I dropped off my college friend, Inagawa Ika, at her place.
We’d missed the last train, so she ended up staying over for the night. On the apartment’s balcony. “You should be asleep by now.”
I sent Akari and the others a text on LINE saying I’d be sleeping over today. The read receipt came back in a second. Pururuuruuru~♪
That’s what I thought, but then my phone started ringing from Akari. “What’s up? Calling at this hour?”
“Nah, Okarin. What is it? ‘Sleeping over’? The hell does that mean?”
Akari’s voice carried a tone of concern for me.
She’d probably been waiting up for me to come home.
Sweet girl. And damn, I felt sorry for her.
“Sorry. I dropped off a college friend at his house and missed the last train.” “Huh… a woman?” “How’d you know?”
“I knew it would be that… Hey, Okarin… at least make an excuse. Put on a front. You’re making me feel like shit.”
Feel like shit? Why the hell would I care?
Akari let out a sigh.
Ah, I see. Being the guardian who’s got them in his care and getting mad that they’re staying out until morning, huh?
“Sorry about that. It’s just that she was pretty drunk too. I couldn’t exactly just leave her there.”
“N-no, that’s not what I’m saying… Like… [This isn’t an affair!] or [Akari is the most important thing, so don’t misunderstand me] and stuff…”
“I don’t get what you’re trying to say.”
“Ugh~ …I’m deflating~ …Like this, we’re totally just under a guardian’s watch, aren’t we…”
“What are you talking about? I’m replacing your guardians, that’s all.” There was a brief silence. Eventually, he let out a small sigh.
“Got it. I’ll tell Neesan too. That ‘Karin stayed overnight with a close female friend from college.’”
“Ah, sorry for the trouble, but yeah, go ahead and pass that along.”
“And then… haah. It’s so far away~ …Nice~ …That person is…”
“I’m sorry for calling at such a late hour. I’ll be home early tomorrow.”
“Aiyo~. Good night, Karin.” “Yeah. Good night.” I hung up the phone.
Even if it was summer break, I’d woken up high schoolers way too late at night.
I should give more advance notice next time I’m sleeping over. “Okaya-kun.”
Turning around, he found Hinogawa, who had just gotten out of the bath.
She was drying her wet black hair with a towel.
She wore simple light blue sleepwear that was somewhat see-through.
“I’m done with my bath. Are you going to take yours next?” “No, I’m good.”
He felt bad about using someone else’s bathroom like it was nothing.
Especially when it belonged to a woman of marriageable age.
”…Do you prefer taking a shower before, Okaya-kun?” “Huh? What’s wrong?”
“W-wait…! I-I mean, never mind!”
Blushing bright red all the way to the nape of her neck, possibly from the hot bath, Hinogawa let out a shout.
“I’ll take my shower when I get home tomorrow.”
“W-well… in that case… shall we go to bed?” “Yeah, let’s do that.”
”……After all, it’s finally happened. After ten long years…… this moment has come.”
Niekawa swallowed hard, her face grave as she headed toward the bedroom. As for me……
I sat down on the living room sofa and lay back. “Good night.” “Wait, Okaya-kun, wait!” “Huh? What’s wrong?”
Niekawa pressed a hand to her head as she spoke. “Aren’t you going to sleep?”
“Huh? Yeah, I am. Oh, mind the sofa.”
“No…… I mean…… what? With the atmosphere right now…… what? Wait, are you seriously just… going to sleep?” Niekawa asked, her face a mask of confusion.
“What do you mean?” “I mean, so we’re se…” “Se?”
“KUAAAAAA!!!!!”
Niekawa crouched on the spot, curling up into a ball like a child. “W-What’s wrong? Why all of a sudden?”
”……No, it’s nothing. It was just me overreacting one-sidedly…”
Niekawa covered her face with the bath towel she had been using to dry her hair as she said:
“To be twenty-eight and still making such maidenly misunderstandings… I’m a virgin, yes, but I don’t act like this usually.” “What’s wrong, Niekawa?” “I-It’s nothing!”
Heh… Inui let out a sigh and stood up.
“Rather than sleeping on the sofa, why don’t you just sleep in the bed with me?”
“You… that’s not okay. We’re both adults here.”
“Before anything else, we’re [friends], right? I can’t just let a friend sleep somewhere like this and catch a cold.”
Inui seemed genuinely concerned about my condition.
Protesting further would likely be taken as the worse kind of rudeness.
To be honest, I thought it was questionable for men and women of our age to share a bed, but just as Inui said, we were friends.
“Thanks. Then I won’t hold back… wait, what’s wrong?”
Inui crouched down where she stood, curling her body up again.
”…You accepted that too easily. You should have shaken a little, or at least tried to put on a front… This is depressing.”
Whether it was Akari or Inui, women’s minds were just baffling to me. ★
In Inui’s bedroom, I lay down in the same bed as her. It was past 2:30 AM.
Only the tick of the clock filled the bedroom. “Hey, Okaya-kun,” Nieragawa said quietly. “Are you still awake?” “Yeah.”
“Right. My heart’s racing and I can’t sleep. Could you keep me company for a bit?”
“Heart racing? Ah, from the alcohol?”
Alcohol before bed has a stimulative effect, apparently it’s not good for you.
“Guh, I just want to throw a headbutt right now.” Nieragawa turned her body toward me.
Her long hair and large breasts hung down, following the pull of gravity.
Illuminated by the moonlight, her white skin and black hair were beautifully striking; it sent a slight shiver through me.
“Hey, about that conversation earlier, but… are you no longer chasing the dreams from back then?”
In college, I had tried my hand at writing light novels.
“Weren’t you saying something like, ‘I want to create a work that can give people dreams’?”
“You… remembered that?” It was surprising.
Since it had been over seven years ago, I had assumed she’d forgotten.
“I remember, of course. It goes without saying. That it was a wonderful dream… I still think that now.”
Being complimented on a dream I had lost didn’t make me happy.
But I knew enough about her not to think she was bringing it up out of some petty spite.
“Actually, I… really do like you.”
Ninukawa blushed, looking embarrassed.
“I mean, I mean your work, obviously, so don’t get the wrong idea, okay?”
She stammered this hastily.
What was there to misunderstand? Weren’t they just talking about his work?
“Mr. Okatani’s work… It might not have that dramatic quality where people die, but the psychological portrayal of the characters is so meticulous. As you read it, you really feel how desperately everyone is trying to live within that world, even in dire straits… It’s a beautiful piece.”
”…You’re the only one who ever says that.”
Unable to bear the sight of her unwavering eyes, I turned my back on her.
…Just as the author once did.
「Looking back, my work was a total disaster. It failed to capture any contemporary trends. These days, stressful plot twists just drive readers away. In an era where people are increasingly abandoning printed words, filling pages with dense psychological descriptions only serves to stress the reader out even further」 “Okatani-kun……”
“Ms. Okata… Seven years ago, I didn’t understand a damn thing. It’s no surprise I didn’t sell a single copy.”
“But… you get it now, right? So, don’t you think about trying once more?”
Niigawa was likely trying to say: Don’t you want to give it another shot as a novelist?
On that subject, I had already reached my conclusion. “I’m not writing.”
The moment I answered so bluntly, a shadow fell across Niigawa’s face.
Why did he look so sad? “…Why?”
…I didn’t really want to answer that question.
But I couldn’t stay silent, and I wasn’t going to lie.
Because the person sitting in front of me was a dear friend I had spent my university years with.
“My dream of being a writer is over now.” “…Over?”
“Yeah. I put out three books, and the results were a complete failure. I finally understood it. These two hands of mine simply don’t possess the power to show people dreams.” “That’s not true…”
“It did exist. So why didn’t it sell? The work I poured my soul into, the work I nearly died writing, carving it out of my own flesh… I gave everything to that…”
Seeing her sad face snapped me back to reality.
I can’t do this. Whenever the topic comes up, I lose control of myself.
”…I’m sorry. That was careless of me.”
“No… I should apologize. My mistake.”
Perhaps realizing she had touched a nerve—or rather, his trauma—she said nothing more. But the air between us grew thick with awkwardness.
Yet, I didn’t want her to misunderstand. So, I spoke up.
“Nishikawa… please don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I’ve given up on everything.”
”…Huh? You’re making a comeback?”
“No. I’ve made peace with myself. I just changed how I chase my dreams.”
Nishikawa tilted her head in confusion.
“There are plenty of genuine geniuses out there who create amazing works that inspire people’s dreams. Teachers like Kamimatsu, or… Prince and stuff.” Hakuba Ouji. He was a genius too.
AMO is giving dreams and excitement to children all over the world.
There are people in this world who can do the things I wanted, but couldn’t, do.
“I entrusted my dreams to those people. Instead of writing works that give me dreams myself, I decided to support the creation of works that give others dreams.”
“So… you became an editor? You stopped becoming a writer?”
“Yeah. In terms of creating a work, what I’m doing now is no different from before, right?”
It was just the difference between writing it myself or making it together with others.
“My dream has changed shape, but it’s still properly inside me. So there’s no need to be pessimistic.”
I conveyed everything I wanted to say to Nishigawa. This is how it should be. This is… ”…” “Nishigawa?”
She embraced me from the front.
She pulled me close, pressing me against her large chest. “Hey? What’s wrong, all of a sudden?”
”…I’m sorry. Watching you like this was painful.” Painful? What does that mean?
”…I won’t deny Okaya’s resolve and determination. But… I want you to write once more. I want to read your story.”
What Inukawa is telling me is to write again, as a writer.
As a failure. As a struggling writer. ”……Impossible.” “Why?”
“Because I don’t have the shining talent of a prince.”
The most I can do is find buried, unpolished gems of talent, polish them, and bring them to the world.
My job is to create gemstones that give people dreams, not to become a shining gemstone myself.
“But… there are people waiting. For your works.”
”……No, there aren’t. Not anywhere.” That was when.
Inukawa cupped my cheeks in both her hands.
Her face flushed bright red, she closed her eyes, and pressed her lips to mine… “Hnn…”
Hot breath and her sweet, melting warmth… seeped into me.
Inukawa had kissed me.
She pulled her lips away and looked away.
Her pale skin, from head to toe, was dyed a brilliant scarlet. She must have been mortified that much. “Why…?”
I was flustered by the sudden turn of events.
Why would my friend… why me? “It’s because of you, Okaya…”
Hanieke opened her mouth but stumbled over her words, unable to finish the sentence.
Over and over, she tried to say something, yet remained speechless.
“A spell… so that you, Okaya, can regain your strength.” For a brief moment, my heart skipped a beat.
Given the atmosphere, I had half-expected a confession.
The possibility of becoming lovers with someone I had always considered just a friend.
When that thought crossed my mind, I felt a twinge of fear. I was afraid that this comfortable relationship might shatter. And yet… slightly.
It was true that I felt my heart race.
Well, it didn’t come to that—rather, it was all in my head—so I was let down. “Heh.”
Hanieke smiled and gave me a tight hug.
Those large breasts, the sweet scent, the warm body—I find peace in them.
“You’re shaken up too, Okaya-kun.”
“Obviously. What the hell do you think?”
“A hermit? Or maybe a dead tree?” “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Yunokawa releases the embrace and smiles quietly.
“From now on, if anything painful happens, tell me first. I’ll listen to anything.”
“No, I can’t just use you like a stress outlet or something.”
“It’s fine. I want to be Okaya-kun’s outlet. Don’t worry about it.” “Normally, one would worry.”
Yunokawa paused for a moment in thought before speaking.
“Then, how about we hang out somewhere once a week? Like back in the day.”
That was exactly the kind of proposal Yunokawa would make.
“I know it’s impossible to go back to being exactly like when we were in college, but I thought that remembering those fun times might help you feel a little lighter too, Okaya-kun.”
”……Why do you go to so much trouble for me?”
She narrowed her eyes, scratched her cheek with a finger, and blushed as she spoke.
”……Are you still not getting it even after I say all this?” “Huh?”
“No, it’s because you, Okatani-kun, are an important friend to me.”
Nieru pulled me into a tight hug.
It felt so pleasant that I couldn’t shake her off.
“I’ll wait for you. Forever and ever. Until the day when Okatani-kun can again take pride in his own dreams, use only his own hands, and give dreams to others.”
With a sudden release, Nieru let go of me and said with her best smile.
“Because I am Mr. 【Okatani】‘s…… no wait.”
Her beautiful eyes reflected mine as she spoke straightforwardly.
“I am Okatani-kun’s number one fan, after all.” ★
The next day, Nieru saw me off to my home. At the entrance of my house.
“Nikae, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been in a daze since this morning.”
From the moment he woke up that morning, through breakfast, and all the way to driving here, Nikae had just been moaning “uh-uh-uh” this entire time.
”…I want someone to kick me in the back for being such a coward who couldn’t confess things.” “Huh?”
“N-No, I was wrong. I have a hangover, yeah, a hangover.” “Oh? Take care of yourself.”
Nikae stood there with perfect, rigid posture.
Suit and sunglasses. He said he was heading to work.
“Okay, about yesterday… I’m serious, you know.”
It just meant we’d hang out once a week.
“Yeah, got it. I’ll be in touch.” “Uh-huh, I’ll wait.”
With that said, Nikae got into the car and sped off with light, easy motion.
Left alone, I turned around and started heading back home.
Since divorcing my wife, that painful feeling…
That’s how, by connecting with so many people, I somehow end up forgetting the pain.
…Once you change your dreams, it isn’t easy to change them back.
You can try to change them, though… That’s what I thought.