. During summer, they all go back to their hometowns. Not just cats but also kids from elf families and those born to prostitutes attend here, as well as students from Porca Town and Grangi. But usually, it’s only my kids who show up at the opening ceremony. Especially since dragons bring the cat kids over, making sure they all turn up, and because this started off as an extension of the church’s educational program, we maintain a lax attitude towards attendance at opening and closing ceremonies. But there’s no medal or anything you get for completing everything. I guess that’s how it is. There are some benefits though; while studying here, accommodation and meals are free. Since most of my kids attend anyway, external students end up getting the same deal. Half of them stay in our inn to help out, and half stay at Vape Palace. Of course, only my kids can stay at the palace. I strongly recommend boys to stay at the inn since full nudity is too much stimulation for them. Some people ask why girls are okay with it, but slave-girls say “there’s almost all girls anyway so it’s fine” and I just nod along. Naturally, undressing isn’t mandatory. But catkin kids tend not to hesitate about going naked because of their nature. I think this situation is bad for maintaining the policy of “not doing anything sexual with my daughters.” Perhaps I should talk to the baron or Christie about setting up another inn run by family members? … But expanding our inn business too much could also bring up questions about who I am.
I’m a blacksmith. I run Smithson’s Armory, and business is still slow except for the Crossbow Corps. “Hmm…” “You always have weird worries.” “Yeah… Sorry about that.” Because my work is so different from other dads’, explaining things to my kids has been tough lately. So I’ve started saying “I’m a weird dad” as an excuse. So it’s no wonder I have too many moms, or that people don’t really understand how I make money. And being a weird dad means it’s not surprising that even though I’m already forty, I still end up with fifteen-year-old slave girls as my wives… No, scratch that. That part is still tough to admit. Externally, the old slave girls aren’t slaves anymore—they’re all my wives now—but they don’t really care about that title change much. They just think of themselves as slaves who’ve earned their status by having kids and contributing in some way. And lately, I’m getting new slave girls even though I didn’t plan on it.
I do feel that it’s not right to make a girl the same age as Eleria pregnant, but unfortunately, I have this bad habit of not being able to keep up with an enthusiastic partner forever. So, I ended up getting her pregnant and they even threw me a congratulatory party. I doubt many kids would understand why I’m such a weird dad. “I wish I could be the kind of proud dad that people brag about… but there’s nothing really praiseworthy about how weird I am.” “Hmm. To me, you’re just an ordinary proud dad.” “Claude is a good kid…” I get teary-eyed. But how does a ten-year-old see any positive points in a father who spends every day naked in the hot springs with dozens of mothers, getting their white pee all over him? I can’t even think of anything to be proud of myself. “Everyone says that my sex drive is stronger than grandpa’s and it’s already legendary among Dark Elves.” “Hold on. Wait, uh… Who exactly are these ‘everyone’?” “Hilda Mom or Cosmos Mom or Mira Mom or Noire Mom…” “In the Dark Elf cultural sphere, ten-year-olds shouldn’t be talking about that sort of thing!”
Sex education is too early. Well, I think it’s more that I was way behind when I was younger. At ten years old, I couldn’t understand real sex and ended up giving Apple a natural tease play instead. But what about mothers who can confidently explain to their ten-year-old sons the meaning of phrases like “your dad is strong in bed”? And what about grandfathers teaching them all about their sexual escapades? “At least in Taluk, everyone knows ‘Andy, the husband of Onyx.’” Isn’t that the kind of thing people would gossip about behind your back? “I can understand you being proud of how it all started, but I don’t want you to be boastful about it… First and foremost, I want you to find one girl at a time.” He patted his son’s head as he lectured him. Claudio was an elf-like boy with delicate features that could easily pass for a girl. His hair was slightly longer than what would normally be considered masculine, so if he dressed up as a girl, it wouldn’t be hard to pull off. Girls are creatures who like beautiful things after all. If this handsome young man grows into a handsome young adult, he’ll probably become very popular and have an enviable adolescence compared to me, but I want him to understand that the basics start with one-on-one relationships first. I don’t want my son to suddenly try to create a harem like mine and get his heart broken.
「Hmm…」 Claudio looked a bit troubled after hearing that. So you really thought the harem was the basic setup, huh? “Actually, I prefer guys over girls…” My son made an astonishing remark. “…What?” “What? No, I mean, it’s more like—” “…Oh.” The father was shaken up. No, wait. Think about this carefully.
Hilda-san may be a good wife and mother now, but originally she was bisexual. She has plenty of experience in pleasing girls as well. Such an open-minded mother’s values would certainly not deny her son’s preferences. Claudius’ cuteness shouldn’t make it hard for him to find a boyfriend. Besides, he said “rather” than being completely uninterested in women; his interest just lies elsewhere. I myself have already enslaved several races that should never be treated casually as my concubines. How could I criticize Claudius’s broad spectrum of love? “P-Papa… Well, it’s not like I think there’s no room for that either… Yeah. Papa and I are different, but the cats go crazy with lust on full moons and do all sorts of lewd things to each other…” Right. Homosexuality isn’t abnormal at all. It’s something close by as well. It just so happened that there were more women around me, so I didn’t notice it. Okay, calm down. “…Thanks.” Claudius gave me an angelic smile in recognition of my acceptance of his minority sexual preference despite my agitation.
Damn… I can sort of understand Hildda’s feelings. If there were even a little bit in Claudia’s tastes that she liked, it would be cruel to say something harsh while looking at this smile. “Tetesma taught me all sorts of things about using my ass hole… and Hilddama said that quite a few people are okay with it in Tarku. I’m sure I’ll find a boyfriend eventually.” “…Tetes…” Complex emotions arise towards the female slaves who have unnecessarily prepared an environment for Claudia. I shouldn’t complain, but… ugh. Among the children, the one who’s been particularly active recently is Freina, daughter of Neia. Initially she learned swordsmanship from her mother Neia, but showed little talent. However, after learning dance from Noer and Lukino, she has made remarkable progress. Her physical abilities are definitely inherited from Neia, and she performs the lively Dark Elf dance steps with her small body to perfection. That’s all well and good. But while Freina looks like her mother, she is mischievous, throwing eggs at others or stealing food as pranks before quickly hiding in alleys. She has grown into a troublesome child.
I’m used to searching for Grunji and Polka, but once she’s in the capital or Tark, it’s over before I even realize it. Her hearing is so good that dragons could find her right away, but unfortunately, she learned how to change her voice with magic at age eleven after being found several times, which made me worry even more about her running around the city. She eventually got so angry that she left a legend in the capital by chasing her down using her continent-class physical abilities. But I’ll leave that aside for now. If only she didn’t have such a mischievous streak… Is it just parental bias? Recently, Emma has been on high alert every time she leaves Grunji, and I can’t help but think maybe she’s being too cautious. “She’s developed the habit of choosing dangerous places as her escape routes because of all the acrobatic dancing classes. She runs around rooftops or along waterways… It could be fatal.” “Yeah…” By “fatal,” I mean death. A person could die from falling down a few steps if they hit their head wrong, and that’s even more true for kids. “I have to do something about it soon.”
“But, you know… Would she even listen if I told her to stop? Mother Neia must have said it many times already.”
“Like, maybe actually giving her a taste of pain…”
”…If only it were that easy. She’s really ticked me off before, so unless I give her something worse this time, there won’t be any point…”
It takes a lot for Neia to get mad. Something even more severe…
“Hmm… Maybe she doesn’t find Neia scary because they’re always around each other. So what about someone else… like Rilla or someone who’s really dangerous…”
“A kid who regularly picks fights with dragons might not understand the terror of Rilla.”
“Right… The dragon would probably go easy on her in the end, huh? Then maybe Tetes, Cosmos-san, or Lady… people who are scary for different reasons…”
“But that’s still just the fear of adults…”
It’s not easy to find an effective way to scold a kid who’s used to dealing with tough opponents. I wonder what to do…
The one who solved this problem, surprisingly enough, was Elenia. “If you want me to stop the harassment against Freina, right?” “Y-Yeah…” “That kind of thing won’t work even if adults try their hardest.” Elenia said that and took on the task. A few days later, when Freina came to Polka trying to pull some stunt with the baron in broad daylight, Elenia stopped her. “How long are you going to keep doing such stupid things? You’re 11 years old already; act your age!”
「U…wh-what, you too still…?” “Even though Nole Mama taught me how to dance like a lady, are country bumpkin brats only allowed to play like boys? Hmph.” …So she’s trying to provoke me with childish pride. Now that I think about it, back then I probably lumped “adults” together as one group. When you look at someone as just an object of ridicule, whether they’re important or not doesn’t matter much. Do I have to scold her from the inside, since she’s still a kid and not part of that category? …As expected, Frena easily fell for Eleria’s provocation. Maybe because they were half-sisters close in age, they had always been aware of each other. “Polka is even more country than Granji! You act all grown up but you’re just a daddy’s girl! You’re the real kid!” …Hey, she’s talking about you, Eleria. Your recent actions make it hard to argue back.
I thought so, but Elenia’s relaxed.
“Just a kid’s head won’t get that far,”
“…Grrr, it pisses me off. Just because you’re one or two years older—”
“I want boys and girls to stop getting caught up in mixed pranks by the time they’re six or seven. Really, how long are you going to keep this up? Are your moms spoiling you?”
“My mom’s strict! She is!”
Don’t make a joke out of our mothers too much. Seren’s pretty indulgent, isn’t she? I’ve never seen her get mad at anyone.
…Thinking about it now, Neia must be struggling with her teenage daughter while Polka has the luxury of splitting responsibilities between parents. Maybe I should visit Grange more often.
Even when I drop by occasionally, normally both parents have to take on both roles.
“And besides…since you’re not getting enough attention from your dad, Freena, that’s why you can say stuff like this.”
“Nn…!”
“Mom said it, didn’t she? Dad’s special… Once you really understand what that means, you can’t stay a kid anymore…” Elenia’s expression instantly transforms from childlike to one of sultry allure. Frena is taken aback by Elenia’s sudden change in demeanor. “W-What are you talking about… I mean, Dad… He doesn’t even understand why he’s so popular…” “You’ve only ever seen him like that. You don’t really get it… You just think of him as a sleazy old pervert, right?” Elenia leans in close to Frena and whispers. “The real Dad is… the kind of man who makes Nea Mom, Aurora Sister, Diaune Mom, even all the dragons go crazy for him. The kind of guy that even the strongest women would want a kid with… You’ve never really thought about how someone like that could actually exist in your life, have you?” ”…” ”…Heh heh. I knew it, little girl.” “T-That’s… That’s just weird, isn’t it?!”
“…The opposite of weird is normal. Dad’s not at all normal, right? You know that.” “But…” No good, Ele. You’re acting just like Seren did when she was in one of those dangerous moods. You can’t even think about dragging your step-sister down that path, no matter what. So I tried to intervene out of a sense of crisis, but I got stopped by the mysterious half-elf group—Seren, Apple, and Neria—who were also hiding behind something. “Leave this to Ele-chan. Okay?” “Andy-san hasn’t touched Ele-chan yet, right? …And still, she’s so understanding.” “She really is Seren’s daughter. …Even I don’t think I could describe Andy’s charm as well as that.” “If only our child wasn’t causing such trouble… If we let Elenia-chan talk to her, she might calm down a bit.”
Everyone’s impressed by Elenia’s snake-like eloquence, but… “Isn’t this going to make both Ele and Freena feel like they’ve failed as fathers? Shouldn’t we avoid making them realize things they shouldn’t?” “Andy is a weird dad♪” “There’s nothing else to do.” “I think it’ll be fine if you use birth control magic.” “If Freena becomes more feminine…then I could make her my female slave too.” “No, Neia! You weren’t thinking that seriously were you!? That’s something no parent should ever say!! And as a wife, you’re way out of line!!” “Because the Flash Sword was supposed to be like a father figure for them, but it turned out completely useless…it just became some kind of old story playback machine.” I need to try harder. As a father. …Why doesn’t anyone stop me from messing with my daughters?