The Ogre race is characterized by one to three horns on their heads and an overall massive physique.
While not as colossal as the Giants said to dwell across the sea in the far west, Ogres possess a strength that makes them arguably the most powerful race in the Northwestern Plains, including Troth Celesta.
Their innate bulk and brawn guarantee a combat capability that renders half-baked weaponry irrelevant.
According to the official tactical metrics of the Celesta Army, if a standard male Human soldier in full military gear and a lightly armed Dwarf light infantryman are both rated at 1, an unarmed male Ogre equates to 2.5.
In other words, no matter how heavily armed a regular Human soldier may be, it is militarily forbidden to challenge an unarmed Ogre with fewer than two men.
Equip them with appropriate weapons, and their combat rating jumps instantly to 5. A single Ogre equals a mounted shock cavalry unit in charge. The Ogres’ boisterous style of fighting is the highlight of the battlefield.
Given that an Ace Knight is expected to stand alone against five regular Ogre soldiers and emerge at least evenly matched, one can imagine just how rare such an existence must be. But enough digressing.
It is universally acknowledged, including by the Ogres themselves, that their massive frames and sometimes monstrous appearance tend to look hideously ugly to the human eye.
However, this doesn’t mean Ogres find humans beautiful. By their own accounts, human women are “too thin and weak to be trustworthy,” and while they might be cute, they do not inspire erotic desire, only a kind of affection one might have for livestock.
Naturally, the Ogre race has its own aesthetic standards. They possess a certain balance in their sexual sensibilities.
Ogre females are not as muscular as the males, but they are undeniably tall. As a racial trait, their genitalia are particularly pliable, and they possess robust physiques capable of housing an Ogre phallus—which averages close to 50 centimeters in size—within the womb, even instinctively shifting the position of internal organs to make room for it.
Moreover, Ogre women are energetic overall, and some regions retain a matriarchal society with polyandry. Tall, good-tempered, strong women who can hold their own against the men are the Ogre standard of a “good woman”—the complete opposite of the idealized lady in current human society.
Consequently, even in Celesta, where inter-racial marriage is legally recognized, unions between Ogres and Humans are rare. Despite sharing the same society, they were regarded as “different biological species” entirely distinct from the relationship between Humans and Elves.
Among this social climate, there was a young Ogre who had managed to overcome numerous hurdles to find a Human lover.
Arnie Boyd. A rookie member of the Crossbow Company of the Celesta Northern Army, stationed near Basson, the trading city in northern Celesta. His rank was Private.
This is the story of that miraculous couple.
Well, I’m stretching it a bit there to call them a miracle. It’s not quite that level. But it’s still pretty amazing. ◇◇◇
In Basson, shared horse-drawn carriages circulated around the town on arbitrary routes.
They didn’t go fast and stopped frequently to drop off and pick up passengers, but the fares were cheap and they allowed for some flexibility. It was essentially a public service run as a leisurely walk for horses that had stepped down from first-class riding duty.
Sylvia McLane boarded one of these shared carriages and told the driver she would like to be taken to the Grand Arena on the other side of the town.
That day, a Magic Show was scheduled to be held at the Arena.
By “magic” in this context, I mean real magic, not sleight-of-hand. To earn research funds, researchers from the Department of Magic Research at the Capital University traveled across Celesta once a year to perform visually entertaining spells.
This traditional Magic Show was Sylvia’s favorite event of the year. ”……♪” “You’re in a good mood today, miss.”
In response to the old driver’s comment, Sylvia returned the sentiment with a beaming smile.
“Yep, looking forward to the magic show every year.”
“Oh, that’s right, it must be that time of year. I suppose I’ll take a look myself while I’m delivering you, young lady.”
“You’d lose out if you didn’t see it, old man!”
“Ha ha ha! Well, as long as no other customers are riding in the arena coach.”
Clop clop, creak creak.
The carriage proceeded leisurely toward the arena.
That day, Arnie was on errand duty.
Together with his superior, Tenth-Rank Captain Kelly Isaac, the two of them were pulling a cart to Basso.
“Why is it always us getting stuck with errand duty?”
“Geez, they could just let the humans do it.”
The complaints uttered by those on errand duty are always the same.
But there was a reason the two of them were grumbling.
Ernie (Plain Ogra, 277 cm tall) and Kelly (Cow Ogra, 310 cm tall) couldn’t fit in the carriage.
It’s not that they couldn’t ride it—tropa transport carriages are built with enough headroom for ogres to use—but they simply couldn’t sit in the driver’s seat.
So, when it was their turn, they used a hand-drawn cart instead of the carriage. Even among the ogre race, known for boasting about their strength, there was a certain reluctance in having to do with their own muscles what horses did so easily for them.
“Besides, Besson’s General Store has ceilings that are too damn low.”
“At about ten feet tall, you’re basically on all fours in there,” the other replied.
“Before you joined us, I used to pass along orders down there and get pointed at by neighborhood kids yelling, ‘The cow is shopping!’” ”……Haah.”
Cow Ogres were a minority group clustered near the Great Desert Labyrinth in central Celesta. They all had faces that looked somewhat like cows. Since it was nothing new for Kelly to be called a cow, Ernie was left puzzled as to how he should react.
Kelly didn’t seem particularly angry about the comment either; he just let out a long, heavy sigh.
“Every time I hear that, I’ve decided to respond by striking a muscle pose and yelling, ‘I’m not a cow, I’m an Ogre!’”
”……A muscle pose, huh.”
“It gets a rise out of them. You should try it next time a kid flinches in fear of you.”
Kelly Isaac. Despite everything, he had a surprisingly soft spot for children.
“But at the time I was practically on all fours, so I couldn’t even strike a pose. If they called me a cow, I had no way to deny it. It was incredibly frustrating.”
”…It’d be nice if they just made things our size.” “Agreed completely.”
Due to issues with architectural techniques (setting aside castles and military facilities), it wasn’t easy to accommodate residential housing in that manner.
The two of them rattled their cart along the main shopping street, stopping in front of their usual general store.
Bassen was currently one of the cities experiencing the most rapid development in Celesta.
Rapid development meant a lot of construction work, which meant there were plenty of Orc workers. A pair of Orcs didn’t particularly stand out from the crowd.
“Right, Boyd. Go ahead and place the order.” “Me?” “I’m not forgetting that humiliation.” ”…Ah, I see.”
Well, if Arnie hunched over a bit, he could probably manage to get in and out. He agreed and stepped into the store. That was when it happened. BOOM!! “Whaaat the—?!” “W-What is that?!”
A massive roar, thunderous enough to rival lightning, echoed across the blue sky. The ground shook.
Arnie and Kelly jumped into the air.
It wasn’t just the two of them who were startled; residents popped out from every corner of the town, looking around in confusion.
Amidst all this, a horse-drawn carriage rushed past the corner right in front of them at high speed. “Yaaaaah!!”
The old man tumbled off the coach’s driver’s seat as he turned a corner.
“What the hell! What was that?!”
“The horse got spooked and won’t listen to a goddamn thing… ow, ow, ow!!” “Old man?!”
As Kerry pulled him up (more like scooped him off the ground), the old man writhed in extreme pain. His arm looked broken. “Dammit, I need a doc…”
“Hold on! There are still passengers in that carriage! A girl!” “What was that?”
Looking up, Kerry saw the carriage careening out of control, inches from overturning.
There was no way to predict what would happen if this kept up. Kerry ground his teeth. “Fuck.”
“Captain! We’ve got to do something about that!”
Ernie tapped Kerry on the shoulder.
Kerry snapped out of it and glared at Ernie. ”…You think we can actually pull that off?”
“We’re the Celesta Army, the strongest force there is.” “Easy for you to say.”
Ernie was young, still full of dreams about military service.
That is, for instance, the seemingly obvious yet difficult reality that soldiers are always the first to rush to the aid of citizens in crisis.
Spend enough time in military service, and you become so consumed with swinging your sword that you can’t help but forget that kind of instinct.
Kelly grinned. When a bull ogre smiled, it was a sinister sight, but for Ernie, that grin felt like the most reassuring thing in the world.
“Let’s go!! Keep up, Boyd!!” “Yeah!”
The two ogres took off at a sprint. The citizens of Basson held their breath, awed by the sheer force of the two giants’ full-throttle dash.
An ogre’s massive frame served as an advantage even in motion.
A trained ogre was fast in its sprint, speed proportional to its enormous lower body. It couldn’t quite catch a bare horse, but it could manage to chase down something like a heavy wagon.
However, the dozen-plus seconds it had taken to make their decision caught up with them; they just couldn’t gain ground. After covering several hundred meters, the two were still well out of arm’s reach.
“Damn it… Boyd, at this rate, we’re gonna lose track on Main Street!” “Yeah!”
“It’s a gamble, but jump!” “…Huh?”
For a split second, Ernie couldn’t follow what Kelly was saying.
It only made sense that he wouldn’t. On such a smooth road, jumping wasn’t going to make him any faster.
That said, being a decanus of ten, Kelly was known for his flashes of tactical inspiration in the heat of battle. He may have had an ox’s face, but he wasn’t as dull-witted as the animals themselves.
“Let me throw you so you can rescue the passengers from the carriage!” ”……Wha, what?!”
It was still a damn reckless plan.
But Arnie trusted one thing: that Kelly was an excellent decanus. If he said he could do it, then he could do it.
”…Understood. I’m counting on you!”
“Alright… UUUUUUGH! HAAAAAAA!!!”
Decided in an instant, Kelly grabbed Arnie’s arm, every muscle in his body swelling. Even for someone of that massive build, the rate of expansion made him look a full size larger.
With that strength, he hurled Arnie hard forward. “W-w-whoooooah!!”
Arnie spun and sailed through the air. Seven meters above Besson’s main street, tracing a perfect parabolic arc, Arnie— “Ahhhh!”
Thump. He didn’t just land on the carriage roof; he blew it apart and plunged into the interior. “Kyaa!!”
Sylvia McRaine inside was frozen with fear. The carriage was already out of control and shaking, and then suddenly an Ogre broke through the roof and crashed down. Of course it was terrifying.
But Arnie shook his head and got up.
At the end of the main street stood a tavern. If the horse continued at its reckless speed, it was all but certain it would fail to make the turn and crash into the building. It was right in front of them now.
Ernie, whose body had been thrown outside the carriage, watched in panic. “U-Ughhh—!!”
There was no time for thought. He reached out on instinct, grabbing something soft— CRASH!
A split second later, as the horse tried to turn, the carriage couldn’t keep pace and tilted over just as expected, slamming into the wall. ◇◇◇
Ernie woke up two days later.
“…Boyd! Boyd has opened his eyes!”
Lying in a soft bed in the town clinic, Ernie shifted his body slightly. Every part of him ached and creaked, but he seemed to have all five limbs intact.
Looking at such a sight, Centurion Dianne let out a breath of relief.
Delighted that someone had been worried about him, Ernie suddenly burst into tears while muttering, “I’m sorry.”
Hearing Dianne’s voice, the first to rush into the room and leap onto Ernie was— “I’m so glad…!!”
Silvia MacLean. The girl he had saved.
Ernie’s final act had been protecting Silvia from any injury whatsoever.
Within the crash of the wall and the crushing collapse of the carriage, Arnie’s massive hands managed to shield Sylvia entirely.
The first thing Sylvia saw upon waking was Arnie, his grip still gentle as he held her safe, even though he had half-demolished the plaster wall in the process. And then…
“Um… let me look after Mr. Boyd!”
“No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for the trouble.”
“You saved my life, so please let me do this!!” ”…Alright, I suppose.”
Overwhelmed, she ended up taking care of everything from meals to potty duty for about ten days. Then, one month passed.
”…Sergeant Isaac. Could you change my cleaning duty shift to a different day tomorrow?”
“Oh? What’s up, Boyd? Going on a date with that human girl?”
“I’d prefer not to make a scene about it, but… yes, apparently so.” “What the hell?!”
Kelly stood up with a bang and shouted. The other soldiers gathered around, asking what was going on.
“What’s happening? What’s going on? Explain yourself, Isaac.”
“Uh, yeah, Smayson. It seems this idiot is going on a date with a human girl.” “No way.” “For real?” “What does that mean, Boyd!”
“N-no, I mean, honestly, I don’t have a clue either.” The next day.
Wearing a full ensemble consisting of Kelly’s secondhand sea-beast leather jacket, the small accessories like belts and arm bands made by Andy, a cleanly washed shirt from Deiane, and the cool boots Angelo had selected for him, Arnie headed out for his date with Sylvia. ”…”
I get the feeling I might be getting teased.
However, superior-quality parchment was too expensive to use as a prank, and moreover, the letter written on it oozed with sincerity.
—Dear Arnie-kun. An invitation to a date.
On Sunday noon, let’s go out together to the arena for just the two of us.
Trusting that you will come, I will wait in front of that tavern. Sylvia
The wall of the tavern was still not fixed. The painful memories resurfaced.
Arnie’s only horn had snapped cleanly in half from the shock of the collision. ”…Do I still have my horn?”
Suddenly remembering, he approached the collapsed wall. Watching the rubble and the ground closely, he found the object he was looking for lying there, half-buried in the dirt. ”…Haha, I do.” “What?”
“I-ow! Sylvia-san!?” “Good morning, Arnie-kun!”
Sylvia stood there, leaning down to peer at what was in Arnie’s hands. Arnie was so nervous and so desperately trying to hide it that he hadn’t noticed her presence at all. “Um, ah…”
“Mm. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. Besides… hey?” “Y-Yes! Understood!”
He turned his back to her and offered a hand. Ernie gently placed the base of his fingers into her palm, taking her hand with care.
”…D-dating me… do you really mean it?” “Do you think I’m lying?”
”…But I’m an Ogre…”
Ever since Sylvia realized she was one year older than Ernie, she had suddenly started acting much more like a big sister.
By the way, Ernie was eighteen. Sylvia was nineteen.
No matter how young he was for an Ogre, his face was rugged and intimidating. Sylvia, who would tease him or surround him with affection depending on the moment, looked incredibly mismatched against such a terrifying presence.
“Hehe~… You know, Ernie, I like your hand.” ”?”
”…It’s hard to explain, but when you gripped me back then, holding me in that way, my heart just skipped a beat. It felt incredibly warm.” “Haa?” “Is that not enough of a reason?” ”…Huh?” “The reason I started liking you.” “W-What!?”
Hearing “I like you” so casually threw Ernie into a panic. Sylvia smiled with evident delight at his virginal reaction, squeezing his index finger—which was nearly as thick as a child’s arm—tight in her hand.
“Once I’ve fallen for someone, it’s strange, you know? No matter what you do, I just find it cute.” “E… Cute?” “Mm~♪”
Ernie, who had never been called cute before, made a face that was hard to describe. Taking his finger, Sylvia pulled him toward the arena with a happy expression.
The stadium hosted no events that day.
On days with no scheduled events, the facility was open to the public, serving as a recreational space for citizens—people enjoying track and field or playing ball games. It’s not like there would be any spectators wanting to see such a scene, so the stands where the two of them stood were practically empty.
“That incident back then? I heard it was all the fault of the magic show.” “?”
“ That loud boom sound. The one that spooked the horse.” “Ah… I see.”
The Capital University Department of Magic Research focused strictly on studying magic; they didn’t happen to have a roster of elite practitioners.
Since accidents only involved low-level magical forces—much less destructive than alchemical research failures—a certain tolerance existed for mistakes, with an air of acceptance as if minor mishaps were acceptable disasters.
“And considering one person nearly died because of it, that’s quite a relief.”
“Yeah. Totally agree. If Arnie had died, I probably would’ve hated magic shows for the rest of my life.”
“… We don’t die that easily. It was Miss Sylvia who was nearly killed instead.”
“Yeah… But look, I’m actually a little grateful. If that hadn’t happened, I never would’ve met Arnie.” “…”
Arnie turned red in the face. He shrank his large body down and scratched his head nervously.
The reaction was so blatant and innocent that even Sylvia, who had just said it, blushed.
After a few minutes of that mutual, expectant silence, Sylvia broke the stagnant air by switching the subject.
“By the way, when I was little, I couldn’t see anything even if I went to the arena. My dad used to let me stand on his shoulders so I could watch.” “H-huh?”
“When I stood on his shoulders, everything looked different. I kept begging him to do it until I got pretty big.”
She smiled. Then, leaning her back against Arnie, she put on a pleading voice.
”…Arnie-kun, would you carry me on your shoulders?” “W-wouldn’t mind!”
“Is that a no? I figured someone as tall as you could probably handle carrying me.”
“I-I mean, well, I can easily handle one or two humanoids, but… then, my hand would end up touching your butt.”
”…Hah. Ahahaha-hahahaha!!”
Sylvia burst into loud laughter at Arnie’s incredibly ridiculous comment. Arnie looked around, bewildered, wondering if he had said something weird.
“It’s okay, it’s okay! Carrying on shoulders is perfectly acceptable! Come on, get up, hop up!”
“A-alright… here we go.”
Arnie gently lifted Sylvia onto his shoulders, trying his best to support her waist and knees.
Silvia’s vantage point rose sharply. The world shifted beneath her.
“Waaah… Wow, wow!” “Um… ah, that…”
Arnie felt like his head was being squeezed tight; his chest pressed against the back of his skull, leaving him dazed. A few seconds later, he realized Silvia’s skirt was rather short. Panicking at the prospect of accidentally exposing her underwear to the audience, he began making small, rapid movements to shift his orientation.
Those little swivels looked exactly like someone trying to soothe Silvia, and she burst into childlike shrieks of delight.
They stayed like that for a while until, suddenly, Silvia’s hand came up to pat Arnie’s head softly.
Arnie waited, wondering what was wrong, when a puzzled voice reached him from above.
”…Your horns, Arnie… the left one isn’t there. Were you born without it?”
“No. There was a bit of an incident in the past.”
It wasn’t really that long ago—only a few years—but Arnie decided to put on airs. Using the word “past” made him feel like he belonged in the company of elders, giving him a slight sense of superiority. ”…Hmm…”
Seeing as if she were waiting for the rest of the story, Arnie cleared his throat.
It wasn’t a topic he usually discussed with others, but since Silvia had said she liked him, he decided it was fine to share. He didn’t have much time anyway.
“I’m from an Ogre colony on the coast near the border with Afilium. You see, Dragon Palace is located nearby.” “Mm-hmm.”
「I once saved a dragon out there. He was really grateful and gave me one of their treasures as a reward, y’know?» 「That’s amazing!」
Dragons. The strongest and most isolated race among all species. They kept to themselves, forming a secluded sanctuary known as the Dragon Palace, where they lived without interaction with any other race.
Their treasures held astronomical value, making them the coveted object of every adventurer’s desire.
「But when I took it back to our colony… they just assumed I’d stolen a dragon’s treasure and gave me an absolute earful about it.」 「Wha…?」
「As punishment, they pulled one of my horns right out. It hurt like hell.」
Ernie had saved the dragon entirely by accident.
He had been hunting in the mountains when he found a young dragon collapsed before him, suffering from a high fever.
Dragons were a different species from wyverns. There was an intelligence gap between them comparable to that of apes and humans, yet dragons typically lived lives very much like human ones. If they had lived in their natural forms, the Dragon Palace would not have been large enough to house them all, ruining its status as a hidden sanctuary.
Despite his fear of the legendary dragons, Ernie was still just a child himself. Driven by youthful courage, he carried the young dragon on his back all the way back to the Dragon Palace.
Grateful for this kindness, the dragon clan presented him with a single treasure: a beautiful gemstone known as the Dragon’s Jewel, the finest of gems that never clouded over, scratched, or broke.
When Ernie returned home holding it, the adults were left speechless.
It was inconceivable that a dragon would give something so valuable to such a young child. They firmly concluded that he had sneaked into the Dragon Palace and brought it back as some kind of prank.
And he decided, on his own accord, to fear vengeance and subject himself to penance.
Pressing down on Ernie, who was screaming that he hadn’t told any lies, I pulled out a horn as punishment. I then ordered him to climb the mountain and apologize to the dragon. To an adult’s sensibility, it must have looked like a sacrifice, yet even young Ernie could feel it in his bones.
“The wound from having my horn pulled out hurt so bad I thought I might die, and it started raining, making for a terrible night. Stumbling back on wobbly legs, I reached Dragon Palace and apologized just as I was told… Then, one of the dragons cried and apologized to me. He said he did a terrible thing and begged me to forgive him. Those people had only given us treasure as payment. But seeing my wound and having someone cry over me like that made me incredibly happy.” ”…”
“But the Ernie who was the sacrifice isn’t coming back now. So I just let the dragon clan treat the wounds, then came out to Queica and enlisted in the army. …In my hometown, they must think I’m dead by now. Haha.” ”…”
“So honestly, I actually prefer other races over Orcs. When someone from another race is kind to me, I get really happy. It makes me feel like… maybe it’s okay for me to be alive. Ah, um… but honestly, I didn’t think someone as beautiful as you, Miss Sylvia, would say they liked me, so I just got all worked up today. Haha.” ”…I’m sorry!!” “Ha… haa?”
Ernie was shocked to be suddenly apologized to from above. He had realized midway through that the conversation was turning sentimental, but he hadn’t expected an apology out of nowhere.
However, Sylvia simply stroked the broken stump of Ernie’s right horn with her finger, then clung to his large head and began to sob loudly.
“E-uh, uhh, I’m sorry… I just… because you’re so big, I kind of just developed feelings for you out of nowhere, and I said things like ‘I like you’… Aaah, I’m sorry… your horn got broken, it got broken because of me, yet it was the only one left…”
“N-no it’s fine! The root is still there, so the right side will grow back!”
“But, but yo… Ughh!! I… I like you… but… it wasn’t until now that I realized… how heavy… how deep this feeling is… and I didn’t understand… I’m sorry, let me properly… come to like you… properly… Ernie, let me like you again, properly…”
“P-Please calm down, calm down. I, um, it’s nice that you’re ‘proper’ about things and all, but just knowing Miss Sylvia likes me makes me happy.”
“EEEEEHHH!! Ughhhhhh!!!!”
Sylvia, overcome with emotion, broke into an uncontrollable sob.
Ernie was in a bind. A very serious bind.
Sylvia continued to cry softly until the sun began to set.
“I’m so sorry… Seeing you like that just made things too confusing for me.”
“Heh… well, at least I got to see a cute side of you, Sylvia.”
Though, truth be told, he had been standing behind her the whole time and couldn’t see her face.
After blowing her nose with a huff, Sylvia’s expression turned serious as she looked up at Ernie.
“So, to make it clear again… I, Sylvia Maclean, really like you, Ernie. I’ve come to like you.” “Y-Yes!” ”…” ”…” ”…”
Momentum lost. With Sylvia looking down, still blushing, and Ernie similarly flushed and utterly lost for words, the moment stalled.
Then, in the far corner of Ernie’s wide field of vision, he spotted a familiar bovine face. ”!”
It was Kerry. And at his feet was Andy.
Andy sat down with his legs spread apart and gave a silent thumbs-down boo-boo. It was incredibly undignified.
Kelly thrust his fists up before his face, pumping them in a rhythmic motion, making the signal: Go! Get moving!
Arn, momentarily dumbfounded by what those people were doing, took a moment to think until he understood the meaning behind Kelly’s “Go!” signal.
That’s right. Arn needed to move forward. It was that kind of situation. “Um…”
Hearing Arn’s voice, Sylvia looked up sharply.
Arn bent at the waist, locking eyes with her in dead serious sincerity as he spoke.
“I… I love you too, Miss Sylvia… . That is… I want you to be my girlfriend.” ”…”
Sylvia stepped forward and closed the distance, pressing the girl’s delicate lips against the Ogre’s massive mouth in a kiss.
The setting sun sliced across the mountain ridge, casting a gentle darkness over the lovers. ◇◇◇ “Commander Smithson of the Ten”
“Hm? Well if it isn’t Sergeant Boyd, with his girlfriend on the arm.”
“N… no, actually, I have something to consult you about regarding her…”
“Tch. What, do you want some special accessory again? My taste is mediocre, so don’t think you can run that routine over me every time.”
“No, well, it’s not just the accessories or anything…”
”…Ah, is that all? Fine then, just wait a moment.”
Usually, Sylvia works the fryer at a general goods shop tucked into a corner of Besson City.
That night, Ernie showed up without an appointment, which was unusually rare for him.
“I’m sorry, we’re already out— Ah, it’s you, Ernie-kun.”
“Sylvia-san. Um… well, could you take this for me?”
Suddenly, a small accessory was thrust into Sylvia’s face.
It was a handmade necklace from Andi, featuring Ernie’s horn, polished with varnish, drilled with a hole, and threaded onto a thin chain. “Wha… does this mean—”
“Yes. I… my horn is meant to be kept by someone I love.”
“Wicked! …Damn it, you guys. Look, I’m stuck here right now, but back in my hometown, there’s this gorgeous woman! Huge tits! And her waist pinches in right here! She’s absolutely head-over-heels for me! On top of that, she’s a half-elf!”
“Oh, here we go again, the Smaison platoon leader’s internal girlfriend fantasy.”
“So it’s not that kind of time? Hey boss, can we wrap up the bill already?”
“I’m telling you, she’s not just a fantasy! It really is Void’s girlfriend and it’s amazing! Listen to me, damnit! You idiots!”
Tonight, the Crossbow Squad is a picture of peace, with various races mixing drinks and sharing toasts together.