As I confirmed some time ago, I’ve been in a state of preparing for festivals almost year-round. To begin with, there are simply too many communities where I have obligations. Even though Basson is now effectively out of the picture (he’s still friendly enough to visit given his numerous acquaintances, but he no longer belongs to my community), I’m tied to Polka, Grunge, Karlwin, Elf Territory, Renneest, the Cat Colony, Tark in the Capital City, and Seitar in the Port Town. Even if each location hosts only one or two festivals annually, with this many places involved, it amounts to something happening every single month on a simple calculation. Well, the Capital City’s festivals draw such massive crowds that mixing in requires real resolve (it’s manageable alone, but bringing female slaves or children feels too risky given what could go wrong). Besides, I’m more of a backup for the Sylphid Trading Company’s various activities rather than the one organizing things; strictly speaking, I just hide away at the Neumann household on festival days and usually do nothing special. With Lyra and Anzeros handling everything, there’s no need to worry. For festivals in other communities, however, I must participate either as a guest of honor or an organizer, making schedule management quite demanding. Naturally, since my true professions are erotic arts and blacksmithing, those skills remain abysmal, so I rely heavily on the administrative talents of people like Ms. Diane, Kristie, and Ms. Cosmos to keep things running smoothly.
Lately, more children among us have become capable of assisting with festival preparations.
“Materials for Grunge’s Founding Festival next month—will this amount suffice? In the worst case, we’d have to urgently gather them again via the Dragon Legion.”
“It should be enough! Look at these numbers…”
“You can’t touch those figures. Half of it will go toward the Art Festival.”
“The Art Festival… Oh, right! Last year’s one! Are they doing it again this year?”
“If that’s the case, we need surplus stockpiles. If we rely on the Dragons to gather everything, Papa’ll have to go appease the crystals again.”
Hilda’s son Claudio is already showing strong aptitude for numerical management and has begun assisting the maid group with checking material quantities and maintaining ledgers.
While emergencies could be handled through cooperation from Elf Territory, the Dragons, Onyx, or Sylphid, and I haven’t always managed things seriously in the past, it’s certainly better to avoid panicking situations altogether.
“Claudio would want to play during festivals, wouldn’t he?”
“I can’t enjoy anything until worries are eliminated. That’s how my mind works when I notice such discrepancies.”
Claudio swiftly writes new documents with his Engraving Pen, recording inventory inflows and outflows.
Though it’s not actually engraved, he grew fond of the pen after borrowing it earlier and now officially owns it as a gift. While its composition—Breakcore horn and mana-concentrated nib—is identical to what I crafted in my youth, repeated production has refined its design and balance, significantly improving writability.
Still, for mere writing purposes, the materials feel overly extravagant. Perhaps I should craft something more appropriately sized using wood from Elf Territory. Once people realize its value, bandits might easily target it.
“Claudio’s too neurotic. He needs to live more freely, or life will be tough,” Hilda Mom once said.
Meanwhile, Peter, who has grown utterly rough-and-ready and cheerful, brags proudly.
On his end, he continues causing mischief daily, taking advantage of his Half-Dwarf appearance that still looks youthful enough to earn leniency for his pranks.
While it’s not good to grow withdrawn and introverted, nor is excessive naughtiness acceptable… he possesses just the right cunning to avoid reaching the point where I’d need a female slave enforcer to discipline him. In many ways, he’s truly my son.
If he’d stayed in Polka without ever visiting the Capital City, I imagine I too would have grown into such a clever little rascal.
Reflecting on my own youth, I realize that the harsh apprenticeship and military life were essential for developing my current social skills.
“Peter’s too carefree. Maybe we should send him away for some training…”
“T-Training?! Dad, why are you suddenly saying that!”
“I left Polka at ten and trained in the Capital City myself. Back then, I couldn’t use Dragons, so both trips took three weeks each. I couldn’t just give up easily despite my dislike, which taught me patience, teamwork, and other valuable traits…”
“But wouldn’t Half-Dwarfs like me be fair game for bullying in the Capital?! There’s no such thing as ‘training’!”
“That’s not true. Dwarfs are quite respected in the blacksmithing circles, so you might actually be popular there.”
“S-So… maybe? Hehe…”
Though clever at heart but fundamentally simple-minded, his tendency to jump on convenient opportunities is undeniably childlike and adorable.
Still, the Capital City presents challenges. Sending him back to Sreed Workshop isn’t ideal either—the master is over eighty now. Though he visits the Spirit Springs every half-year and remains energetic, it’s not a perfect solution.
The Baron family’s lineage feels like it has already passed to the next generation. By the time I returned, the Junior Barons who were still children have matured into fine young men, and greetings once handled by the Baron are now frequently entrusted to Lord Daniel.
My daughter and I were each married into noble families we met through our studies at the Capital University. When we went to offer congratulatory gifts, they insisted that such presents should be given by the nobles themselves, leading to a heated back-and-forth. Eventually, Irina stepped in and said, “Very well, then, in the name of our White Clan,” and only then were they graciously accepted.
As for young Master Daniel, he has reached marriageable age and must now seek a bride, though it seems this endeavor is proving difficult.
“If I honestly mention during negotiations that there’s a Dragon Palace just under two kilometers from the estate,” he says, “it almost always falls through.”
“Super sorry about that.”
The Viper Palace is, in fact, the genuine Dragon Palace endorsed by the dragons themselves. Apparently, one of the criteria for noble marriage matches is to avoid marrying into families whose residences are too close to a Dragon Palace. Of course, given the Fire Dragon War a century ago, this makes perfect sense; after all, if a dragon’s dwelling is nearby, who knows when your entire estate might be burned to the ground? That’s the general perception.
“I suppose I can’t exactly reassure you that the Dragon Palace isn’t scary…”
“That’s quite difficult.”
”…Yeah. I pushed my luck.”
A Dragon Palace that isn’t scary is as contradictory as a benevolent serial killer—at least in common understanding.
“For these reasons, we’re also considering marriage to ordinary women.”
“Is that allowed?”
“Certainly not forbidden. It used to be more challenging, but now Polka is an autonomous region. Polygamy is perfectly acceptable here.”
“Oh, I see… Since there’s no restriction on having only one wife, perhaps we don’t need to strictly select a woman of high status after all?”
“Moreover, the internal hierarchy within the Trotts holds little authority.”
As Daniel points out, Polka still hasn’t fully shed its status as a vassal state. Furthermore, as an autonomous region with extraterritorial privileges and a significant foreign population, Trott nobles cannot always claim strong social standing. In that case, it wouldn’t be improper for the next leader of this autonomous region to make use of the freedoms granted to them.
“I was hoping to consult with you about something.”
“Yeah?”
I had been wondering why Daniel summoned me, so I started with small talk: “You’re at an age where you could find a wife soon; if you don’t act quickly, you’ll end up like Lanz.” But it seems we’ve already moved straight to the main topic.
“Do you know any half-elf women who seem suitable?”
“You’ve specified ‘half-elf’ now, have you?”
“With pure-blooded elves, I’m slightly concerned about whether my bloodline can be preserved; having some human ancestry would be better, so…”
…Logically sound, yet feels like a conversation from another era. Half-elves, once treated as outcasts—accepted by no one and often used merely as outlets for fleeting desires—are now being sought after by nobility?
“But half-elves are often labeled ‘illegitimate children’ even by their own parents, right? Wouldn’t explaining that away during marriage negotiations be a hassle?”
“If you’re willing to put in the effort, anything can be arranged.”
Daniel smiled mischievously, stroking his small mustache, which he’d grown as a nod to his baronial status.
Nobles are terrifying.
“To be honest, people raised here in Polka often don’t seem particularly attractive compared to humans from other lands. Elves are simply too beautiful.”
“I get that.”
I myself am cursed with an obsession for apples thanks to Apple.
Finding a woman of that caliber in the capital or Basson is difficult. Above all, compared to the clean and healthily beautiful women of Polka, the refined ladies of the capital smell too much of cosmetics and feel harsh.
Moreover, half-elves tend to have larger breasts for some reason, which is one of the few unsatisfactory points about elves.
“I see… but you really did come to me with something like that.”
”?” “I was told by my father that if it concerns elves or half-elves, I should speak with Mr. Smayson without fail…”
“No, because we’re talking about making her my wife! It’s unpleasant to have a woman handed over as if she were some kind of errand girl… And yes, I admit it myself, but when I approach women and touch them, I end up dragging them into bed, don’t you think?”
“Well…”
”…No, there’s no point in saying that. Yeah.”
So who should I ask to introduce a half-elf woman? Preferably a virgin?
Of course, the pure-blooded elves who have continuously rejected us aren’t an option, and the half-elves themselves don’t particularly have strong horizontal connections either.
Furthermore, those who could speak strongly on their behalf are even fewer. Unless one holds a position of considerable influence, there’s no way to bring up marriage negotiations that can shape someone’s life.
“Anyway, I’ll try my best. It might take some time before we find anyone. But the barony has been very helpful to me as well.”
“Thank you.”
Daniel bowed politely and thanked me, leaving me feeling a bit strange.
I’m just a subject of the baron who happens to be on friendly terms with him; originally, I should have been much more humble. It’s a bit late for that now.
In any case.
“I want to find a future Baroness in Grange and the hidden village.”
“Does Grange have virgins?”
Selen deadpanned, cutting me off.
…I looked helplessly at Nae.
Along with Selen, Nae smiled awkwardly while breastfeeding our newborn second daughter.
“Most girls of marriageable age in Grange are either already making lovers or you’ve made your move on them.”
”…N-no, I didn’t intend for everyone to be prepared to have their penises thrust into them, and yes, there are certainly a few who have ended up like that…”
“If there were more than fifteen, I’d say it’s normal. Or rather, since being with Mr. Smayson means you won’t be discarded, girls without very strong wills tend to end up that way… Also, half-elves tend to get deeply hooked once their feelings shift.”
”…There were more than fifteen?”
“That’s the number I’m aware of; there could be others. I didn’t count those two or three who are neither clearly white nor black.”
“Andy seems to make harems wherever he goes.”
“U-uh…”
Did I really go that far? Well, there were certainly a few girls who kept trying to sneak into my bed every time I stayed there… Hmm, let’s see: two groups of three and one group of four, plus some singles… Huh? There are quite a few.
”…I’ve been too carried away by casual sex.”
“It’s not like it’s bad, right? Holding back is painful too.”
“No! I’m not some tragic monster who gets sick if I don’t have sex!”
“On the contrary, I’d prefer you to be that kind of monster when it comes to sex. Or rather, I want your top priority for idle time to be ‘Who will I sleep with today?’.”
“That feels wrong as a human being.”
“There are plenty of women who can handle being cut up, so there’s no time for anything else. Instead of doing weird reckless things like that, I’d prefer you just get buried in girls and ejaculate as usual! Think about how miraculous it is to be alive after everything that’s happened!”
“You keep applying memories from over ten years ago to me!? Even at forty-something, I can’t pull off the recklessness of that period!”
“My Lord Bonaparte and that bald fellow, Renfangas—look at them! They’ve been having an easy time making a huge impact even after becoming old men. People like that can do it no matter their age.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m the type who acts without regard for my years.”
“There’s absolutely no evidence for that. I believe they’ll just spring into action whenever I turn my back. So, please spend your free time being intimate. While you’re at it, the Dragon ladies will handle most of the messy work.”
“I was thinking lately that nothing seemed to be happening wherever I went… until now, when you started giving these orders…?”
“Of course there’s supposed to be something!” Well, as a matter of preparation. After all, we’re mobilizing a massive force; if things go wrong, panic won’t cut it.
“Andy, please just keep being intimate whenever you have free time. Go ahead and make babies—that’s the best way for everyone to be happy.”
“It’s a line every man wants to hear at least once in his life, but when it actually comes true… it gets complicated…”
“I’ve had plenty of moments where my blood ran cold! There are hundreds of daughters who want children, so I really don’t have time to sleep!”
“Even now, if there’s no Spirit Spring, we’re staring down a death by starvation.”
“There’s the Spirit Spring, so we’re fine♪”
Also, with this method, if a suitable bride for young Daniel is found, there’s a very high risk of accidental firing—in the sexual sense.
“Papa♪ Soon I want to have a child too… We practice parent-child butt-stacking all the time; wouldn’t you like to try comparing who can lick their own baby’s milk better soon?”
“Ele, do you sometimes play properly outside? Has your vocabulary been contaminated by Kay-chan lately? By that perverted maid group, I mean.”
“A father who wants to take out a perverted, lustful daughter like this is only Andy. Oh wait—did you mean in a disciplinary sense? Someone made to wear something more embarrassing than being naked outside?”
“Hey, Selen, your daughter’s brain is already flooded with semen. This isn’t good, is it?”
“She’s my daughter, after all♪ By the way, even though I haven’t done it recently, I’m okay with you doing various things to me in a disciplinary sense too♪ Like taking a full-naked collar walk alongside Ele-chan…♪”
“I think making a collar for me should come first.” No matter how much of a naked paradise Viper Palace is, this perverted mother-daughter duo keeps spouting twisted remarks. Even Neia is slightly taken aback. Well, if they asked her to do it, she’d probably be willing to try.
After pondering for a while, I suddenly realized something and asked Floria, Naris’s daughter: “Daniel and you—will you get married when you grow up?” She’s a half-elf, so her mind isn’t as twisted as Viper’s. She looks incredibly cute and has a cheerful personality. Though she’s still young, in another ten years… For now, I think an engagement would be fine. Isn’t that a nice idea? But then—
“Huh? At our house, we’re supposed to marry Papa, right…?”
“What do you mean by ‘at our house’…?”
“All the older sisters said, ‘At our house, it’s a rule like that.’”
“Wait, isn’t that weird no matter what? Papa is already married to Mama!”
“When I asked Mama, she said something strange like, ‘It’s okay, but no.’”
”…I think there was an incredibly long pause before she gave that answer.”
Naris’s troubled expression seemed to warp visibly.
A few days later, when I went to see young Daniel again, Celesta had already been engaged in a lightning marriage with a fox beast-girl who had come for a bath treatment. “Because she was so cute…” Is that really okay for you?