It started off wrong. Sieg Becker always thought that. For instance, if you fell into a trap on the very first step of entering a dungeon, no matter how easy the rest of the path became, you’d be left with no choice but to retreat in shame. If the very first bite of your meal was laced with a chunk of salt, however delicious the rest might turn out to be, there’s no way to fix it. That’s why starting off wrong is an incredibly serious misfortune in life. At least, that’s how Sieg sees it.
“Damn it. I wish I were like that—so happy. You’re kidding me, you bastard!”
Sieg sat cross-legged in the shallow waters of a bathing oasis while enjoying the spectacle before him.
This mixed-gender bathing oasis, known as a back-alley specialty of Tarl, wasn’t short on young couples or families with children.
You could see ogre couples taking advantage of the lack of barriers to cuddle around naked anywhere you looked, along with dark elf fathers and daughters who clearly weren’t related (you’d never mistake them for an actual father-daughter pair).
Watching young ogres and dark elves girls frolicking in the oasis made him feel wonderfully happy; but when he saw couples or families, his mood turned melancholy.
Sieg erected a mental partition in his mind and focused on girls without partners or groups of just female friends, gazing blankly around the oasis.
He’d briefly raged about Andy’s harem life, but whenever he asked himself if that could ever happen to him—or had already happened—the only image that came to mind was sad. And as time passed, he grew listless.
“If only I hadn’t started off wrong…”
In terms of whether or not a girl would be interested in him, his handsome face wouldn’t lose to any stage actor; he was tall, held a decent status, had great vibes, and strong arms—so he definitely fell into the category of being quite popular.
Since he lived in the countryside where there were few men and even fewer arranged marriages for women, if he just went ahead and pursued girls without caring what people thought, putting himself in a situation close to Andy’s harem with enough effort? It might not be entirely impossible.
From a marital system standpoint, Celesta wouldn’t have any issues either.
So… could it actually happen?
For Sieg, the answer was no.
The truth was, he’d never had sex before.
Sieg Becker was from western Celesta, near the Great Almonica River, and had been an orphan. When he was young, his home was attacked by a band of thieves, and both his parents died; he was found nearly dead from exhaustion and raised by adventurer lead Becker. This adoptive father, Lead Becker, specialized in looting ruins and was also a bicornian—a rare bird-man humanoid species capable of flight for about half an hour. His style involved charging straight into the central chambers of ruins deemed reckless by ordinary people, stealing treasures away from hordes of monsters while using his wings to escape at high speed. And Sieg… he often went along with his godfather’s adventures in secret, only to end up being chased relentlessly by monster hordes instead of the fleeing godfather. His extraordinary high-speed movement ability began developing during this time. When someone experiences near-death, they tend to awaken to new realities.
“Well met, human from yesterday’s bourgeois knife incident.”
“Huh?”
When Sieg looked up, a burly ogre stood there with his arms crossed.
He was the same man who’d worked as a bouncer at the tavern last night.
The bizarre appendage swinging loosely around him in full view was truly magnificent in an ogre-like way, and it happened to be right at eye level.
“Don’t get too close; that dick smells.”
“Stop drooling over me.”
“I’ll punch you.”
“Hah hah!”
The ogre sat down beside Sieg at a distance of about a meter.
“But that was quite the fine knife, wasn’t it? I suppose even I shouldn’t say this, but really? That might have been enough to buy a whole house if used properly.”
“It’s worthless anyway. It’s real treasure! I can’t let that girl sell it off without paying me back no matter what—I’d rather die than let that happen!”
“Wait… aren’t those two actually your women?”
“No, no—they’re not…”
“In that case, if you’d just honestly tried to run away without pulling out the knife… though I’m not saying this as any obligation on my part.”
“If so, things could’ve turned out a whole lot worse…” Though the woman who’d shared drinks with him last night was actually a dragon—that he couldn’t say. Still, there was a palpable sense of desperation in her demeanor, and the ogre puckered his lips, looking pitifully sorry for her.
“Jeez, you haven’t pawned it off yet, have ya?”
“That’s none of my business. It depends on your pawnbrother.”
“Wait, wait, wait… tell me, you know something about that kind of place by now? If anything happens, check there first—let me in on it.”
“Trident Trading Company on Lazona Street. Their eye for weapons is second to none.”
”…Trident Trading Co., hold on. Could this be the Trident Ogre?”
“You got a good head on your shoulders, don’t you? What did I think when I first met you—an adventurer? Turns out you’re a businessman?”
“One or the other doesn’t really matter.”
Sieg buried his face in his hands.
“Wait, wait, wait… Tricondre… if we hear about Tricondres down south, the odds are they might be connected…”
“What’s up, brother? Got some bad memories tied up with Tricondres?”
“A thing from a long time ago. Well, there’s nothing I can do but pray there’s no connection…”
A Tricondre Ogre, as the name suggests, is an ogre with three horns. Even among standard plains ogres—a far more common species—Tricondres are relatively rare, which makes them unusually cohesive and notoriously loyal to one another.
“Oh man… my jeweled knife… damn it…”
“Well, well, I’ll wish you good luck.”
“Yeah… You’re a decent guy, even if your cock smells terrible.”
“Shut up. It’s proof someone uses it; leave it alone.”
Encouraged by an unexpectedly fine bodyguard ogre, Sieg left the Water-Oasis Bath. Despite being just a hobby item, losing the possibility of owning something so expensive—that a man could own three brick houses for its price—was too much to handle without shock.
“Damn… but suddenly showing up today with proof that that lady has any money at all? Seems unlikely…” He wanted to rush straight to a tavern, but there was no point without funds. Even though Sieg’s job involved stealing info or targeting key figures, he couldn’t just swindle civilians. That kind of profession—walking the razor’s edge—demands strict adherence to professional ethics.
”…Damn it. I guess I’ve got to wait. At least make sure they don’t just leave without me.” He’d left the jeweled knife as collateral for his drink, so his wallet was still intact. A little spending power remained. For now, he’d pass the time killing boredom. With his alcoholism curbed after getting drunk last night, he wasn’t even in the mood to see more booze today.
“Well… women?” As Sieg checked the weight in his purse, he began walking down a back alley, looking for an inexpensive brothel. Buying women was also one of his hobbies. He’d never fall deeply in love with just one woman, but given his occasional involvement in espionage and constant movement between towns, there wasn’t much trouble to worry about.
“Man… thinking that guy Smaysion can keep six or seven concubines all at once, fucking them for free—makes me feel even more screwed than I already do…”
He didn’t look quite as heartbroken as his muttering would suggest.
“I really should ask. The secret to getting close to such great women like that…”
A somewhat sarcastic remark, but far less bitter than its content might imply.
In the blink of an eye, his hollow eyes reflected not longing for the situation—but disappointment in himself.
”…There’s no point thinking about things I’m not suited for.”
Lead Becker set off toward the western continent—where unmapped labyrinths and ruins still dot the landscape—when Sieg was twelve. But after repeated reckless pursuits by Sieg became obvious, he ended up being left in the care of one of Leader’s acquaintances. Even though he was a fearless adventurer, there were limits—even for parents.
After spending a few months in the port town of Timbales at the mouth of the Great Harmonica, Sieg moved to Quieca. He passed the Ace Knight examinations that year and earned his title as an Ace Knight at the age of twelve—then the youngest record holder.
Immediately afterward, due to his unique style renowned for its skill in fleeing, he was directly assigned to the Special Intelligence Legion.
After completing several missions, Sieg experienced his first love when he was fifteen. Though celebrated as the youngest Ace Knight, the treatment he received was less one of respect and more of adulation; he was treated like a genius prodigy, or even worse, a rare exotic beast—certainly not how an adolescent of his age should be regarded. While such flattery might have satiated his youthful vanity and provided a comfortable place to rest, it fueled his passion for duty but failed to heal his loneliness. Interactions with most Night-class holders were significantly older, making them far from enjoyable for an adolescent in his pubescent phase; yet when seeking peers of his own age, the only military cadets around were nearly all officers-in-training or ambitious prospects—nothing but little brothers and sisters—with whom he had nothing in common. Amidst praise and admiration, he remained utterly alone. It was two years older than him, a merchant’s daughter from the Afilum Empire named Elza, who healed that loneliness. True to her foreign status, she showed no trepidation around the famous “Ace Knight Genius” Sieg, yet possessed none of the ill-repute often associated with ignorance; she embodied everything he idealized in a partner. Young as he was, it didn’t take long for him to become infatuated with her.
Shaking off memories from his youth, Sieg crossed through the entrance of a hanging banner, its top layered thickly with veils like fine gauze. Inside waited a lone young Dark Elf woman, clad in raiment so scant it barely resembled clothing. “So, a Dark Elf?” “You’re looking at me with eyes like you’ve never seen such a thing before.” “Sorry. Seeing a Dark Elf in a brothel is the first time for me.” “But this here is a Dark Elf colony?” “For lowlives like me, it’s baffling why a long-lived species would lower themselves to prostitute their bodies in such a cheap den. To me, it looks like something only starving humans or beastmen would do.” The Dark Elf laughed. “Dark Elves don’t live on mist alone either. We buy bread with money; renting a house isn’t free. Sometimes we fall in love, sometimes we get deceived… and yes, sometimes the thing we sell is nothing more than our bodies.” “I see.” A common enough tale. An inevitable social structure. Where men and women exist, where gold flows and trade flourishes, and where desires to outwit others abound, such occurrences are bound to happen. There are always those women who become exactly that. It was not an age where Sieg felt pity or indignation toward it. He was no longer young enough for that sentiment. “Let’s begin. You said we’re on a time limit?” “Yes. Until the noon bell rings, you can cum as much as you like. Though for regular customers… they tend to want the full duration stretched out and thickened,” she replied. “You get it then, don’t you?” Even when told to give his all, one cannot simply rush to ejaculation at a moment’s notice. He wondered, half-amused, how Samsom was handling things. Perhaps he had too many women to keep up with and was struggling to perfect his techniques? Or perhaps his penis simply couldn’t catch up, so he’d just honed his fingerwork while his womanly skills remained stagnant? Imagining this, Sieg draped himself over her, pinching and kneading her breasts which hung nearly bare, outlined only by cloth and metal fittings. He kissed from the base of her ears downward, then parted her labia slightly with his fingers to test them out—click-clacking his digits inside. “Ahh… you shouldn’t grab me so suddenly, customer… You’re the one getting served, I’m the service side, so…” “Sometimes I just want to remind myself that my fingers remember what women feel like. Come on, there’s still time, right? Let me have a taste—just once.” “Nnnn… god… already…” The Dark Elf grew quiet. Sieg continued moving his fingers. He rolled her nipples with his tongue, peeled back the skin of her clitoris, massaged her anus, and teased her into producing fluids from between her labia. “Fuuuh…” “Nnngggaaahhh…” Sometimes their surprise erupted in a sharp gasp, followed by sloppy slurping sounds leaving them covered in saliva.
The dark elf gave herself up honestly to pleasure.
Or rather, she put on the act of giving herself up that way.
”…………”
Just because it’s an act doesn’t mean she’d get mad like a brat for being tricked by it.
That’s the spirit of women in her line of work.
Sieg cut through it all with that attitude.
And suddenly, he started to hate himself for always wearing that knowing face like some sort of professional.
(…Lying, exhausted, playing along with the deception, convincing myself it works… and pretending I’m lost in it…)
So in the end, does this woman have to make a ridiculous face just to let him cum through her, solely to push through the wall of lies she’s built up?
Or is he paying money to ejaculate just to hide his true self—one bristling with precautions, able to feel nothing for anything?
…A sudden wave of disgust rose up at himself, and Sieg whispered to the dark elf girl.
“What’s your name?”
”……?”
“Not an alias. I can’t get hard unless you use the real name of whoever you’re fucking.”
”…Right. Ariel.”
“What a good name. …Ah, Ariel…”
He gave in once to his ego.
With that sense of satisfaction, he thrust his soft member deep into the dark elf’s crotch.
Sieg having to uncover his partner’s secrets is a habit since his first love. He wants to know. He wants to know the truth. He wants to know what she tried to hide. He wants to know her as she thinks no one else ever sees. That way, he can feel safe. I know. That’s how it feels like I know.
Even this name I just learned might still be an alias.
(…No way it is that kind of guy, me!) He felt violently self-loathing. What’s love, what’s romance, what’s sex if he’s stuck with so many defenses and a turtle-with-exposed-teeth mentality like this? In the end, Sieg just can’t focus on a woman because he doesn’t want to expose his own stupidity. Getting used to acting adult, getting used to knowing only someone’s weaknesses—that’s why he can’t be honest with himself anymore. Sieg just really sucks at doing something pure: hitting someone head-on without lies or deceit, simply following his desires and passion for no other reason than that. That’s why he envies the youth, the lack of adulthood, that ability to do such things.
“Guh… uuu…”
”…Customer?”
The dark elf looked suspiciously confused, raising herself up.
Sieg’s member had gone limp and slipped out.
“I’m… so sorry… something feels wrong with my stamina.”
“Sorry too, I…”
“Ariel, it’s not your fault. I’m just a little soft today.”
The dark elf surged to her feet and frantically buried her face in Sieg’s groin.
After all, unlike vaginal sex, performing a blowjob on those precise sensitivity zones leaves no room for psychological excuses—it immediately triggers an erection and leads straight to ejaculation.
“Uuu… ghhhhk!!”
“…nnngh, ugh… nnnngh… ngh… pfuuhh.”
And then, she swallowed the semen down.
With a conflicted heart, Sieg caressed the dark elf.
”……♪”
“If you get this happy just from being touched, stop making that face.”
Once again, I began to lose faith.
Was he mocking me from behind that blissful expression?
”…Then, stop touching me.”
The dark elf gripped his hand tightly.
“It feels good when I’m praised. Even for something like sucking your little dick.”
“So that’s how it is?”
“Yes.”
The dark elf buried her face in Sieg’s groin once more.
This time, her assault was unhurried and deliberate.
As their passion climbed toward another ejaculation, the midday bell rang.
Sieg exited the brothel, bought a thin crepe pancake at a street stall, and leaped unseen onto the roof of an adjacent building to devour it in secret.
Leaping onto a three-story roof? With Sieg’s legs, that’s child’s play.
Compared to the time he chased his stepfather across a sheer cliff face in a mountainside ruin during his youth, performing such a feat is nothing special.
”…Phew. Well, I suppose I might as well try collecting my debt. If Dragongirl can’t pay me back, I’ll just borrow money from Smi—no wait, if she’s still broke then I’ll make Mr. Carlos pay me back.”
Muttering under his breath, he pushed aside the hollowness rising in his chest.
Work and inanimate objects.
These two were the only things that would never betray him.
He did his job, admired his possessions, and sometimes treated himself to a woman for an hour or two. If things went smoothly, everything flowed together seamlessly, and life could seem perfectly adequate.
And before he knew it, he’d reached thirty-nine.
That was the only kind of life left open to him now.
“At this point in my life, there’s no way I can truly get close to a beauty like you again. If there were a way for me to do so, tell me.”
This wasn’t jealousy directed at Andi’s “situation.”
It was envy for her “innocent youthfulness,” regret over how he’d been forced into adulthood early on and had willingly plunged headlong into the harsh adult world. The persona he had donned had gradually become his entire self, and there was no more foothold to tear it apart.
In all this, Diane alone remained an exception for Sieg.
Diane would never deceive him; she was a strong, earnest, and compassionate woman who could be absolutely certain that cheating him would bring her no gain or pleasure whatsoever.
She was the only one he could trust unconditionally, the only one he admired, the perfect match for his tastes—the very embodiment of a goddess.
But a bad habit of prying into secrets and shame kept getting in the way; he couldn’t capture her heart, and eventually, Andi beat him to it.
”…Well, Anzeros too… Even if we’d gotten close, things would probably have been just like before.”
When there was no basis for trust, one inevitably drew a line.
There was no need to be so wary. There was no need to put on such an act.
Deep down in his heart, he understood that—but the entrenched “adult persona” simply wouldn’t go away.
I’d always find excuses to run away from someone I was starting to get close to with work. If I became loved, they would betray me before the wounds could even begin to heal. There’s nine-tenths of comfort in the fact that Anzeros doesn’t need any distance between us; he naturally maintains just the right amount on his own. At a fraction of regret for losing Anzeros to Andy stands aside. In the end, this is this man’s life. No matter how capable, handsome, or strong he might be, he is a coward, an actor with no composure, a man with a weak heart. He can’t change anymore. Under the shield of the rigid brand name “Sieg Becker,” I push aside my exposed frailty with a joke, and there’s nothing left but to keep living like this. I had given up.
In the back alley right below my feet, I suddenly spot a familiar face. It was the dark elf I had embraced just moments ago. “Hey Ariel, we got some good catch today.” A grin spreads across my face at the words of the fishmonger ogre. He opens his wallet—Dark Elf, Ariel. “Ariel-chan, you’ve been working hard… If this place could pay as well as that one, I wouldn’t have to go there.” “N-nothing! If I made up my mind to do it, I’ll make the most money at that inn!” ”…” “Yeah, sure. But don’t push yourself too hard.” Ariel tries to show some toughness toward the clothes shop dark elf girl (or at least, someone who looks more like a girl than an adult, though she might be quite old). ”…That’s not your stage name, is it?” Sieg thought of how suspicious he had been and felt ashamed. Then, surprised by the shame itself. Of course to be suspicious. It was spy work to be suspicious. …While that shock persisted, a sudden shout echoed through the back alley. “ARIEL!! Dark Elf Ariel!!” ”!?” The air in the back alley tightened instantly. A single-horned ogre and several others barged into the back alley, sweeping aside stalls like they were clearing debris. “We don’t have enough deposits! What do you mean!” “T-that’s because… I was sick last month…” “Bullshit! Whether you get sick or not is none of our business! You’re supposed to borrow money elsewhere to cover the shortfall if it’s not here!!” “There’s no place left that will lend to us anymore!!” “Then what? Steal something or whatever! Stop pretending to be so refined now, you fucking sow who enjoyed becoming a prostitute!!” Oh yes. That makes sense. A common story. A story that exists everywhere. To love, to be deceived, for women to sell their bodies, and for debt collectors. It’s everywhere. In the north as in the south, among long-lived elves and among humans alike.
”…Hah.” Sieg Becker instantly closed his eyes, recalling the ending of his first love twenty-four years ago. The end of a first love is the killing of a woman for the very first time. Oh right, what good ending can spies have? If I hadn’t intervened, Elsa would only be slowly crushed to dust, from finger to nail, until she was thoroughly tortured under interrogation. It was my fault for being deceived. It was my fault for falling in love. But.
It’s undignified, but nothing more. Still, it takes every ounce of courage in me to fall in love anywhere, with anyone, without letting fear of being deceived stop me. That’s how I live my life, holding my head high.
What Ariel did was simply that she smiled at Sieg for trusting her enough to tell his name correctly. But Sieg didn’t even believe that small thing. It doesn’t matter anyway; what matters is that this alone should be enough for Sieg to wipe away his shame by standing up in front of a woman, making the kind of undignified pose meant to look good before a lady.
“Hold on there, you single-horned fool over there!”
“Aaaah!?”
Suddenly.
Beside Ariel, a tall, thin middle-aged man had materialized out of nowhere.
“You got something to say? You can’t just leave it at ‘nothing’”
“What the hell are you talking about… Get lost, lanky son-of-a-bitch!”
“Steele yourself in front of a soldier! What guts do you think you’ve got?”
“A soldier…!?”
“Hold on, don’t panic. This is our colony… just wrap it up and bury it, and no one’ll ever know.”
It’s an Ogre talking nonsense. Sieg grinned wickedly and knocked out one of the Ogres with a single kick to the temple in an instant. “Wh-what?! What’s going on, Tough Guy!!” Sieg had just closed the distance and delivered a solid kick to the ear before returning to his spot, yet no one down the alley had even seen it coming.
“And now, how much nerve you have to call this fine woman a sow right in front of me.”
“What are you…?”
“Sieg Becker, 39 years old. Looking for a girlfriend.”
With a wink that looked utterly out of place, he smiled at the stunned Ariel. “I’d say you’re my pick personally.”
“This jewel knife… it’s made in the Western Continent.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Of this particular type, only four exist in the Northwest Plains: one belongs to Sylphid Trading Company in Trott’s capital city, one is at the Central Museum of the Affilm Empire, and I hold the last one myself.”
“That means the remaining fourth.”
“Hmm… So that man has come to this town after all… heh heh heh heh!”
Three horns swayed as a delighted laugh rang out. “Keep it safe then… I’ve been waiting ten years for this moment!”
(TBC)