Having too many children is a common problem in the countryside. With no entertainment whatsoever, sex with my wife becomes the sole joy of daily life. Since the surrounding villagers see no harm in having more workers and heirs, they encourage her to keep going as much as she likes. As a result, before long, a large extended family forms. Especially since beastkin twins and triplets are commonplace, giving birth repeatedly quickly results in families numbering in the dozens. In Isaac’s case, his wife is a beastkin sister pair, so their children numbered around twenty in no time, causing quite a stir. Though I wanted to tell him to pull back, it wasn’t really my place to say such things. Indeed, the cat-beastkin group has fallen into a baby boom. Including those from the original Cat Colony, I suspect there are now over two hundred children of mine alone—more than double the initial population of the colony. When I asked Ailina if everything would truly be alright, she casually replied, “There’s no shortage of resources to raise them. Besides, dragons exist too.” Regarding food, idle blue and silver dragons take turns stationed near the Cat Colony to support monster-hunting efforts, so that poses no problem. As for clothing and education, direct trade with the Elf Territory has been established, making arrangements flexible. Children old enough to understand are welcomed into our private Polka Academy, where Lorrie serves as an instructor. Though Lorrie admits cat-beastkin are notoriously fickle and troublesome, the faculty of elves and dragons, each possessing decades to centuries of expertise in their respective fields, are exceptionally skilled. Among the kittens, some have even demonstrated magical aptitude rivaling Ailina’s own. Well, since they lack Ailina’s lifespan, I suppose they’ll never quite catch up.
“This situation, where almost everyone here is my child… it’s a strange way to put it, but I feel disconnected from it.” “None of them are children your father doesn’t know about, right?” “That’s true, but still—two hundred people!” “And besides, this isn’t all of them, is it?” ”…Yeah, that’s right.” Sighing while standing behind the lecture hall of Polka Academy alongside Claudio. Of course, children too young to understand are not admitted to the academy. Claudio is only ten years old, yet thanks to his mother Hilda’s influence, his intelligence far surpasses others; he has already mastered most core subjects on his own and is treated as a graduate. What a stark contrast to Peter, who continues to chase after breasts as usual. By the way, the academy operates only during the six-month winter season when everyone has leisure time; during summer, each child returns to their hometown. Students include not just cat-beastkin but also children born to elves and even some prostitutes, alongside regular citizens of Polka Town and Grangi. Still, mostly my own children attend the opening ceremony. Especially since dragons transport the cats, attendance is guaranteed. Moreover, having started as an extension of the church temple’s educational program, they’ve inherited a laid-back attitude where appearing at opening or closing ceremonies isn’t strictly necessary. But even if they complete all courses, no medals are awarded for it, so who cares? There is one benefit: while attending the academy, lodging and meals are free. Since most of my children attend, this policy naturally extended to external students as well. Half the time, they stay at an inn we manage with our help; the other half, they sleep in the Vaper Palace. Of course, access to the palace is limited to my children only. For the boys, I strongly recommend staying at the inn since full-nude paradise might be too stimulating for them. Some voices argue that girls should also be allowed, but female slaves reassured us, saying, “It’s mostly women anyway, so it should be fine,” and I nodded in agreement. Of course, undressing is not mandatory. However, cat-beastkin are naturally carefree and tend to strip naked without hesitation. Looking ahead, maintaining the policy of never doing anything inappropriate with my daughters seems difficult under these circumstances. Should I negotiate with the Baron or Kristie to establish another inn operated by family members? …But expanding our inn business too much might complicate matters regarding “who exactly I am.” I’m a blacksmith, after all—the owner of Smisson’s Weapon Shop. Business there remains stagnant, receiving almost no orders outside the crossbow squad.
“Hmm…”
“I’ve always thought your father has quite peculiar worries.”
“That’s because I’m such a strange father… sorry about that.”
Due to the vast difference between my lifestyle and other fathers’, explaining myself to my growing children has become increasingly difficult, so lately I often resort to the excuse, “Because I’m such a weird dad.”
My father is strange, so it’s no wonder there are too many mothers. My father is strange, so it’s no wonder I don’t understand how he makes a living.
Since my father is strange, it’s no wonder that even though I’m already forty, I’ve made a fifteen-year-old new recruit into a mother… No, no. That’s just too much.
To the outside world, the old female slaves aren’t considered slaves anymore; they’re all wives now. But even today, they don’t really care about that distinction.
In broad terms, there’s still the status of “female slave,” and once you bear children or make a certain contribution, you’re recognized as “full-fledged” and given the external title of “wife.”
Lately, female slaves have been increasing again. I didn’t intend for them to increase, but they’ve just kept growing.
I really think it’s wrong to impregnate someone as young as Elenia, but unfortunately, I can’t hold my ground against eager ones forever—that’s a bad habit of mine. So I ended up getting her pregnant and even threw an congratulatory party. I suppose few of the children truly accept me with the thought, “Well, it’s no wonder; he’s a strange father.”
“I’d like to be as boastful a father as possible… but I’m so weird there’s nothing to boast about.”
“Hmm. As for me, I think my dad is pretty normal and something to be proud of.”
“Klaus is such a good kid…”
My heart twinges.
But how can a ten-year-old possibly find anything admirable in a father who, every single day, soaks in the hot springs completely naked while dozens of mothers urinate white streams onto him? I can’t think of any point to boast about either.
“Everyone says that among Dark Elves, having stronger libido than your grandfather is already legendary.”
“Hold on. Wait, no… let me see. Who exactly are ‘everyone’ and ‘who’?”
“Mama Hilda, Mama Cosmos, Mama Mira, Mama Noelle, and so on.”
“In the Dark Elf cultural sphere, going that far with a ten-year-old…!”
Sex education is way too early.
No, I think my past self was way too slow. When I was ten, I didn’t understand actual sex, so Apple just left me to natural play.
But how can mothers openly tell a ten-year-old, “Your dad has a strong sex drive,” and explain the meaning of that? And they even teach about your grandfather’s sexual matters!
“At least in Tark, if you say ‘Andy, son-in-law of Onyx,’ everyone knows who you’re talking about.”
That sounds like the kind of name that gets people pointing fingers behind your back.
“As for what led to this situation, I don’t mind, but I wouldn’t want you to boast about it… First, I’d like you to find charm with one girl at a time.”
While gently patting my son’s head, I try to reason with him.
Claudio, like many elf boys, has a beautiful face that could easily be mistaken for a girl’s. His hair is slightly longer than the average boy’s, so if he dressed as a woman, few would probably recognize him.
Anyway, girls are creatures who love beauty. If such a handsome boy grows into a handsome young man, he’ll surely become extremely popular and enjoy a much more privileged youth than I did. But first and foremost, I want you to firmly understand the basics of one-on-one relationships.
I absolutely don’t want my own child to try creating a harem like mine right away and get crushed by it.
“Hmm…”
Claudio frowned slightly after hearing that.
So you really thought a harem was the norm…?
“Rather than girls, I think I’d prefer boys…”
My son made a shocking whisper.
”…Eh?”
“Eh, ah, no, rather than that, you know?”
”…Oh, okay.”
The father is flustered.
N-no, think carefully. Think it through properly.
Hilda is now a model wife and mother, but she’s always been a two-sword fighter. She has plenty of experience with intimate encounters with girls.
Such an open-minded mother wouldn’t deny her son’s preferences either. If Crow is as cute as he seems, finding a boyfriend shouldn’t be too difficult for him. Besides, it’s “somewhat” that way. He’s not uninterested in women at all; his strike zone just happens to be a bit too wide.
After all, I—who keeps these alien females as slaves—can hardly criticize the direction of Crow’s broad love. “P-Papa… um, I don’t think you’re against that kind of thing either. Um. We’re different in approach, but cats get so lustful during the full moon they do all sorts of erotic things with each other…”
That’s right. Homosexuality isn’t abnormal at all. It exists right here among us. It just happened that most examples around me were female, so I didn’t notice.
OK. Calmed down. ”…Thank you.”
Even while shaken, Crowdio offers an angelic smile after acknowledging my minority sexual preference. Ugh… I can understand Hilda’s feelings a little now. Even if I had any reservations about Crowdio’s preferences, I couldn’t say anything cruel to that smile.
“As for using the anal opening, Tettesha taught me quite a bit, and Hilda Mom said it’s fairly common in Tark. I think we’ll find a lover soon.”
”…Tettes…”
A complex emotion rises within me toward the female slaves who have gone to excessive lengths preparing the environment for Crowdio. I shouldn’t complain… ugh.
Among the children, Frena, Neia’s daughter, has recently become the most active. At first, she tried learning swordsmanship from Neia but lacked talent; however, after studying dance with Noru-san and Luquino-san, she showed remarkable improvement. Her athletic ability is truly inherited from Neia herself, and her small body perfectly traces the lively steps of the dark elf dances.
That’s good, though. While she resembles Neia in appearance, she’s mischievous—throwing eggs at others, stealing food, and pranking people before slipping away into alleyways. She’s grown into a troublesome child who disappears in an instant whether it’s Grangi or Tark.
Grangi and Polka would know how to find her, but even there, she vanishes quickly, so I can’t let my guard down. If only the dragons’ hearing could locate her immediately, but unfortunately, after being found out several times this way, she learned to change her voice with a magic spell she independently developed at age eleven—showing off that useless genius by running around the capital city.
In the end, Neia finally snapped and pursued her with full seriousness, relying on her continent-class physical abilities, leaving legends behind in the capital—but let’s leave that aside. If only she didn’t have such a mischievous habit… though maybe that’s just parental bias.
Recently, every time Frena leaves Grangi, Emma becomes extremely vigilant. I feel like even that’s going too far…
“Besides pranks, she’s gotten into the bad habit of choosing dangerous places to escape after learning acrobatic dances. Running across rooftops and along canal edges with a child’s physical abilities… it could lead to irreversible consequences.”
”…Yeah.”
When Polka’s spring water or Breakcore’s regenerative therapy can’t fix something, it means death. Humans can die from falling down just stairs if they land poorly; children are even more vulnerable.
“We have to stop her before it’s too late.”
“But… how can we make her stop? Even Neia has said ‘It’s dangerous, stop doing that’ many times.”
“Maybe we should let her suffer a little pain…”
”…If it can be kept light, that would be fine.”
”…Since we’ve already seriously angered Neia-san once, anything less won’t work. It’s hard to keep it ‘light.’”
Neia getting angry means something serious… and even worse than that…
“Hmm… Maybe Neia isn’t scary anymore because she’s always around. So what about someone else? Like, say, getting scolded by someone truly dangerous, like Laila…”
“Would a child who routinely provokes dragons understand the terror of Lady Laila?”
”…I see. So in the end, we just assume dragons will hold back. What about Tetes, or Cosmo-san, or Lady? Someone with a different kind of danger…”
“That’s still just the fear of the adult world…”
“Hmm…”
It’s hard to find an effective way to scold a child who’s grown too accustomed to formidable opponents.
What should I do…?
The solution came from someone unexpected, or rather, inexplicably so: Elenia.
“Just stop letting Frena bother you with those annoying little tricks, right?”
“Well, sort of…”
“Adults try their hardest and still can’t handle that kind of thing.”
Elenia took on the task with those words.
A few days later, when Frena arrived in Polka, she was caught mid-scheme against the Baron in broad daylight.
“How long are you going to keep doing such lame stuff? You’re eleven already—aren’t you still a kid?”
She looked down at Frena with icy eyes, giving her full attention.
“U-uh… w-what do you mean? Even you’re still…”
“You spent all that time learning proper dances from Mommy Noelle, yet here you are in this backwater village, only capable of childish pranks like a boy. Hmph.”
…So it was a strategy to rub each other’s noses in their pride after all.
Looking back, I realize I used to view “adults” as a monolithic group. Back then, that was how I saw it.
When someone is just an object of teasing, it hardly matters how powerful or prestigious they are; the difference is negligible.
But this isn’t about being “that kind of target.” It’s about crossing a line and addressing the issue from the child’s side.
…As expected, Frena easily fell for Elenia’s provocation.
Perhaps partly because, as half-sisters relatively close in age, they were always conscious of each other.
“Polka is even more rural than Grangi! And you’re acting all grown-up too, but you’re just a dad-obsessed idiot! You’re the bigger kid!”
…Hey, watch your mouth, Elen. Judging by your recent behavior, I can’t really argue with that.
But Elenia remained unfazed.
“Kids’ brains aren’t that advanced yet.”
”…Mmph, it’s annoying… Just because you’re a year or two older…”
“I want both boys and girls to stop getting obsessed with such pointless pranks by the time they’re six or seven. Seriously, how long are you going to keep this up? Are you being spoiled by your mom?”
“My mom is strict!”
Don’t make too much of mothers out of it. Selen’s pretty indulgent herself. At least I’ve never seen her get angry like that.
…It strikes me now, belatedly, that while Polka has an environment where mothers can share responsibilities, Neia is struggling with her teenage daughter. Maybe I should visit Grangi more often.
Even though I occasionally come around, in the end, I have to play both father and mother at the same time.
“Besides… Frena’s able to say things like that because she doesn’t get enough one-on-one time with Dad.”
“W-what…”
“Mom says everyone’s saying it, right? Dad is special… and if you truly understand what that means, you won’t be able to stay a child anymore… ♪” Elenia instantly wore an expression of intoxicating allure and arousal, reacting to the faint presence of children.
Frena looked bewildered at Elenia’s unreadable demeanor.
“N-what are you talking about? But Dad… I don’t even know why he’s so popular…”
“That’s because you only see that kind of dad. Since you don’t understand, you think he’s just a carefree lecherous old man, right?”
Elenia leaned in close to Frena and whispered.
“The real Dad… makes Mom Neia, my older sister Aurora, Mom Diane, even the dragons… everyone fall head over heels. He’s a man who can make even the strongest women crave motherhood. Have you ever really thought about how rare it is for someone like that to exist right beside us…?”
“U-uh…”
”…Heh-heh. Just as I thought, O-KO-SAMA♪”
“D-Dad isn’t supposed to be… that kind of thing! That’s weird!”
“The opposite of ‘weird’ is ‘normal.’ Dad isn’t normal at all. You know that, don’t you?”
“But…”
No, no, Elenia… You’re acting just like Selen right now. In that dangerous, seductive way. Even if it’s only a sister by adoption, you can’t try to drag her down that path!
Just as I stepped in with a sense of urgency, Selen, Apple, and Anzeros—who had been hiding behind the same wall—along with Neia, a mysterious half-elf group, blocked my way.
“Let Elenia handle this from here, okay? ♪”
“I don’t think we’ve actually touched Elenia yet, Mr. Andy… so how come your understanding of her is so deep?”
“As expected of Selen’s daughter… I can’t even articulate it myself, yet she describes Andy’s charm so vividly.”
“My child really is causing trouble… If Mom Neia persuades Elenia-chan as she is, she should calm down a bit.”
Everyone seems captivated by Elenia’s serpentine rhetoric.
“If things continue like this, won’t both Elenia and Frena end up making fatherless mistakes? Won’t it feel like we’re forcing them to realize something they shouldn’t?”
“Mr. Andy is just a weird dad, after all♪”
“There’s nothing we can do about it.”
“I think if we cast a contraception spell, there won’t be any problems.”
“If Frena properly becomes a girl… then maybe even making her a female slave wouldn’t be too bad.”
“Neia, why are you overthinking this?! You absolutely shouldn’t say something like that as a parent! And as a wife, it’s way out of line!?”
“Because I thought the Flash Sword could at least step in as a substitute father… but it turned out completely useless. It was nothing more than a story-replaying machine.”
W-well, I’ll try harder as a father from now on. As a father. …Why can’t everyone stop trying to touch my daughter?