As I've confirmed countless times, my life has essentially become a year-round preparation for festivals.

After all, I owe debts to too many places.
Even though Basson probably considers himself unrelated anymore—(I still have plenty of friends, so he does come over when invited, but he's no longer part of my community)—the communities that still need me are Polka, Grunge, the Karlwin region, Elven Lands, Lennest, the Cat Colony, Tark in the Capital, and the port city of Sithar.
Even if a festival at any single location happens only once or twice a year, with this many obligations, simple math tells me something is going on every single month.
Now, the festivals in the Capital draw such massive crowds that blending in requires serious resolve (it's one thing if I'm alone, but bringing along female slaves or children feels far too risky), and honestly, I'm there mostly to back up all the efforts of the Sylphid Trading Company rather than doing anything myself. Strictly speaking, on festival days I just hide out at the Neumann household without actually accomplishing much. If Lyra and Anzeros pitch in together, there's no reason to worry.
For the other communities' festivals, however, I must inevitably get involved as either a host or an organizer, which makes schedule management a nightmare. Of course, since my actual jobs are sex work and smithing, those administrative skills remain hopelessly mediocre, so I rely heavily on managers like Ms. Diane, Christie, and Ms. Cosmos to keep things running, somehow managing through sheer force of borrowed strength.

Lately, more and more children are stepping up to help with festival preparations.

"Shouldn't these materials be enough for Grunge's founding festival next month? In the worst-case scenario, we'd have to gather them all in an emergency via the Dragon Legion again."

"They should be, right? Look at these numbers…"

"You can't touch those figures! Half of it's already reserved for the Art Festival."

"The Art Festival… Oh, oh! The one from last year! Are they doing it again this year?"

"Thinking about it means we can't afford to have any surplus left over. If the Dragons end up collecting everything by hand, I'll be forced to go charm the Crystal again to smooth things over with Papa."

Hilda's son, Claudio, is already showing signs of being good with numbers, taking charge of checking material quantities and helping maintain ledgers after being entrusted by the Maid Corps.

Of course, even though we have the flexibility to stretch limits a bit with help from the Elven Lands, the Dragons, Onyx, or Sylphid in an absolute emergency, it's always better not to find ourselves rushing at the last minute.

"Claudio probably wants to play when there's a festival."

"I actually can't enjoy myself until I've made sure there's no room for worry. Once we realize our plans are conflicting, it becomes unavoidable."

Claudo sketches new documents with his engraving pen, recording projected inventory movements in neat strokes.

Though he's not using it for actual engraving, the moment I lent it to him earlier, it seemed so comfortable in his hands that he genuinely fell in love with it, so I officially gave it as a present just recently. While its composition of a Breakcore horn and mana-concentrated nib is the same as the one I crafted in my youth, after making several iterations, both the design and balance have improved significantly, making it much easier to write with.

That said, for mere general writing purposes, the materials are still too extravagant, so I'm thinking I should craft something more appropriately sized using wood from the Elven Lands soon. Once people know its true value, they might even try to steal it.

"Claudio's just too neurotic. He needs to live a bit more openly, or he'll be miserable."—that was what Mom Hilda said herself.

Peter, meanwhile, who has grown utterly boisterous and cheerful, is puffing out his chest with pride.

He spends his days getting up to all sorts of mischief, relying on the fact that due to being a Half-Dwarf, he still looks young enough to get away with it.

Though being reclusive and introverted isn't good either… thinking that too much negativity wouldn't be wise either, he possesses a cunning ability to avoid doing anything so vile that it would require him to ask a violent female slave for corporal punishment—a level of mischief that's almost perfect. In a sense, he is very much my son.

If I'd never left the Capital and remained raised solely in Polka, I too must have grown up into such a wily little brat.

Thinking back on my youth, both the harsh apprenticeship and life as a soldier were absolutely necessary for acquiring today's social skills.

"Peter is far too open-minded. Maybe we should send him away for some training…"

"Tra-i-nin-g?! Dad, why are you suddenly bringing this up!"

"I started out in Polka when I was ten and went to the Capital for my own training. Back then, we couldn't use Dragons like now, so the trip back and forth took three weeks each way. Even if I hated it, I couldn't just return easily, which taught me patience, cooperation, and all sorts of other things…"

"But the Capital is where Half-breeds like me get picked apart! It's not training or anything!"

"That's nonsense. Dwarves are generally respected in the smithing circles, so maybe you could be quite popular in the Capital after all."

"So, so… yeah? Hee hee."

He's cunning yet fundamentally simple-minded, and his tendency to jump at convenient opportunities is somewhat cute in a childish way.

But the Capital has its own issues. If we're talking about leaving him under Slither Workshop again… The master himself is already over eighty. Though he still takes baths at the Spirit Springs once every half-year and remains quite vigorous.

It feels like the Baron's family has moved into the next generation.
By the time I returned, the young Barons who were still just children have grown into handsome youths now, and many of the greeting duties that the Baron used to handle are frequently being taken over by his son, Daniel.
His daughters have each been wed to noble families they met through the Capital University.
When we tried to bring congratulatory gifts, it immediately sparked a back-and-forth dispute where they insisted that "such things should actually be provided by our side," until finally Irina stepped in with "Well, well, well, under the name of our White Clan," and only then did they reluctantly accept them.
Now, since Daniel has reached marriageable age, he too must start searching for a bride, but it seems this is proving quite difficult.
"If I honestly say there's a Dragon Palace less than two kilometers from our estate in marriage negotiations, it basically gets rejected every time."
"So sorry."

Vaper Palace is the genuine article—a dragon palace that even the dragons themselves endorse.

There's apparently an old noble custom against marrying into families close to a dragon palace.

Given the Dragon War a century back, it makes sense—their habitats being nearby means you could get incinerated in one of their whimsical moods. That's just general consensus.

"I can't really reassure you that dragon palaces aren't scary..."

"That would be difficult."

"...Yeah. I overstepped."

A non-scary dragon palace is as contradictory as a benevolent murderer—generally speaking.

"Because of this, I'm also considering marrying outside the circle."

"You mean... outside the family?"

"Not forbidden at all. Back in the day, it was tricky, but now Polka is an autonomous zone. Bigamy's acceptable and all that."

"Ah, right... so I don't need to strictly pick a high-ranking lady since she won't be left alone?"

"Plus, the internal caste hierarchy here holds little actual authority."

As Daniel pointed out, Polka hasn't yet shed its status as a vassal state.

On top of that, as an autonomous zone with extraterritorial rights hosting many foreigners, Polkan nobles don't necessarily wield strong social standing.

So if this successor to the region's leadership chooses to exercise the freedoms granted to them, I doubt it could be considered wrongdoing.

"That brings me to my actual question."

"Yeah?"

I had been puzzled about why Daniel summoned me and started with small talk like, "You're old enough for a wife now; don't wait or you'll end up like Lanz," but it seems we jumped straight into the main point.

"Do you know any suitable half-elf women?"

"Already specified 'half-elf'? What gave you that idea?"

"Purebloods leave me somewhat uneasy about keeping my bloodline intact, so... having human heritage would be better..."

...Technically sound reasoning, yet feels like ancient history.

Half-elves had long been cast aside as objects for fleeting pleasures, rarely accepted by anyone, and now nobles are seeking them? Come on...

"But don't pureblood elves often treat half-elves like 'bastards' within their own families? Wouldn't washing away that stigma during marriage negotiations be a pain?"

"Well, if you're motivated enough, anything goes."

Daniel smirked while running his fingers through the goatee he'd grown imitating a baron's style. Despite his youth, he carried himself with noble airs.

Fear of nobility strikes again.

"To be honest, women raised here in Polka don't hold much allure for outsiders on other lands. Elves are simply too beautiful."

"Fair enough."

I was cursed by Apple to fall head over heels for them as well.

Seeking women of that caliber in the capital or Basson proves difficult. More than that, compared to the clean, health-glowing ladies of Polka, the pampered beauties of the capital feel cloyingly perfumed and unbearable.

Plus, half-elves surprisingly often have fuller chests—the one area where elves fall short—and somehow that's a plus.

"Understood. ...Though I'm surprised you'd ask me about this."

"? You should talk to Smayson regarding elves or half-elves; even my father suggested it..."

"No, because the goal here is marriage! I don't want some untested girl dropped off on me like a hand-me-down. ...Look, I may be humble-bragging, but anyone who knows me would say I'm drawn to women, touch them, and bring them to bed."

"Well..."

"...Right, no use complaining. Yeah."

If not Daniel, then who? Who do I ask when I need a half-elf girl introduced—and preferably a virgin?

The pureblood elves who've long shunned them are out of the question, and the half-elves themselves lack strong lateral networks among each other.

Moreover, if someone capable of influencing their lives strongly were to make an approach, the pool would narrow drastically. Without holding considerable power, one simply cannot arrange life-changing matches like arranged marriages on their own.

"Just give it my best shot. We probably won't find anything right away, but I've been helped a lot by the baron's household myself."

"Thank you very much."

Daniel offered me his polite thanks, and it gave me a strangely uncomfortable feeling.

After all, I'm just one of the common folk who happens to be on familiar terms with the Baron—I should really be bowing my head lower than this. Come to think of it now.

In any case:

"I want to look for the next Baroness in Granje and the hidden village."

"Are there virgins in Granje?"

Selen hit me deadpan, calling me out flatly.

...I glanced awkwardly over at Neia.

Neia, like Selen, was laughing helpfully while breastfeeding our newborn second daughter.

"Most daughters who are of age for sex have either already made lovers in Granje or were taken care of by your own hands, yes?"

"…………No, no... I never meant to plan on everyone screwing every cock; sure, some actually ended up like that."

"If there were more than fifteen, I'd say you could normally call it that. In fact, if they were being held by Smaysom, you couldn't avoid getting thrown away anyway, so those with no particularly strong will probably just fell into it. Plus, half-elves have a tendency to get hooked deeper the more their feelings are stirred."

"...I didn't realize there'd been over fifteen of them..."

"Those are the numbers I'm keeping track of; there could be more besides. I haven't counted those two or three gray-area cases where you couldn't quite say black or white either."

"Andy always turns everything into a harem, wherever he goes."

"Eh? Eh?"

Did I really lay my hands on that many? Well, there are surely several who keep coming to bed with me every time we stay the night... uh, two threesomes, one group of four, plus a few singles... Hmm? Seems like quite a number after all.

"...Damn it. I got carried away screwing too much."

"It's not like that's a bad thing, is it? Not releasing is painful too, you know."

"No! I'm not some pathetic monster who would break down without having sex!"

"On the contrary, I want you to be that kind of monster when it comes to sex. In fact, I'd prefer you spend your boredom setting 'Who am I screwing today?' as your top priority."

"That feels wrong on a human level."

"There are plenty of women who can take a hit, so there's no time for other stuff anyway! Instead of acting weird and doing questionable rough business like that, I want you just to bury yourself among the girls and cum normally! After all, isn't living itself a miracle when you think back on everything that's happened!"

"You've been projecting those reckless memories from over ten years ago onto me this whole time?! There's no way some guy in his forties can pull off the same nonsense anymore!"

"But look at Lord Bonaparte and that bald man of Renfangas—they're just enjoying an easy, highly effective comeback even after becoming gramps. People who do it keep doing it no matter how old they get."

"Don't think of me as someone who recklessly acts young for his age!"

"There's absolutely nothing to back that up; I think if you turn your back for a moment, he'll just do it. So please use your free time to have sex! By the way, while you're at it, let everyone else handle most of the rough business."

"Recently I kept thinking nothing weird was happening no matter where we went... until now that I realize you're giving orders like that...?"

"Well, surely you were counting on something happening!"

At least as a mindset. After all, if we truly are mobilizing a major force of combatants, things won't be resolved just with "oh-oh-oh" when something actually happens.

"Andy, please keep screwing whenever you're free and try to make babies—that's what will make everyone happiest."

"It's a line every man would love to hear once in his life, but actually getting told it feels complicated..."

"I've got a lot of goosebumps thinking about it already! There are hundreds of daughters who want children; they really have no time to sleep!"

"Come to think of it, if there's no spiritual spring left, we're staring down starvation and early death right now."

"Don't worry—the spiritual spring is here, so we're fine♪"

Also, under this method, if a candidate bride for young Master Daniel is found, there's a very high risk of accidentally shooting off in the sexual sense.

"Papa♪ Soon it'll be my turn to want kids too... We do parent-hip stacking quite often; wouldn't you like to try comparing mother and child milk tasting sometime soon?"

"Elenia, have you been playing properly outside from time to time? Has your vocabulary not been polluted by Kay-chan lately? By 'Kay-chan,' I mean that perverted maid unit."

"Papa who wants to drag out a depraved, lustful girl like this outside... well, only Andy does that. Oh, in the sense of conditioning? Someone who's forced to wear something even more shameful than being naked outside?"

"Hey Selen, your daughter's pretty full on cerebral fluid. That's not good now, is it?"

"My own daughter~♪ By the way, I haven't been doing that recently, but she's giving me all sorts of training-style treatment and says it's okay~♪ Walking naked in full view with a neck collar alongside Ellet~..."

"I think you should make my collar first."

These depraved mother and daughter go on and on with screwed-up remarks, even inside the Naked Paradise known as Vaper Palace.

Neia was taken aback a bit, really. But if she were told to do it... she'd probably try it.

After mulling over it for a while, something suddenly hit her. She approached Floria, Naris's daughter, and asked, "Will you marry Daniel when you grow up?"
She's a half-elf with no mind twisted by Vape. She looks super cute and has a cheerful personality. She's still young, but in another ten years or so... For now, I think an engagement is fine.
Isn't that a nice idea?
So she thought—

"Eh? At my place, you marry Dad, right..."

"How can you say 'at my place' like that...?"

"Everyone the older girls said, 'We've got rules like that.'"

"Wait, but isn't that weird? Because Dad married Mom."

"If I asked Mom, she'd say something changed like, 'It's okay, no way.'"

"...I'm pretty sure there was a hell of a long time between her answering that."

Naris's troubled look seemed to warp visibly.

A few days later, when I went to see Daniel again, he'd just gotten engaged via thunder-marriage to that fox-beast girl who came soaking from hot springs with Celesta.
"Because she was so cute..."
That's really what you want to do?

As I confirmed the other day, I’m basically in a state of perpetual festival preparation year-round.
The root of the problem is simply that we have so many ties to different lands.
Basson is likely beyond our concern now (though with my large circle of friends, I do still drop by occasionally, even if it’s no longer my community). Then there are Polka, Grandje, Carlwin, the Elven Lands, Rhenest, the Cat Colony, the Royal Capital, Talku, and the port city of Cital.
Even if a single location hosts only one or two festivals a year, mathematically speaking, with this many places involved, something is happening every month.
Admittedly, the festivals in the Royal Capital are too crowded to mingle comfortably without some nerve (it’s one thing for me alone, but bringing female slaves and children risks disaster), and since it’s more about Silphid Trading backing up their various events than me actually doing anything, strictly speaking, I just crash at the Neumann house on the day and usually do nothing in particular. Besides, if Lyra and Anzeros team up, there’s nothing to worry about.
However, for festivals in the other communities, I have to get involved as a guest of honor or in operations, which makes scheduling a nightmare. Of course, my main jobs are sex and blacksmithing, so my management skills remain woefully inadequate. I only manage to pull it off by heavily relying on administrative types like Diane, Kristi, and Cosmos.

Lately, more of the children have reached an age where they can help out with festival preparations.

"The materials we plan to use for Grandje's Founding Festival next month—are we sure that'll be enough? In the worst case, we’d end up having the Dragon Legion do an emergency requisition again."

"It’ll be fine, won’t it? Look at these numbers..."

"You can't touch those. Half of it is earmarked for the Art Festival."

"The Art Festival... Oh, right! Last year's one! We're doing that again this year?"

"Considering that, we don't have any surplus to fall back on. If we have to collect via Dragon power, I'll have to go smooth things over with Kristal again."

Hilda’s son, Claudio, is already showing a strong aptitude for managing numbers, helping the maid corps with inventory checks and bookkeeping.

In an emergency, we could probably pull some strings through the Elven Lands, the Dragons, Onyx, or Silphid’s cooperation, so I haven't been too strict about administration in the past. But of course, it’s always better not to be in a position where you have to panic.

"Don't you want to play during festivals, Clau?"

"I can’t enjoy anything until I stop worrying. When I spot inconsistencies like this, it becomes unavoidable."

Claudio uses a runic pen to swiftly draft new documents, recording the expected inventory in-and-outs.

It’s not actually used for inscribing runes, but after I lent him one previously, he took to it so much that I officially gifted it to him recently. The composition—pen tip made from Breakcore horn and condensed magic—was the same as ones I made when I was younger, but having made a few over time, I’ve refined the design and balance of weight, improving the writing experience considerably.

However, the materials are still overly extravagant for just note-taking. I’m thinking of making him a more appropriate one using wood from the Elven Lands. If people realize its value, it could get stolen in a robbery.

"Clau is way too nervous about details. You gotta live a bit more loosely. Mama Hilda says the same thing."

And Peter, who has grown up quite rough and hearty, boasts smugly.

On his end of things, he causes all sorts of mischief, but thanks to being a Half-Dwarf with a still-young appearance, he gets away with it and even takes advantage of that leniency daily.

While it’s not good for him to become withdrawn and introverted, he’s also too mischievous... yet he possesses the cunning to never quite cross the line into behavior that would warrant corporal punishment from the warrior female slaves. In a way, he’s very much my son.

If I hadn’t left Polka and been raised in the Royal Capital instead, I imagine I would have grown up as an equally clever rascal myself.

Looking back on my youth, I realize that strict apprenticeships and military life were essential for developing the social skills I have now.

"Peter is actually too careless, you know. Maybe I should send him somewhere for some discipline..."

"D-Discipline?! Why are you suddenly bringing that up, Dad?!"

"I left Polka at ten to train in the Royal Capital myself. Back then we couldn't use Dragons, so it took three weeks each way by land. You couldn't just easily go home even if you hated it, so I learned patience, cooperation, and all sorts of things..."

"But half-breeds like me are pariahs in the Royal Capital! No discipline for me!"

"It's not like that. Dwarves are respected quite a bit in blacksmithing circles, so maybe you'll be popular in the capital too."

"Y-Yeah? Maybe..." He chuckles nervously.

He’s cunning but has a simple core; jumping at favorable stories makes him quite charmingly childish, I suppose.

But the Royal Capital... having to entrust him to Thread Workshop again... The master is over eighty now. Though he comes for a spirit spring bath every six months and remains vibrant...

There’s a sense that the Baron family is transitioning to the next generation.
When I returned, the junior barons were still just children, but they’ve since become proper young men, and Daniel-kun often handles the greetings the Baron used to take care of.
The daughters each married into other noble houses they met through the Royal Capital University.
When we brought congratulatory gifts, there was a back-and-forth argument because he insisted that such expenses were traditionally borne by the noble side. In the end, Irina mediated, saying "As per the name of our White Clan," and they finally accepted them.
Since Daniel-kun is of marriageable age, he needs to find a bride, but apparently it’s been difficult.
"If I honestly mention in marriage proposals that 'there's a Dragon Palace within two kilometers of the mansion,' they almost always turn it down."
"I'm so sorry."

Vapor Palace is a bona fide dragon palace, fully endorsed by the dragons themselves.

There’s also a criterion among nobles when choosing sons-in-law: “Don’t marry into a house that’s near a Dragon Palace.”

Given what happened during the Fire Dragon War a century ago, it’s natural to say so. But generally speaking, if you live near a dragon’s lair, you never know when you’re going to get roasted whole. That’s the prevailing view.

“I’d like to tell them not to worry because this isn’t a scary Dragon Palace, but I suppose I can’t exactly say that…”

“That would be a bit difficult.”

“…Yeah. That was a stretch.”

A non-scary Dragon Palace is as contradictory as a gentle serial killer. At least in the general view of things.

“So, with that in mind, we’re also considering marriage to a commoner woman.”

“Is that even allowed?”

“It’s not impossible. It was difficult back in the day, but now Polca is an autonomous district. So bigamy isn’t an issue either.”

“Oh, right… so there’s no restriction on having just one wife, meaning we don’t have to strictly select a woman of high status?”

“Plus, the internal hierarchy within Trot doesn’t hold much authority anyway.”

As Daniel-kun says, Trot has not yet shaken off its status as a vassal state.

Moreover, since it’s an autonomous district with extraterritorial status and a population that includes many foreigners, the Trot nobility isn’t necessarily powerful in terms of social standing.

Therefore, for the next leader of such a district to fully utilize the freedoms granted to them seems less like a bad deed and more like taking advantage of the situation.

“That brings us to my consultation with you.”

“Yeah?”

I’d been wondering why Daniel-kun had summoned me, so I’d started with small talk like, “Hey, you’re at an age where you should find a wife too. If you don’t hurry up, you’ll end up like Lanz,” but it seems I’ve stumbled straight into the main point.

“Do you know any half-elves who look good?”

“You specified half-elf, huh?”

“Yes… I have some lingering doubts about whether a pureblood would properly carry on my lineage, so having human blood in the mix is preferable.”

…Strictly speaking, it makes sense, but it feels like another world entirely.

For half-elves to be sought after by nobles, when they were treated as illegitimate children by their own parents and at best used as outlets for one-night lusts? It’s a long way from that……

“But half-elves are often treated like ‘illegitimate children’ even by their parents, right? At the wedding, it’ll probably be a hassle to explain things on that side?”

“We can deal with anything if we set our minds to it.”

Daniel-kun, despite his youth, stroked the tiny mustache he’d grown imitating barons and flashed a grin.

Nobles are scary.

“To be honest, growing up in Polca makes it so I rarely find humans from other lands attractive. Elves are just too beautiful.”

“I get that.”

I was cursed with a gluttony for food by Apple myself. It’s hard to find women at that level in the Capital or Basson. Besides, compared to the clean, healthy beauty of Polca’s women, the fashionable ladies in the Capital smell too much of makeup and it’s intense.

Plus, half-elves often have larger busts, for some reason, fixing one of the few lacking points of elves.

“I see. …Though it’s interesting you’d come to me with something like that.”

“? Father said if it’s about elves or half-elves, taking it up to Mr. Smithson is the safest bet…”

“No, since it’s a matter of someone I want as a wife, I don’t like the idea of being handed off a lady-in-waiting or something… …It might be inappropriate to say this about myself, but I have an image where if I get close to a woman, touch her, she ends up dragged to bed, right?”

“That’s, well…”

“…No, it’s pointless saying things like that. Yeah.”

Who else could you say, “Introduce me to a half-elf woman. Preferably a virgin,” to?

Of course, not the pureblood elves who have continued their exclusion, but the half-elves themselves don’t exactly have strong horizontal connections either.

Moreover, if we’re talking about someone who can exert strong influence over them, the options narrow down further. Unless you hold a relatively powerful position, you can’t even bring up a marriage proposal that would alter their life course.

"Anyway, I'll give it a shot. It might not be that easy to find someone, though. I've also been helped out quite a bit by the baron's house."
"Thank you."
Being thanked so politely by Daniel-kun made me feel a little odd.
I'm just a subject who happens to be on friendly terms with the baron, so I really should be more humble about it. It's a little late for that now, though.

And so.

"I'd like you to search Grandi and the Hidden Village for our next lady of the house."

"Are there actually virgins in Grandi?"

Selen deadpanned at me with zero emotion.

...I looked to Neia, feeling trapped.

Neia laughed awkwardly, nursing her newborn daughter while looking just as bewildered as Selen.

"Most of the girls old enough to get busy are already having boyfriends in Grandi, or they're under your thumb, aren't they?"

"...I, um, I don't go around with the intention of sticking my cock into everyone, and while a few have ended up that way..."

"If there are more than fifteen, people would usually say that. Besides, the reputation is already set that if you sleep with Mr. Smyson, you won't get dumped, so unless they have incredibly strong willpower, they end up doing it... Plus, half-elves tend to get increasingly hooked once their feelings start shifting."

"...Were there really more than fifteen..."

"That's just the number I'm keeping track of, so there might be others. I haven't counted the two or three who fall into a gray area."

"Mr. Andy always ends up turning any place into a harem, doesn't he?"

"U-Uuugh"

Did I really touch that many? Well, sure, there were a few girls who'd sneak in for sex every time I stayed at their place... Let's see, two groups of three, one group of four, and then some individuals... Hm? That's actually quite a lot, isn't it?

"...I screwed up. I let myself get carried away with the sex too much."

"Is that not okay? It must be painful to hold it in, right?"

"No! I'm not one of those sadistic monsters who breaks down physically if he doesn't have sex!"

"No, rather, regarding sex, I'd prefer you were that kind of monster. Besides, please make 'Who do I screw today?' your top priority when you have nothing to do."

"That feels wrong on a human level."

"You can find women to butt-in with anytime, so there's no time for anything else! I'd rather you just got buried in girls and ejaculated like usual than going around doing weird rough deeds! Considering everything that's happened so far, isn't it a miracle you're even alive!"

"Stop applying your naughty memories from ten-plus years ago to me all the time! You can't expect me to pull those stunts now that I'm in my forties!"

"Lord Bonaparte and that bald guy from Renfanga are still going strong after becoming old grandpas, aren't they? People who do it keep doing it no matter their age."

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't categorize me as one of those guys doing it despite my advanced age."

"There's no evidence for that. I think that the moment you look away, something happens. So please use your free time to have sex. During that time, the dragons will usually handle most of the rough deeds."

"I thought things were suspiciously quiet wherever we go lately... Were you giving those orders...?"

"See, aren't you definitely expecting something to happen!"

Well, in terms of mental preparation. I mean, we're moving a major force around, so if anything happens, we can't afford to be scrambling in panic.

"Mr. Andy, whenever you have free time, please just have sex. Have kids. That's what makes everyone the happiest."

"If any man could wish to hear that line once in his life... but actually hearing it is complicated..."

"I've had enough moments where my soul leaves my body! There are hundreds of girls who want children, so honestly, I don't even have time to sleep!"

"Now that we're at this point, if it weren't for the Sacred Spring, I'd be dead from a burst belly, right?"

"It's fine because there is a Sacred Spring♪"

Also, with that method, even if a candidate for Daniel-kun's wife were found, the risk of accidental ejaculation (in a sexual sense) would be very high.

"Papa♪ I'm starting to want a baby soon... We've been doing parent-child butt comparisons and stuff, but do you want to try tasting each other's breast milk?"

"Ele. Do you properly go outside and play sometimes? Has your vocabulary not been contaminated by Kei-chan lately? By that perversely deviant maid group, I mean."

"Papa Andy is about the only one who would want to take a perverted, lewd girl like me outside. Oh, do you mean 'outside' in a sadistic sense? Making someone wear clothes more embarrassing than being naked?"

"Hey, Selen, your daughter's brain is pretty flooded with cum right now. Doesn't that worry you a bit?"
"She's my daughter, after all♪ By the way, I haven't been doing it recently, but feel free to treat me to various kink things if you like♪ Walking around in our underwear on leashes side-by-side with Elenia...♪"
"I think you need to make me a leash first, though."
Despite being at the Vaper Palace, a paradise of nudity, this depraved mother-daughter pair wouldn't stop making unhinged remarks.
Neia was understandably a little put off. Well, I mean, if she were told to do it, she probably would have gone for it.

After thinking about it for a while, I suddenly decided to ask Naris's daughter, Florya, "Do you plan to marry Mr. Daniel when you grow up?"

She was a Half-Elf and not stupid, even by Vaper standards. She looked super cute and had a cheerful personality too. She was still young, but in another ten years or so... it seemed like an engagement would be a good format for now.

Wasn't that a nice idea?

I thought so.

"Eh? But I'm supposed to marry Papa..."

"What do you mean 'supposed to'...?"

"Everyone my sisters have, they all said 'that's just how we do things in our family.'"

"No, wait, don't you think that's weird? Papa is married to Mama."

"When I asked Mama, she gave a weird answer: 'It's fine, but it isn't.'"

"...I feel like there was an extremely long pause before she said that."

I could almost see Naris's face contorting in distress.

Later on, when I went to see Daniel again, he had entered into a flash engagement with the fox beastwoman girl who had come for the hot springs at Celesta's place.
"She was cute..."
Is it really that simple for you?

I've confirmed this before, but I'm basically in a constant state of preparing for festivals.

The main reason is that I have obligations to many different places.

While Basson can probably be considered irrelevant now (though I do still visit occasionally since we're friends), there's Polka, Grangie, Karlwin, the Elven territory, Renneest, the cat colony, the capital city of Thalkeen, and the port town of Sitar.

Even if a festival at one place only happens once or twice a year, with this many places to consider, it basically means there's always something going on every month.

Of course, I don't usually participate in the festivals in the capital because they're too crowded (and it's scary bringing along my slave women and children), but rather back Silfeed Company’s various activities. So technically, I just hide out at the Noiman house on those days without doing much of anything. But with Rylee and Anzeros around, there's no need to worry.

For the other communities' festivals, however, I have to be involved as a guest or organizer, which makes scheduling difficult. Of course, my main jobs are still being erotic and blacksmithing, so those skills haven't improved much. But with help from management types like Diane, Chrisi, and Cosmos, I manage.

Recently, more of the kids can help out at festivals too.

"Next month's Grangie Founding Festival is coming up soon—don’t we need to prepare more materials? Otherwise, we might have to ask the Dragon Corps for an emergency supply again."

"We'll be fine. Look at these numbers..."

"You can't use those though. Half of them are going to be used in the Art Festival."

"An art festival... oh, right! The one from last year. They're having it again this year?"

"If we think about that, we need to have extra supplies ready. Otherwise, Dad will have to go and please the dragons with crystals again."

Claudio, Hildda's son, is already showing a knack for managing numbers and has been helping check the materials entrusted to the maids and keeping track of the accounts.

In case of emergencies, we can rely on help from the elven territories or the dragons, as well as Onixis and Silphied. So far, I haven't really taken management seriously, but obviously it's better not to be caught off guard.

"Clau will want to have fun at the festival."

"I can only enjoy myself when my worries are gone. That’s why I notice these misunderstandings," Clau said as he wrote down new inventory records with his quill pen.

He wasn’t engraving anything, but after borrowing it from me earlier, he seemed to grow fond of its feel and had officially received it as a gift. The material composition was the same as when I made one for myself in my youth—break core horns and magic condensed solids—but after making them several times, the design and balance improved significantly.

Still, even though they were just writing utensils, the materials seemed too extravagant. I thought maybe I should make him a better pen out of elven wood. After all, if he knew its value, it could easily get stolen.

"Clau’s nerves are way too fine. You gotta live more loosely or you’ll wear yourself down. Hildda Mom said that too."

And Peter, who grew up carefree and lively, is quite pleased with himself.

On my end, I’ve been getting away with all sorts of mischief because I still look young for a half-dwarf.

It’s not good to grow up withdrawn and shy, but it wouldn’t do to be too much of a troublemaker either… That said, he doesn’t go so far as to warrant being beaten by the female slave in charge of punishment, which is quite clever of him. In some ways, he’s really my son.

I wonder if I would have grown up just like this mischievous brat had I stayed in Polka and never left for the capital city.

The harsh apprenticeship and military service were necessary to develop the social skills I have today, I think back on my youth.

“Peter is too laid-back. Maybe I should send him off somewhere to train…”

“Sh-Sharing!? What are you suddenly talking about, Dad?!”

“When I was ten years old, I left Polka and went to the capital city for training. Back then, there were no dragons so it took three weeks each way. Even if I didn’t like it, I couldn’t just run away easily, so I learned a lot of things like patience and cooperation…”

“Still, in the capital city they’ll treat me like dirt because I’m a half-dwarf! There’s no way I can train there!”

“That won’t be the case. Dwarves are quite respected in blacksmithing circles, so you might even get popular in the capital.”

“S-so? Hehe.” Her mischievousness is kind of cute, but she’s still a kid at heart and easily swayed by convenient stories.

But the capital… I don’t know if it’d be good to leave her with Three D Workshop again. The master is over eighty years old. She comes for spirit spring baths every six months or so, but…

The baron’s family seems to have moved on to the next generation.
When I came back, the young barons were still kids, but now they’re grown men. They’ve taken over a lot of the greetings that the baron used to do, and his daughters are married off to other nobles through the university.

I took gifts for them, but they said “No, it’s actually the noble side who should be giving these.” We ended up arguing until Iryna stepped in and said, “Well then, let us take this as a gift from the White Clan,” before we could finally give them away.

And now Daniel needs to find a wife. But apparently that’s not going well.

“If you tell them there’s a Dragon Palace two kilometers from their house, they usually say no.”

“Sorry.”

The Vapour Palace is the real deal, an officially certified Dragon Palace by the dragons themselves.

And apparently there's a rule among nobles that you shouldn't marry into families living close to a dragon palace.

Considering the Fire Dragon War from a hundred years ago, it’s understandable. But generally speaking, if your home is near where dragons live, who knows when and how you might end up getting roasted alive.

"I wonder if I could tell them not to worry since this isn’t a scary dragon palace..."

"That would be difficult."

"...Yeah, that was a bit of an exaggeration."

A non-scary Dragon Palace is about as contradictory as a kindhearted serial killer. At least in the general sense.

"Anyway, I’m considering marrying a common woman too."

"You can do that?"

"Well, it’s not impossible. Polka is now a self-governing region, so polygamy isn’t an issue."

"Yeah, I see... Since you don’t have to be alone as a wife, there’s no need to strictly choose someone of high status."

"Plus, the Trot hierarchy doesn’t really hold much authority,"

As Daniel said, the Trot still hasn’t shed its status as a vassal state. Moreover, since the autonomous region is under extraterritoriality and has many foreigners living in it, Trot nobles aren’t necessarily considered high-ranking.

Therefore, wouldn’t it be fine to take advantage of their recognized freedom as the next leader of that autonomous region?

"That’s why I’m consulting you."

"Hmm?"

I was wondering why Daniel had called me over when he started with small talk like "You’re old enough to get married now. If you don’t hurry up, you’ll end up like Lanz." But it seems like we’ve already gotten straight to the point.

"Do you know any half-elf women who would be suitable?"

"Half-elves, huh?"

"I'm a bit worried that I won't be able to preserve my bloodline if you're a pureblood, so I thought it would be better if there was some human in your background…"

…Well, it does make sense logically, but it feels like something from another era.

Half-elves were usually treated as nothing more than outlets for one-night desires that no one else wanted to deal with. To think a noble would actually want one of them now…

"But half-elves are often seen as bastards by their parents, right? I guess you'd have to do some digging into that when they get married?"

"That's not really an issue if we put our minds to it."

Daniel stroked the mustache he had grown in imitation of a baron and grinned. Nobles were scary.

"To be honest, growing up here makes me less interested in people from other lands. Elves are just too beautiful."

"I can understand that."

I was cursed with an ugly face by Apple, so I could relate to his sentiment.

It's tough to find a woman of that caliber in the capital or Basson. Besides, when you compare them to Polka women who are clean and healthy-looking, the ladies in the capital are too made-up and overwhelming.

Also, half-elves often have bigger busts than elves, which is one of the few things that falls short for elves.

"I get it... but still, why did you come to me with this?"

"? Well, my father told me I could rely on Smithson if I had any questions about elves or half-elves..."

"Yeah, because you're talking about wanting a wife. It'd be pretty bad if someone handed over an already-touched woman, right? ...I mean, people have the impression that I drag women to bed as soon as they come near me."

"Well... yeah."

"...Yeah, it's not like there's much point in saying that. Right."

So who should he ask for a half-elf girl, preferably one who was still a virgin?

Surely pure-blood elves would reject him outright, and the half-elves themselves didn't have any strong connections either.

Besides, even if someone did have influence over them, it wouldn't be easy to find someone with enough clout to arrange such an important marriage.

"I'll do my best. I might not find her right away, but the baron has helped me a lot too."

"Thank you."

Being thanked politely by Daniel made me feel a bit weird. After all, he was just a commoner who got along casually with the baron, so in reality, I should be more humble toward him. It's not like it matters now.

Anyway.

"I want to find the next Baroness at Granzi and the hidden village."

"Are there virgins at Granzi?"

Selen gave me a serious comment.
...I looked helplessly at Neia.
Neia, who was breastfeeding our newborn daughter, smiled awkwardly along with Selen.

"Daughters old enough to be intimate are usually dating grungy guys or getting attached to you, right?"

"...N-no, I didn't mean everyone was expecting me to stick my dick in them. But yeah, some of them definitely were."

"If there's more than fifteen people, it’s normal to say that. Actually, since they won’t get dumped if they’re with Smisson, most of the girls who don’t have strong wills end up like this... Also, half-elves tend to fall deeper and deeper into relationships once they start feeling something."

"...There were more than fifteen..."

"That’s how many I know about. There might be others too. I didn't count those few kids that are kind of gray areas between white and black."

"Andy-san always ends up with a harem wherever he goes, doesn’t he?"

"U-uh..."

I guess I did end up with quite a few... there were three or four girls who would sneak into my room every night... wait, that’s quite a number.

"...Shit, I’ve been doing too much of this."

"It's fine, isn't it? It must be hard to hold back anyway."

"I mean, I’m not some sad monster who’d ruin my health if I didn’t have sex!"

"No, actually, I want you to be that kind of monster when it comes to sex. In fact, I want you to prioritize ‘who am I going to have sex with today?’ as your top priority."

"That sounds like something’s wrong with me as a person."

"There are plenty of women who would appreciate the honesty. Besides, there’s no time for anything else if you’re thinking about that all day! I’d rather see you buried in girls and cumming than doing weird stuff. You know how lucky you are to be alive!"

"Stop applying my wild days from over ten years ago to me now! Even at forty, I can’t do the crazy shit back then."

"But look at Bonaparte or that bald guy from Renfangas; they’re still kicking ass even in their old age. People who want to do it will always find a way."

"I don’t want you thinking of me as some immature person who’s still doing that stuff."

"There’s no proof, but I think you’ll do it if I’m not looking. So please spend your free time having sex. Meanwhile, the dragons can handle most of the crazy shit."

"I was starting to wonder why nothing interesting has been happening lately… and now I see why!"

"Of course there’s something going on! You know it!"

No, it's just a precaution. After all, we're dealing with major forces here; you can't afford to be caught off guard when something happens.

"Mr. Andy, whenever you have free time, please spend it on sex and making babies. That’s the best way for everyone to be happy."

"As a man, I always wanted to hear those words someday, but now that I do, it's complicated..."

"I've already had my share of scares! There are hundreds of girls who want kids, so in reality, there's no time to sleep!"

"By the way, if we didn't have the Spirit Spring, I'd be dead by now."

"It’s okay because we have the Spirit Spring♪"

Also, with this method, even if Daniel-kun finds a potential wife, there's a high risk of accidental discharge (in a sexual sense).

"Papa♪ I want to have kids too... We often compare our butts as mother and child. How about trying to see who can lick each other’s breasts better?"

"Ele. Are you still playing outside sometimes? Your vocabulary hasn't been polluted by Kay-chan, has it? More like that twisted maid group."

"There aren’t many perverted sluts I’d want out there like her, Andy. Oh, did you mean in a training sense? Someone who makes me wear something more embarrassing than being naked?"

"Hey, Selen, your daughter’s brain is getting pretty full of cum. Isn’t that bad?"

"My daughter, you know? By the way, I haven't been doing it recently, but if you want to train me in a sense, feel free to do whatever you like with me too~! Like walking around naked on a leash with Elle...~"

"First off, I think making a collar for me should come first."

No matter how much of an erotic paradise the Vape Palace is, this perverted mother-daughter duo just keeps spouting crazy stuff. Even Neia’s a little taken aback by it all. Though she probably would do it if asked.

After some thought, I suddenly decided to ask Floria, Naris’ daughter, “Will you marry Daniel when we grow up?”

She’s half-elf and her head isn’t vaporized either. She looks super cute and has a bright personality too. Even though she's still young, in ten years... I think it would be fine for us to get engaged now.

Isn't that a nice idea?

But then...

"Huh? Don’t we marry Papa?"

“What do you mean by that…?”

“Everyone said ‘that’s how it is in our house.’”

“No, wait. Don’t you think this is a bit weird? Dad and Mom are married.”

“When I asked Mom, she said something strange like ‘it’s fine but not okay’.”

“I bet there was a really long pause before that answer.”

Naris must be so frustrated her face looks twisted.

Later, when I went to see Daniel again, he had engaged in an impromptu engagement with a foxkin girl who came for hot springs therapy.
“She’s cute…”
Is this okay with you?

As I confirmed once before, I find myself in a state of being perpetually prepared for a festival.
To begin with, I have obligations to many different lands.
While it's fair to say I'm no longer part of the Basson community—though I still drop by since I have many friends there—I am still tied to Polka, Grunge, Karlwin, the Elven Territory, Rennest, the Cat Colony, Tarc in the Royal Capital, and the port town of Sitar.
Even if festivals in a single location happen only once or twice a year, with this many places, a simple calculation means there is something happening every single month.
Well, the festivals in the Royal Capital draw such massive crowds that getting involved requires some serious resolve (it might be fine alone, but I'm terrified of something happening to the female slaves or the children if I bring them along). Besides, rather than doing something myself, I mostly just provide backup for whatever the Sylpheed Company is running; strictly speaking, I'm usually just hunkered down at the Neumann estate on the actual day, doing nothing in particular. And as long as Lyra and Anzeros are working together, there's nothing to worry about.
For the festivals in other communities, however, I have to involve myself in some capacity, either as a guest of honor or as part of the management, which makes schedule management a nightmare. Of course, since my actual professions are lewd activities and blacksmithing, my management skills are as mediocre as ever. I manage to scrape by only by leaning heavily on the "management-type" individuals like Diane-san, Christi, and Cosmos-san.

Recently, more and more of the children have become capable of helping with the festivals.

"The materials for Grunge's founding festival the month after next... won't this be insufficient? At worst, we'll have to have the Dragon Corps scramble to collect them again."

"It should be enough, right? Because, look, with these numbers..."

"You can't start with that. Half of it is going to be used for the Arts Festival."

"The Arts Festival... Oh, right! Last year's! We're doing that again this year?"

"If we consider that, we need to prepare a surplus. If we have to use the dragons to collect them, Papa will have to go and butter up the crystals again."

Claudio, Hilda-san's son, is already showing his strength in numerical management, helping with the material checks and bookkeeping entrusted to the Maid Corps.

In a pinch, we can push things a little through the cooperation of the Elven Territory, the dragons, or Onyx and Sylpheed, so until now, I hadn't been managing things very seriously. However, it goes without saying that it's best to avoid any emergencies.

"Clau probably wants to play during the festivals, too."

"I can't enjoy myself unless I've cleared away all the worries first. Once I notice a discrepancy like this, I can't help it."

Clau uses the Rune-engraved Pen to smoothly write new documents, recording the projected incoming and outgoing inventory.

It isn't actually an engraved rune, but since he's used it after I lent it to him once, it seems to have become familiar to his hand, so I officially gave it to him as a present the other day. The material composition—a horn from a Breakcore and a tip made of solidified magic—is the same as the ones I made in my youth, but through making them several times, the design and center of gravity have become more refined, and the writing experience has improved significantly.

That said, the materials are far too extravagant for simple note-taking, so I'm thinking of making him a more appropriate one using timber from the Elven Territory. If he ever finds out the true value, it wouldn't be surprising if he were robbed.

"Clau, you're way too high-strung. You've gotta live more loosely. Or so Mama Hilda says."

And then there's Peter, who has grown up to be quite boisterous and careless, boasting as he speaks.

On my end, I spend my days being a bit of a troublemaker, taking advantage of the fact that my half-dwarf heritage makes me look much younger, allowing me to get away with things.

Growing up withdrawn and introverted isn't good, but being too much of a brat is also... well, he possesses the cunning to never be quite bad enough that I'd ask the female slaves in charge of combat to discipline him; in a sense, he is very much my son.

I think if he had grown up entirely in Polka without ever going to the Royal Capital, I would have grown up to be just as sly a brat.

Reflecting on my own youth, I realize that the harsh apprenticeship and soldier life were very much necessary for him to acquire his current social skills.

"Peter, you're way too easygoing. Maybe I should send you off on some training..."

"Tr-training!? What are you suddenly talking about, Dad!?"

"Well, I left Polka at age ten to train in the Royal Capital. Back then, we couldn't use dragons, so it was a three-week journey both ways. Since I couldn't easily go home even if I hated it, I learned things like patience and cooperation..."

"Even so, a half-breed like me would be an outcast in the Capital, right!? Training is out of the question!"

"That's not true. Dwarves are a relatively respected race in blacksmithing circles, so you might actually be popular in the Capital."

"Y-you think so? Hehehe."

He is sly, but since he's simple at heart, he immediately falls for convenient stories—I suppose that can be called "childlike and cute."

But the Capital, though... I'm not so sure about entrusting him to the Sreed Workshop again... The Master is over eighty, after all. Though he still comes for a spiritual spring bath once every six months, so he's still quite energetic.

It feels as though the Baron's lineage has passed to the next generation.
The Baron's juniors, who were mere children when I returned, have already become fine young men, and much of the greeting work the Baron used to do is now handled by the young lord, Daniel-kun.
His daughter has married a nobleman from elsewhere, whom they met through the Royal Capital University.
When I brought a celebratory gift, we ended up in a tug-of-war where he insisted, "No, such things are things the noble side should provide," and in the end, Alina had to intervene, saying, "Now, now, let's just say this is in the name of the White Clan," before they finally accepted it.
And since Daniel-kun is also at the age where he should be looking for a wife, they have to find him a bride, but apparently, that is proving difficult.
"Whenever I am honest in marriage proposals and say, 'There is a Dragon Palace less than two kilometers from the manor,' it almost always falls through."
"I am so, so sorry."

Vapor Palace is a genuine dragon palace, certified by the dragons themselves.
And apparently, there is a common rule of thumb when choosing a son-in-law for nobility: "Don't marry into a family living near a dragon palace."
Given the Fire Dragon War of a hundred years ago, it is perfectly natural to assume such a rule exists; the general consensus is that when you live near a dragon's lair, there is no telling when you might suddenly end up roasted alive.

"I can't exactly tell you to rest easy because it's not a scary dragon palace..."

"That might be a bit difficult, then."

"...Yeah. Sorry, that was a big ask."

A dragon palace that isn't scary is as much of a contradiction as a benevolent serial killer. At least, that’s the general perception.

"Because of that, I am also considering marriage to a commoner woman."

"Is that even an option?"

"It's not impossible. It used to be difficult in the past, but Polka is an autonomous region now. Polygamy is perfectly fine here, too."

"Ah, right... Since there's no restriction that you can only have one wife, you don't necessarily need to go through the trouble of hand-picking a woman of high status."

"Besides, the social hierarchy within Trot itself doesn't hold much authority."

As Daniel put it, Trot has yet to escape its status as a vassal state.
Furthermore, because the autonomous region exists under extraterritoriality and is home to many people from other nations, the nobility of Trot does not necessarily hold a position of strength.
In that case, as the one who would lead this autonomous region, utilizing his granted freedoms wouldn't be considered a bad deed.

"So, that's why I've come to consult you."

"Yeah."

I had been wondering why Daniel had called me over, so I had started with some small talk, like, "You're getting to the age where you should be looking for a wife soon; if you don't hurry, you'll end up like Lanz." But apparently, he had come straight to the point.

"Do you know anyone... perhaps a half-elf woman, who would be a good match?"

"So you're specifically requesting a half-elf, huh?"

"Since I have some concerns about whether I can pass on my bloodline with a pure-blood, I thought having some human blood would be better..."

...It was logically sound, but it felt like an era had passed.
To think that a nobleman would be seeking out a half-elf—a people who, in the past, were often rejected by everyone and treated as nothing more than outlets for a single night's lust.

"But for half-elves, their parents often treat them like 'illegitimate children,' you know? Dealing with that background might be a pain when it comes to marriage negotiations."

"Those kinds of things can be handled however one wishes, if one has the will."

Daniel smirked, stroking the little mustache he had grown in an attempt to mimic a baron, despite his youth.

Nobles are scary.

"To be honest, growing up here in Polka, I often find people from other human lands to be unappealing. Elves are just so beautiful."

"Well, I get that."

I, too, have been cursed with a preference for beautiful women by Apple.

It is difficult to find women of that caliber in the Royal Capital or Basson. Above all, compared to the clean, healthy, and vibrant women of Polka, the sophisticated women of the Capital are often too heavy on the scent of perfume.

Furthermore, for some reason, half-elven women often possess large breasts—one of the few lacking points of pure-blooded elves.

"I understand. ...But why on earth did you come to me with this?"

"? My father also told me that if I wanted to talk about elves or half-elves, there would be no mistake in approaching Mr. Smytson..."

"No, I mean, this is about wanting to marry her, right? I wouldn't like the situation to feel like someone is just handing over a woman they've already laid hands on. ...Not to toot my own horn, but I do have a reputation for taking women straight to bed once I get close to them."

"Well, that is..."

"...No, there's no point in saying something so self-evident. Yeah."

In that case, who was I supposed to ask to "Introduce me to a half-elf woman. Ideally, a virgin"?
The pure-blooded elves, who had been marginalized, certainly didn't have the connections, and the half-elves themselves didn't have particularly strong social networks either.
Moreover, the pool of people who could speak with authority to them was even smaller. Unless you held a certain level of power, you couldn't even bring up marriage negotiations that could alter the course of a person's life.

"Anyway, I'll give it my best shot. Though I might not find someone right away. Besides, the Baron's family has been a huge help to me."

"Thank you very much."

Being thanked so politely by Daniel made me feel a little strange.

I'm just a commoner who happens to be on friendly terms with the Baron; I really should be showing more humility. A bit late for that, though.

And so.

"I want to search for the next Baroness in Grunge and the Hidden Village."

"Are there any virgins in Grunge?"

Selen interjected with a deadpan expression.

...In distress, I shifted my gaze to Neia.

While nursing her newborn second daughter, Neia gave me a troubled smile.

"Any girl old enough to have sex in Grunge has either already found a lover, or she's already been 'claimed' by you."

"............N-No, it's not like I went in with the intention of being ready to plug my junk into every single one of them, though I suppose a few have ended up that way."

"If there are more than fifteen, I feel like it's fair to say that's the case. Or rather, since the rumor is that if you let yourself be held by Mr. Smythe, you won't be tossed aside, any girl without a particularly strong will ends up like that... Plus, half-elves tend to get increasingly hooked once they develop feelings."

"...Were there really more than fifteen...?"

"That's just the number I'm aware of, so there might be others. I didn't count the two or three who are neither white nor black."

"You really do turn every place you visit into a harem, don't you, Andy-san?"

"Ugh... uuuugh..."

Did I really go through that many? Well, every time I stayed there, there were a few girls who would sneak into my room at night... Let's see, there were two groups of three, one group of four, and then a solo... Wait. That's quite a lot.

"...Damn it. I let myself get too carried away with sex."

"Is that really such a bad thing? It must be painful to hold it all in."

"No! I'm not some tragic monster who'll fall ill if I don't have sex!?"

"No, if anything, I want you to be that kind of monster regarding sex. In fact, I want you to set your top priority for your downtime to 'Who am I having sex with today?'"

"I feel like there's something fundamentally wrong with that as a human being."

"There are plenty of women who wouldn't mind you making that 'rebuttal.' There's no way you'd have time for anything else! Rather than getting into strange skirmishes, I want you buried in girls like usual and just ejaculating! Considering everything that's happened, it's a miracle you're even alive!"

"Don't apply your memories of your wild youth from over ten years ago to me! I'm in my 40s now; I can't pull off that kind of recklessness anymore!"

"Lord Bonaparte and that bald man from Renfanga have been incredibly active even after becoming old men. Those who want to do it, will do it, no matter their age."

"Please don't assume I'm the type to 'do it' regardless of my age."

"I have no evidence for that. I just think that if I take my eyes off you for even a moment, you'll do it. So please, use your free time for sex. The dragons will handle most of the heavy lifting in the meantime."

"I was wondering why nothing has been happening wherever I go lately... were you the one giving those orders...?"

"See? You're always assuming something is definitely going to happen!"

Well, I mean, as a mindset. Since we're technically commanding a massive force, if something does happen, we can't just react with "oh no, oh dear."

"Andy-san, please just have sex whenever you have free time. Go make babies. That's what will make everyone the happiest."

"As a man, that's a line I'd love to be told once in my life, but hearing it now... it's complicated..."

"I've had enough heart-stopping moments as it is! There are hundreds of girls who want children, so I really don't have time to be sleeping!"

"Come to think of it, if it weren't for the Spirit Spring, I'd be dead from 'death by sex' for sure."

"It's fine because the Spirit Spring is here! ♪"

Though, with that method, even if we do find a candidate for Daniel's bride, there's a very high risk of an accidental discharge (in the sexual sense).

"Papa♪ I want to have a baby soon, too... We already do the 'parent-child butt-alignment' thing, so don't you want to try comparing nursing styles soon?"

"Ele. Are you playing outside properly? Has your vocabulary been corrupted by Kei-chan lately? Or rather, by that band of perverted maids?"

"You're the only dad, Andy, who would want to take a perverted, nympho daughter outside. Ah, I mean in a training sense? The kind of person who gets made to wear clothes even more embarrassing than being naked outdoors?"

"Hey Selen, your daughter's brain is getting seriously scrambled by all that semen. Isn't that a bit bad?"

"She's my daughter, after all! ♪ By the way, it's been a while since we've done anything, but I'm totally okay with you doing various 'training' things to me, too! ♪ Like, taking her and me for a walk on leashes, both naked... ♪"

"First, I think you need to work on making me a collar."

No matter how much of a nudist paradise Vapor Palace may be, this lewd mother and daughter certainly can't stop making unhinged comments. Even Neia is a bit put off. Well, then again, she looks like the type who would go along with it if told to.

After agonizing over it for a while, a thought suddenly occurred to me. I decided to ask Naris's daughter, Floria, "Will you marry Daniel when you grow up?"

She's a half-elf, so her brain isn't scrambled like the others. She's incredibly cute and has a bright personality. She's still young, but in ten years... I thought that even calling it an engagement for now might be acceptable.

I thought it was a great idea.

And yet...

"Eh? Aren't we supposed to marry Papa...?"

"What do you mean, 'supposed to'...?"

"All the big sisters said, 'That's just how our family rules are.'"

"Wait, hold on. Don't you think that's a bit weird? Papa is married to Mama."

"When I asked Mama, she said something weird like, 'It's okay, but no.'"

"...I imagine there was a deathly long silence before she gave that answer."

I can almost see the look of sheer distress on Naris's face.

When I went to see Daniel again a few days later, I found that he had entered into a whirlwind engagement with a fox beastgirl who had come for the hot springs.
"She was just so cute..."
Is that really all you have to say for yourself?

As I’ve confirmed before, I’m pretty much in a constant state of festival prep year-round.
The main reason is that I have so many obligations to different territories.
Basson is probably irrelevant now (though I still visit because I have friends there, it’s just not my community anymore). Then there’s Polka, Grunge, the Elven Territory, Rennest, the Cat Colony, the Royal Capital, Tark, and the port town of Citarl.
Even if each place only has a festival once or twice a year, that still means I’m guaranteed something every month, just by simple math.
Well, the Royal Capital’s festivals are too crowded to comfortably mingle (it’s one thing if I go alone, but taking my female slaves and kids along feels risky), and more than anything, I just back up the Sylphid Trading Company’s efforts there. Strictly speaking, I’m usually holed up in the Neumann estate on those days, doing pretty much nothing. If Lila and Anzeros are in charge, there’s nothing to worry about.
For the other communities’ festivals, I have to be involved somehow as a guest of honor or organizer, which makes scheduling a nightmare. Of course, my real job is erotic stuff and blacksmithing, so my organizational skills are still terrible. I rely heavily on managerial types like Diane, Kristy, and Cosmos-san to pull things together.

Lately, some of the kids have started helping out with the festivals too.

“Are these materials enough for the founding festival in Grunge next month? If not, we’ll have to scramble and get the dragon squad to gather more on short notice.”

“It’s enough, right? Look at these numbers…”

“You can’t touch that pile! Half of it’s going to the art festival.”

“The art festival… Oh, oh! They’re doing it again this year?”

“Then we need to have some extra prepared. If we have to rely on the dragons, Papa’ll have to go schmoozing with Crystal again.”

Hilda-san’s son, Claudio, has shown a knack for number management early on and helps the maid squad check material quantities and keep the ledgers.

If push comes to shove, we can always lean on the Elven Territory, the dragons, Onyx, or Sylphid for some favors, so I haven’t been too strict with inventory in the past. But of course, it’s best to avoid any last-minute scrambles.

“Claudio wants to play during festivals.”

“I only enjoy myself when I’m not worried. Once we realize we’re at odds like this, it’s hard not to feel that way.”

Claudio scribbles on a new sheet with his rune-engraved pen, recording the projected inventory changes.

It’s not actually engraved, but he really took to the pen after I lent it to him before, so I officially gave it to him recently. The material composition—the Breakcore horn and magic-frozen alloy nib—is the same as what I made when I was younger, but after making a few, the design and weight distribution have improved, making it much easier to write with.

Still, the materials are a bit overkill for just writing, so I’m thinking of making him something more practical out of wood from the Elven Territory. Once he knows how valuable it is, he’ll be robbed blind.

“Claudio’s too sensitive. You gotta live a little more freely, or you’ll wear yourself out. Hilda-mama said that too.”

And Peter, who’s grown up so boisterous and carefree, grins smugly.

He gets away with all sorts of mischief because he still looks young for his age as a half-dwarf, and people let him slide.

It’s not good to grow up withdrawn, but… he’s not exactly a bad kid either. He’s clever enough to avoid doing anything that would warrant a beating from the female slaves in charge of discipline, which makes him, in a way, a really great son of mine.

If I hadn’t left Polka and grown up in the Royal Capital, I probably would’ve turned out just as mischievous.

Those tough apprenticeships and military service were definitely necessary for developing my social skills, I remember now.

“Peter’s too easygoing. Maybe I should send him off to train somewhere…”

“T-Training!? What are you suddenly talking about, Dad!”

“I left Polka at ten to train in the Royal Capital. Back then, we couldn’t use dragons, so it took three weeks each way. I couldn’t just turn back when things got tough, so I learned patience and cooperation…”

“But half-dwarves like me get shunned in the Royal Capital! There’s no training for me!”

“That’s not true. Dwarves are pretty respected in blacksmithing circles, so you might be popular there.”

“R-really? Heh heh.”

He’s cunning but simple at heart, so he falls for convenient offers easily. You could say that’s childlike and cute.

But the Royal Capital… I don’t know about sending him back to the Three Rod Workshop… The master’s over 80 now. He still comes to bathe in the healing spring every six months, though, so he’s still got it in him.

The baronial family feels like it’s already passed on to the next generation.
The Baron Juniors, who were just kids when I came back, are now respectable young men, and Prince Daniel often handles the greetings that the Baron used to do.

"My daughter and my son-in-law each married nobles they met through the Royal Capital University. When I brought them celebratory gifts, they argued with me, saying, 'No, that's something the noble family should provide.' It took Irene stepping in and saying, 'Well, well, well, under the name of our White Clan,' before they finally accepted them."

"So, Daniel is also at an age where he needs to find a wife, but apparently it's proving difficult. Apparently, if you're honest about the fact that there's a Dragon Palace less than two kilometers from the mansion in your marriage proposals, they usually fall through."

"Sorry, sorry."

The Vapor Palace is a genuine, dragon-certified Dragon Palace. And apparently, one of the criteria for noble grooms is, "Don't marry into a house near a Dragon Palace."

Well, considering the Hundred-Year Fire Drake War, that's understandable, I guess. The general consensus is that you never know when you'll get roasted alive if a dragon's lair is nearby.

"I can't exactly say, 'Don't worry, it's not a scary Dragon Palace…'"

"That might be a bit difficult."

"...Yeah. I asked for too much."

A "not scary" Dragon Palace is about as contradictory as a benevolent murderer. Generally speaking.

"So, we're also considering marriage to a commoner woman."

"Is that an option?"

"It's not off the table. It used to be difficult, but Prolka is now an autonomous region. Polygamy is perfectly fine here."

"Oh, right... since there's no restriction on having only one wife, there's no need to force myself into choosing a woman of high status."

"Besides, the internal hierarchy of the Trott nobility doesn't hold much authority anyway."

As Daniel said, Trott still hasn't fully shed its vassal state status. On top of that, autonomous regions have extraterritoriality, and many foreigners live there, so a Trott noble isn't necessarily strong in terms of social standing.

"So, I wanted to ask for your advice."

"Sure."

I was wondering why Daniel had summoned me, so I started with small talk: "You're at an age where you should be thinking about getting married soon, or you'll end up like Lanz..." But it seems we got straight to the point.

"Do you know any half-elf women who are... well, suitable?"

"He specified a half-elf."

"I'm slightly uneasy about whether I can pass on my bloodline with a pure-blooded woman, so having human blood is preferable..."

...It makes sense in theory, but it feels like a whole different world. A noble wanting a half-elf… they were usually treated as nothing more than outlets for a night's desire, never accepted by anyone.

"But half-elves are often treated as 'illegitimate children' even by their own parents, right? Wouldn't that be a pain to deal with during marriage?"

"That kind of thing can be handled if you're willing."

Daniel stroked the goatee he'd grown in imitation of his father, the baron, and grinned.

Nobles are scary.

"Honestly, after growing up here in Prolka, I don't find humans from other lands very attractive. Elves are just too beautiful."

"I get it."

I've been cursed with a face-blindness hex by Apple, after all.

Finding a woman of that caliber in the royal capital or Basson is difficult. More than that, compared to the clean, healthy beauties of Polka, the women in the royal capital are too made-up and cloying.

Besides, half-elves tend to have big boobs, which is one of the few shortcomings of full elves.

"Alright… but why did you come to me with this?"

"? My father told me that if it’s about elves or half-elves, Smayson-san is the person to talk to…"

"Yeah, but we’re talking about a wife here, right? I don’t want it to turn into some situation where I’m just being handed a woman like some kind of dowry. …Not that I’m bragging, but I have this image of myself as someone who can’t keep his hands off women and ends up dragging them to bed."

"Well…"

"…Yeah, that came out wrong. Never mind."

So who the hell do you ask for "a half-elf girl introduction? Preferably a virgin"?

The pure-blooded elves he’s kept at arm’s length, of course, and the half-elves themselves don’t exactly have strong connections with each other.

Plus, the people who could actually tell them what to do are even fewer. Unless you’re in a position of power, you can’t just bring up a marriage proposal that’ll change someone’s life.

"I’ll try my best. Might not find anyone right away, though. I’ve been helped out by the baronial family a lot, after all."

"Thank you very much."

Daniel-kun thanking me so politely makes me feel weird.

I’m just a commoner who happens to be on friendly terms with the Baron, so I should probably be more humble. Though it’s a bit late for that now.

So…

"I want to find the next baroness in Granje or the Hidden Village."

"Are there any virgins in Granje?"

Selen deadpanned the question at me.

…I glanced at Neia, looking troubled.

Neia, feeding her newborn second daughter, chuckled with a troubled expression, just like Selen.

"The girls who are old enough to be that way have either made boyfriends in Granje or they’re already under your thumb, right?"

"…N-no, I wasn’t planning on shoving it in everyone’s face, and sure, some of them have ended up that way…"

"If there are over fifteen, I think you can say that. Or rather, the girls know if Smayson-san takes them, they won’t get passed around, so unless they have a really strong will, they end up that way… Plus, half-elves tend to get more and more hooked once they start getting attached."

"…There were fifteen or more…"

"That’s just the number I’m aware of. There might be others. I haven’t counted the two or three who are neither black nor white."

"Andy-san always builds a harem wherever he goes, doesn’t he?"

"U-ugh…"

Did I really get that many…? Well, there were a few who’d try to sneak into my room every time I stayed over… Let’s see, two groups of three, one group of four, and then some singles… Huh? That’s quite a lot.

"…Crap. I ended up sleeping around too much."

"Why not? It must be hard keeping it all in."

"No, I’m not some pathetic monster who needs to have sex or they’ll get sick!"

"Actually, I want you to be that kind of monster when it comes to sex. Or rather, I want you to make 'who to sleep with today' your top priority when you’re bored."

"That feels wrong on a human level."

"There are plenty of women you can hit on, so there’s no time for anything else. I want you to keep burying yourself in girls and ejaculating like always! Considering what you’ve been through, you shouldn’t even be alive!"

"Don’t keep applying those reckless memories from over ten years ago to me! I can’t do that kind of stuff anymore at 40!"

"Bonaparte and that baldy from Renfangas, they were both kicking butt like it was nothing even after they turned old. If you want to do something, you can do it at any age."

"Don't think of me as someone who's acting beyond my years."

"There’s no basis for that. I just think if you take your eyes off them for a second, they’ll do something. So please, busy yourself with… intimate activities during your free time. The dragons will handle most of the rough stuff in the meantime."

"I’ve been thinking lately that nothing’s happening no matter where I go… and then I see you giving orders like that?"

"See? You’re definitely expecting something to happen!"

"Well, it’s just a precaution. I mean, we’re moving major forces around here, so if something does happen, I can’t exactly say ‘Oops!’"

"Andy, please, busy yourself with… intimate activities whenever you have free time. Please, make babies. That’s what’ll make everyone happiest."

"It’s the line every guy wants to hear at least once in his life, but actually hearing it is complicated…"

"I’ve had my share of heart-stopping moments! There are hundreds of girls who want kids, so I’m honestly never really free!"

"Speaking of which… without the Spirit Spring, I’d be staring down a belly death any day now."

"But we have the Spirit Spring, so it’s all good!"

Besides, with that method, there’s a very high risk of misfiring (sexually) even if Daniel finds a bride.

"Pa! I kinda want kids too… We’ve lined up parent-child butts plenty of times, so how about we try a parent-child breastfeeding taste test soon?"

"Ele. Are you making sure she plays outside properly? Has her vocabulary been corrupted by Kei-chan lately? Or rather, that perverted maid group."

"Only Andy would want to let this perverted slut out in public. Oh—wait, do you mean in a training sense? Like forcing her to wear something more embarrassing than naked?"

"Hey, Selen, your daughter’s got way too much semen running through her brain. That’s not good."

"She’s mine! By the way, I haven’t had any recently, but I’m totally okay with you doing stuff to me in a training sense too! Like a full-naked collar walk with Ele-chan…"

"I think we’d need to make you a collar first."

No matter how much of a naked paradise Vapor Palace is, these perverted mother-daughter are just spouting crazy stuff.
Naias is even starting to recoil. Well, if told to do it, she’d probably do it, though.

After some deliberation, I suddenly asked Nalis’s daughter, Flora, “Would you marry Daniel when you grow up?”

She’s a half-elf, and her head isn’t Vaporized yet. She’s super cute and has a bright personality. She’s still young, but in ten years… for now, an engagement would be fine.

That’s a great idea, right?

But then…

"Huh? Don’t you marry Dad here?"

"What do you mean ‘here’?"

"All the older sisters said, ‘It’s a rule here.’"

"Wait, seriously? Isn’t that weird? Dad’s married to Mom."

"When I asked Mom, she said, ‘Okay, but no,’ in a strange way."

"…I think there was a deathly long pause before that answer."

Nalis’s face is visibly twisting with worry.

A few days later, when I went to see Daniel again, he’d suddenly announced an electric engagement with the fox beast girl who’d been coming for hot spring treatments from Celesta.
"She was cute…"
Is that good enough for you?

As I confirmed some time ago, I've been in a state of preparing for festivals almost year-round.
To begin with, there are simply too many communities where I have obligations.
Even though Basson is now effectively out of the picture (he's still friendly enough to visit given his numerous acquaintances, but he no longer belongs to my community), I'm tied to Polka, Grunge, Karlwin, Elf Territory, Renneest, the Cat Colony, Tark in the Capital City, and Seitar in the Port Town.
Even if each location hosts only one or two festivals annually, with this many places involved, it amounts to something happening every single month on a simple calculation.
Well, the Capital City's festivals draw such massive crowds that mixing in requires real resolve (it's manageable alone, but bringing female slaves or children feels too risky given what could go wrong). Besides, I'm more of a backup for the Sylphid Trading Company's various activities rather than the one organizing things; strictly speaking, I just hide away at the Neumann household on festival days and usually do nothing special. With Lyra and Anzeros handling everything, there's no need to worry.
For festivals in other communities, however, I must participate either as a guest of honor or an organizer, making schedule management quite demanding. Naturally, since my true professions are erotic arts and blacksmithing, those skills remain abysmal, so I rely heavily on the administrative talents of people like Ms. Diane, Kristie, and Ms. Cosmos to keep things running smoothly.

Lately, more children among us have become capable of assisting with festival preparations.

"Materials for Grunge's Founding Festival next month—will this amount suffice? In the worst case, we'd have to urgently gather them again via the Dragon Legion."

"It should be enough! Look at these numbers..."

"You can't touch those figures. Half of it will go toward the Art Festival."

"The Art Festival... Oh, right! Last year's one! Are they doing it again this year?"

"If that's the case, we need surplus stockpiles. If we rely on the Dragons to gather everything, Papa'll have to go appease the crystals again."

Hilda's son Claudio is already showing strong aptitude for numerical management and has begun assisting the maid group with checking material quantities and maintaining ledgers.

While emergencies could be handled through cooperation from Elf Territory, the Dragons, Onyx, or Sylphid, and I haven't always managed things seriously in the past, it's certainly better to avoid panicking situations altogether.

"Claudio would want to play during festivals, wouldn't he?"

"I can't enjoy anything until worries are eliminated. That's how my mind works when I notice such discrepancies."

Claudio swiftly writes new documents with his Engraving Pen, recording inventory inflows and outflows.

Though it's not actually engraved, he grew fond of the pen after borrowing it earlier and now officially owns it as a gift. While its composition—Breakcore horn and mana-concentrated nib—is identical to what I crafted in my youth, repeated production has refined its design and balance, significantly improving writability.

Still, for mere writing purposes, the materials feel overly extravagant. Perhaps I should craft something more appropriately sized using wood from Elf Territory. Once people realize its value, bandits might easily target it.

"Claudio's too neurotic. He needs to live more freely, or life will be tough," Hilda Mom once said.

Meanwhile, Peter, who has grown utterly rough-and-ready and cheerful, brags proudly.

On his end, he continues causing mischief daily, taking advantage of his Half-Dwarf appearance that still looks youthful enough to earn leniency for his pranks.

While it's not good to grow withdrawn and introverted, nor is excessive naughtiness acceptable... he possesses just the right cunning to avoid reaching the point where I'd need a female slave enforcer to discipline him. In many ways, he's truly my son.

If he'd stayed in Polka without ever visiting the Capital City, I imagine I too would have grown into such a clever little rascal.

Reflecting on my own youth, I realize that the harsh apprenticeship and military life were essential for developing my current social skills.

"Peter's too carefree. Maybe we should send him away for some training..."

"T-Training?! Dad, why are you suddenly saying that!"

"I left Polka at ten and trained in the Capital City myself. Back then, I couldn't use Dragons, so both trips took three weeks each. I couldn't just give up easily despite my dislike, which taught me patience, teamwork, and other valuable traits..."

"But wouldn't Half-Dwarfs like me be fair game for bullying in the Capital?! There's no such thing as 'training'!"

"That's not true. Dwarfs are quite respected in the blacksmithing circles, so you might actually be popular there."

"S-So... maybe? Hehe..."

Though clever at heart but fundamentally simple-minded, his tendency to jump on convenient opportunities is undeniably childlike and adorable.

Still, the Capital City presents challenges. Sending him back to Sreed Workshop isn't ideal either—the master is over eighty now. Though he visits the Spirit Springs every half-year and remains energetic, it's not a perfect solution.

The Baron family's lineage feels like it has already passed to the next generation.
By the time I returned, the Junior Barons who were still children have matured into fine young men, and greetings once handled by the Baron are now frequently entrusted to Lord Daniel.

My daughter and I were each married into noble families we met through our studies at the Capital University.
When we went to offer congratulatory gifts, they insisted that such presents should be given by the nobles themselves, leading to a heated back-and-forth. Eventually, Irina stepped in and said, "Very well, then, in the name of our White Clan," and only then were they graciously accepted.

As for young Master Daniel, he has reached marriageable age and must now seek a bride, though it seems this endeavor is proving difficult.

"If I honestly mention during negotiations that there's a Dragon Palace just under two kilometers from the estate," he says, "it almost always falls through."

"Super sorry about that."

The Viper Palace is, in fact, the genuine Dragon Palace endorsed by the dragons themselves.
Apparently, one of the criteria for noble marriage matches is to avoid marrying into families whose residences are too close to a Dragon Palace.
Of course, given the Fire Dragon War a century ago, this makes perfect sense; after all, if a dragon's dwelling is nearby, who knows when your entire estate might be burned to the ground? That's the general perception.

"I suppose I can't exactly reassure you that the Dragon Palace isn't scary..."

"That's quite difficult."

"...Yeah. I pushed my luck."

A Dragon Palace that isn't scary is as contradictory as a benevolent serial killer—at least in common understanding.

"For these reasons, we're also considering marriage to ordinary women."

"Is that allowed?"

"Certainly not forbidden. It used to be more challenging, but now Polka is an autonomous region. Polygamy is perfectly acceptable here."

"Oh, I see... Since there's no restriction on having only one wife, perhaps we don't need to strictly select a woman of high status after all?"

"Moreover, the internal hierarchy within the Trotts holds little authority."

As Daniel points out, Polka still hasn't fully shed its status as a vassal state.
Furthermore, as an autonomous region with extraterritorial privileges and a significant foreign population, Trott nobles cannot always claim strong social standing.
In that case, it wouldn't be improper for the next leader of this autonomous region to make use of the freedoms granted to them.

"I was hoping to consult with you about something."

"Yeah?"

I had been wondering why Daniel summoned me, so I started with small talk: "You're at an age where you could find a wife soon; if you don't act quickly, you'll end up like Lanz." But it seems we've already moved straight to the main topic.

"Do you know any half-elf women who seem suitable?"

"You've specified 'half-elf' now, have you?"

"With pure-blooded elves, I'm slightly concerned about whether my bloodline can be preserved; having some human ancestry would be better, so..."

...Logically sound, yet feels like a conversation from another era.
Half-elves, once treated as outcasts—accepted by no one and often used merely as outlets for fleeting desires—are now being sought after by nobility?

"But half-elves are often labeled 'illegitimate children' even by their own parents, right? Wouldn't explaining that away during marriage negotiations be a hassle?"

"If you're willing to put in the effort, anything can be arranged."

Daniel smiled mischievously, stroking his small mustache, which he'd grown as a nod to his baronial status.

Nobles are terrifying.

"To be honest, people raised here in Polka often don't seem particularly attractive compared to humans from other lands. Elves are simply too beautiful."

"I get that."

I myself am cursed with an obsession for apples thanks to Apple.

Finding a woman of that caliber in the capital or Basson is difficult. Above all, compared to the clean and healthily beautiful women of Polka, the refined ladies of the capital smell too much of cosmetics and feel harsh.

Moreover, half-elves tend to have larger breasts for some reason, which is one of the few unsatisfactory points about elves.

"I see... but you really did come to me with something like that."

"?" "I was told by my father that if it concerns elves or half-elves, I should speak with Mr. Smayson without fail..."

"No, because we're talking about making her my wife! It's unpleasant to have a woman handed over as if she were some kind of errand girl... And yes, I admit it myself, but when I approach women and touch them, I end up dragging them into bed, don't you think?"

"Well..."

"...No, there's no point in saying that. Yeah."

So who should I ask to introduce a half-elf woman? Preferably a virgin?

Of course, the pure-blooded elves who have continuously rejected us aren't an option, and the half-elves themselves don't particularly have strong horizontal connections either.

Furthermore, those who could speak strongly on their behalf are even fewer. Unless one holds a position of considerable influence, there's no way to bring up marriage negotiations that can shape someone's life.

"Anyway, I'll try my best. It might take some time before we find anyone. But the barony has been very helpful to me as well."

"Thank you."

Daniel bowed politely and thanked me, leaving me feeling a bit strange.

I'm just a subject of the baron who happens to be on friendly terms with him; originally, I should have been much more humble. It's a bit late for that now.

In any case.

"I want to find a future Baroness in Grange and the hidden village."

"Does Grange have virgins?"

Selen deadpanned, cutting me off.

...I looked helplessly at Nae.

Along with Selen, Nae smiled awkwardly while breastfeeding our newborn second daughter.

"Most girls of marriageable age in Grange are either already making lovers or you've made your move on them."

"...N-no, I didn't intend for everyone to be prepared to have their penises thrust into them, and yes, there are certainly a few who have ended up like that..."

"If there were more than fifteen, I'd say it's normal. Or rather, since being with Mr. Smayson means you won't be discarded, girls without very strong wills tend to end up that way... Also, half-elves tend to get deeply hooked once their feelings shift."

"...There were more than fifteen?"

"That's the number I'm aware of; there could be others. I didn't count those two or three who are neither clearly white nor black."

"Andy seems to make harems wherever he goes."

"U-uh..."

Did I really go that far? Well, there were certainly a few girls who kept trying to sneak into my bed every time I stayed there... Hmm, let's see: two groups of three and one group of four, plus some singles... Huh? There are quite a few.

"...I've been too carried away by casual sex."

"It's not like it's bad, right? Holding back is painful too."

"No! I'm not some tragic monster who gets sick if I don't have sex!"

"On the contrary, I'd prefer you to be that kind of monster when it comes to sex. Or rather, I want your top priority for idle time to be 'Who will I sleep with today?'."

"That feels wrong as a human being."

"There are plenty of women who can handle being cut up, so there's no time for anything else. Instead of doing weird reckless things like that, I'd prefer you just get buried in girls and ejaculate as usual! Think about how miraculous it is to be alive after everything that's happened!"

"You keep applying memories from over ten years ago to me!? Even at forty-something, I can't pull off the recklessness of that period!"

"My Lord Bonaparte and that bald fellow, Renfangas—look at them! They've been having an easy time making a huge impact even after becoming old men. People like that can do it no matter their age."

"I don't want you to think I'm the type who acts without regard for my years."

"There's absolutely no evidence for that. I believe they'll just spring into action whenever I turn my back. So, please spend your free time being intimate. While you're at it, the Dragon ladies will handle most of the messy work."

"I was thinking lately that nothing seemed to be happening wherever I went... until now, when you started giving these orders...?"

"Of course there's supposed to be something!"
Well, as a matter of preparation. After all, we're mobilizing a massive force; if things go wrong, panic won't cut it.

"Andy, please just keep being intimate whenever you have free time. Go ahead and make babies—that's the best way for everyone to be happy."

"It's a line every man wants to hear at least once in his life, but when it actually comes true... it gets complicated..."

"I've had plenty of moments where my blood ran cold! There are hundreds of daughters who want children, so I really don't have time to sleep!"

"Even now, if there's no Spirit Spring, we're staring down a death by starvation."

"There's the Spirit Spring, so we're fine♪"

Also, with this method, if a suitable bride for young Daniel is found, there's a very high risk of accidental firing—in the sexual sense.

"Papa♪ Soon I want to have a child too... We practice parent-child butt-stacking all the time; wouldn't you like to try comparing who can lick their own baby's milk better soon?"

"Ele, do you sometimes play properly outside? Has your vocabulary been contaminated by Kay-chan lately? By that perverted maid group, I mean."

"A father who wants to take out a perverted, lustful daughter like this is only Andy. Oh wait—did you mean in a disciplinary sense? Someone made to wear something more embarrassing than being naked outside?"

"Hey, Selen, your daughter's brain is already flooded with semen. This isn't good, is it?"

"She's my daughter, after all♪ By the way, even though I haven't done it recently, I'm okay with you doing various things to me in a disciplinary sense too♪ Like taking a full-naked collar walk alongside Ele-chan...♪"

"I think making a collar for me should come first."
No matter how much of a naked paradise Viper Palace is, this perverted mother-daughter duo keeps spouting twisted remarks.
Even Neia is slightly taken aback. Well, if they asked her to do it, she'd probably be willing to try.

After pondering for a while, I suddenly realized something and asked Floria, Naris's daughter: "Daniel and you—will you get married when you grow up?"
She's a half-elf, so her mind isn't as twisted as Viper's. She looks incredibly cute and has a cheerful personality. Though she's still young, in another ten years... For now, I think an engagement would be fine.
Isn't that a nice idea?
But then—

"Huh? At our house, we're supposed to marry Papa, right...?"

"What do you mean by 'at our house'...?"

"All the older sisters said, 'At our house, it's a rule like that.'"

"Wait, isn't that weird no matter what? Papa is already married to Mama!"

"When I asked Mama, she said something strange like, 'It's okay, but no.'"

"...I think there was an incredibly long pause before she gave that answer."

Naris's troubled expression seemed to warp visibly.

A few days later, when I went to see young Daniel again, Celesta had already been engaged in a lightning marriage with a fox beast-girl who had come for a bath treatment.
"Because she was so cute..."
Is that really okay for you?

I’ve checked this before, but I’m pretty much in a state of constantly preparing for festivals.

After all, there are so many places with ties to me.

Basson is probably beyond my reach now (though I do have friends there, so I’ll stop by if needed, but it’s not really part of my community anymore), and then there’s Polka, Grange, Karlwin, the elf territory, Renne, the cat colony, the royal capital, Talc, and the harbor town Sitala.

Even if festivals in one place happen only once or twice a year, with this many, it means something is happening every month on average.

Well, the festival in the royal capital is way too crowded to mix into (though I’d be fine if I went alone; but taking the female slave or the kids would be risky), and honestly, it’s not so much about me doing anything as it is backing up the various activities of the Sylphide Trading Company. Strictly speaking, on the day itself, I’ll just be holed up in the Neumann household, and I usually don’t do much. If Lila and Anzoros team up, there’s no need to worry about anything.

As for the festivals in other communities, I have to get involved as a host or organizer, which is a hassle with scheduling. Of course, my real specialties are lewd things and blacksmithing, so my skills are still pretty lackluster, and I rely heavily on people like Dianne-san, Cristy, Cosmos-san, and others who handle management to pull it off.

Lately, even the kids have started helping out with festivals.

“Do we have enough materials for the Grange’s Founding Festival next month? If worst comes to worst, we’ll have to scramble to gather them from the dragon army again.”

“No, we’re fine. Look at these numbers…”

“That’s not your job. Half of it is for the arts festival.”

“The arts festival… Oh, wait! Last year’s! Are they doing it again?”

“If we don’t have a surplus, we’ll have to rely on the dragons to gather them. That means Papa will have to go groveling for crystals again.”

Hilda-san's son, Claudius, has already shown a knack for managing numbers and is helping with checking the amount of materials entrusted to the maid group and keeping records.

If it comes down to it, we can rely on the help of the elf lands, the dragons, or even Onyx and the Sylphids to get us through tough times. Until now, we haven’t been too strict about managing things, but of course, it’s better not to panic.

"Even Claudius would want to have some fun during the festival."

"I can’t enjoy myself until I’ve eliminated all my worries. Seeing things like this makes it hard."

Claudius quickly scribbles a new document with a mark-making pen, recording incoming and outgoing stock.

It’s not like he’s using the mark to seal anything, but after I lent him one before, he really took to it and ended up loving it so much that I recently gave it to him as a proper gift. The materials—dragon horn and a magic solid pen tip—are the same as what I made when I was younger, but over time, the design and balance have improved, making it much easier to use.

Still, the materials are probably too extravagant for just writing things down, so I’m thinking of making him something more suitable using wood from the elf lands. If he gets a sense of its value, it might even get stolen by some thieves.

"Claudius is way too uptight. He needs to live more freely or he’ll burn out. Hilda-mama said so too."

Meanwhile, Peter, who has grown up carelessly and cheerfully, is boasting about himself.

On the other hand, Peter, being a half-dwarf, still looks quite young and gets a lot of leniency, which he takes advantage of to get into trouble.

It’s not good for him to grow up shrinking and introverted, but it’s also not great to be too much of a scoundrel… While he’s cunning enough not to cross the line and risk getting punished by the female slave in charge of discipline, he’s still my kid in many ways.

If I hadn’t left the royal capital and stayed in Polka to raise him, I probably would’ve grown up into a sly little brat like him too.

I recall my youth, thinking that both the harsh apprenticeship and military service were essential in shaping my current sense of social responsibility.

"Peter is way too easygoing. Maybe I should send him off for some training..."

"T-training!? What are you suddenly talking about, Dad!?"

"Well, when I was 10, I left home and trained in the capital. Back then, I couldn’t use dragons, so it took three weeks to get there and back. Even if I’d gotten tired of it, I couldn’t just come back easily, so I learned things like patience and teamwork..."

"But in the capital, half-breeds like me are just outcasts, right? There’s no way they’d accept training!"

"That’s not true. Dwarves are actually quite respected in the smithing community, so you might even be popular in the capital."

"Yeah, maybe? Hehe."

He’s cunning but at heart simple, which makes him easily swayed by convenient ideas. In that way, he’s still a bit of a child, which is both clever and cute.

But the capital... It’s not like I could just send him back to Three-D’s workshop again. The master’s already over 80. He still comes to the sacred spring every six months, so he’s still in good health.

The baron’s family seems to be shifting to the next generation.

When I returned, the baron’s junior was just a child, but now they’ve grown into fine young men. The baron has largely handed over his greetings to Prince Daniel, who’s taken on the role.

His daughters each married noble families they met through the capital university.

When I brought a gift, we got into an argument about whether such gestures were more appropriate for the nobles to make. Eventually, Irina stepped in and said, "Now, now, on behalf of the White clan," and they finally accepted it.

As for Daniel-kun, he’s at a marriageable age, so he needs to start looking for a wife. But apparently, this is proving quite difficult.

"If you honestly tell them that 'there’s a dragon palace about 2 kilometers away from the manor,' it usually doesn’t go well."

"I’m really sorry."

Vapor Palace is an official, authentic dragon palace, fully endorsed by the dragons themselves.

And apparently, there’s a rule among nobles that "don’t marry into a family with a dragon palace nearby."

Well, considering the Dragon War a hundred years ago, it’s only natural to think that if dragons are nearby, you never know when they might roast you alive. That’s generally the prevailing understanding.

“I can’t really say it’s not a scary dragon palace, so I can’t exactly tell you to rest easy…”

“That’s a bit tricky.”

“Yeah… I was asking for too much.”

A dragon palace that isn’t scary? It’s like a benevolent serial killer. That’s generally the consensus.

“So, marriage with an ordinary woman is also in the cards.”

"Is that allowed?"

"It is not prohibited. It seems it was difficult in the past, but now Polka is an autonomous zone. Polygamy is also common."

"Oh, I see… Since there’s no restriction on having just one wife, there’s no need to strictly select a woman of high status."

"Also, the authority of the social hierarchy within Trot has little weight."

As Daniel-kun said, Trot is still treated as a semi-autonomous territory.

Moreover, the autonomous zone has extraterritorial jurisdiction, and many foreigners live there, so it cannot be said that Trot nobles are necessarily of high status.

If so, it would not be a bad thing to demonstrate the use of the recognized freedoms by the next leader of that autonomous zone.

"Let me ask you something."

"Hm?"

I was wondering why Daniel-kun had called me here and started with some small talk about how "you’re getting to be a good age to get married, if you don’t hurry, you’ll end up like Lanz." But it seems I’ve gotten straight to the point.

"Does anyone know a half-elf woman who seems like a nice fit?"

"You’ve specified half-elves, huh?"

"Regarding the purity of the bloodline, I’m somewhat concerned about whether I can pass on my blood. So, having some human blood would be better…"

…On the surface, it makes sense, but it feels like a leap in logic.

For half-elves who are treated as outcasts and used as mere outlets for one-night desires, to think that nobles would seek them out is surprising…

"But half-elves often get treated like 'illegitimate children' by their parents, right? When it comes to marriage, I imagine they’d have to deal with that kind of stuff."

"That’s something you can handle if you put your mind to it."

Daniel-san stroked his fake mustache, which he had grown as a pretense of being a baron, and smirked.

Nobles are scary.

"Honestly, growing up in Polka, I find that humans from other lands don’t seem all that appealing. Elves are just too beautiful."

"I get it."

I’m also under the spell of the ‘charm of beauty’ cast by Apple.

It’s hard to find women at the level of those in the royal capital or Besson, and besides, the polished women of the royal capital are too perfumed and harsh compared to the clean and healthy women of Polka.

Plus, half-elves often have bigger chests than elves, who are lacking in that area.

"Got it. …But you really came to me about that, huh?"

"? My father told me to take this to Mr. Smysen when it comes to elves and half-elves… but…"

"No, because it’s about wanting a wife, right? I’d hate it if it felt like I was being handed some woman you’ve already touched… …Well, maybe it’s a bit much for me to say this, but I’ve always been the type to get close to women, touch them, and then end up in bed with them."

"That’s… well…"

"...No, never mind. That was pointless. Yeah."

So who should I even ask to "introduce me to a half-elf woman. Ideally, one who’s a virgin"?

The pure-blooded elves who had been ostracized, of course, but even the half-elves themselves didn’t have particularly strong connections with each other.

Moreover, when it came to someone who could tell them things firmly, the options narrowed even further. Unless you held a certain position of power, you couldn’t exactly bring up marriage prospects that could change your life.

"Anyway, I’ll do my best. It might not be found right away, though. After all, the baron’s family has helped me out a lot."

"Thank you."

Being politely thanked by Daniel-kun made me feel a little weird.

I’m just a commoner who’s on friendly terms with the baron, so I should’ve been more humble in the first place. Even now, it feels late to change that.

So, that’s it.

"I want to look for the next baroness in Grange and the hidden village."

"Do you have any virgins in Grange?"

Selen interjected with a serious expression.

...I looked at Neia, who was visibly flustered.

Both Selen and Neia, while feeding their newly born second child, laughed awkwardly.

"Girls old enough to do it usually end up with lovers in Grange, or they’re yours, aren’t they?"

"...N-no, I wasn’t planning on going all in with every single one of them. Sure, some of them have ended up that way, but..."

"If there were over 15, you could say that’s normal. Actually, it’s become a thing where if they get with Smysan-san, they won’t be thrown away, so those with no strong will end up like that... Plus, half-elves tend to get attached and then fall deeper and deeper."

"...There were over 15 of them...?"

"That’s just what I know about. There might be others. I’m not counting the two or three who are neither white nor black."

"Andy-san, you always end up with a harem no matter where you go, huh?"

"Ugh, uhh..."

Did I really get that into it? Well, there are a few girls who come to my place every night... um, two groups of three and one group of four, plus some solo ones... huh? That’s quite a lot.

"...Crap. I got way too carried away."

"You’re fine, aren’t you? It’s not like it’s hard to hold back or anything."

"No, I’m not some sad monster who’ll get sick if I don’t have sex!?"

"No, actually, I’d rather you were that kind of monster when it comes to sex. Like, make sure your top priority during free time is 'who am I going to sleep with today'!"

"That feels like something’s wrong with me as a person."

"There are plenty of girls who can handle it, so there’s no way I’d have time for anything else. Just keep doing what you’re doing and let me bury myself in your girls while you cum! It’s a miracle you’re even alive considering everything that’s happened!"

"Don’t keep applying those wild memories from over ten years ago to me! I’m in my 40s now, so there’s no way I can handle something like that anymore!"

"But look at Napoleon or that bald guy from Rennes-les-Bains—they’re both old men now and still pulling off crazy stuff. If you’re the right person, you’ll keep going no matter how old you get."

"I don’t want you to think I’m the kind of person who keeps doing it even when I shouldn’t."

"There’s no proof for that. I just think you’d do it if you had a chance. So, please keep having sex in your free time. Meanwhile, the dragon girls will handle most of the trouble."

"Recently, I’ve been thinking, ‘Why does nothing ever happen wherever I go?’ But then I realized it’s because you’ve been giving those orders…?"

"See? You were totally expecting something to happen, weren’t you!"

Well, it’s more about mindset. I mean, we’re moving a massive force after all, so when things do happen, we can’t just panic.

"Andy-san, please just keep having sex whenever you get the chance. Keep making babies. That’s what will make everyone happiest."

"It’s something every man dreams of hearing at least once in his life, but it’s kind of complicated when you actually hear it…"

"I’ve had enough of my heart racing! There are hundreds of girls who want children, so honestly, I don’t even have time to sleep!"

"Speaking of which, if there wasn’t a sacred spring, I’d probably die of indigestion by now."

"But it’s fine because we have the sacred spring♪"

Also, with that method, there’s a high risk of accidentally (in a sexual sense) shooting Daniel-kun’s future bride candidate.

"Papa♪ I’ve been wanting to have kids too… We’ve been doing family butt-to-butt sessions a lot, so maybe it’s time to try family nipple-licking competitions or something?"

"Ele. Make sure she’s playing outside properly. Lately, hasn’t her vocabulary been getting contaminated by Kay-chan? Or rather, that twisted maid group of hers."

"The only dad who’d let his daughter out in public looking like this is Andy. Oh, I mean, in a training sense? Someone who’s made to wear even more embarrassing outfits than going outside naked?"

"Hey, Selen, your daughter’s getting a lot of semen in her brain. Isn’t that bad?"

"My daughter, of course♪ By the way, I haven’t done it recently, but I’m totally fine with you doing it to me in a training kind of way♪ Like walking around naked with collars…♪"

"I think you should make me a collar first."

Even though this is the paradise of Vaper Palace, these perverted mother and daughter are making some seriously twisted remarks.

Even Neia seems a bit taken aback. Well, she’d probably do it if asked, though.

After thinking about it for a while, I suddenly remembered and asked Floria, Naris’s daughter, "When you grow up, will you marry Daniel-san?"

She’s half-elf, so even if her brain gets vaporized, she’s still fine. She looks super cute, her personality is bright, and she’s still young, but in about 10 years… I think even an engagement would be fine for now.

Isn’t that a nice idea?

But then…

"Wait, isn’t she supposed to marry Papa…?"

"What do you mean ‘supposed to’…?"

"All the big sisters said it’s ‘our family tradition.’"

"No, wait? Don’t you think that’s weird? Dad is already married to Mom."

"Mom said something weird when I asked her: 'It’s fine, but it’s not.'"

"...I think there must have been a ridiculously long period of time before she answered like that."

I could almost see the twisted look on Naris’s face as he pondered this.

Later, when I went to see Daniel-kun again, I found out he’d gotten shockingly engaged to a fox beast girl who had come to the hot springs for treatment.

"He was cute..."

Is that really okay with you?