As I confirmed the other day, I’m basically in a state of perpetual festival preparation year-round. The root of the problem is simply that we have so many ties to different lands. Basson is likely beyond our concern now (though with my large circle of friends, I do still drop by occasionally, even if it’s no longer my community). Then there are Polka, Grandje, Carlwin, the Elven Lands, Rhenest, the Cat Colony, the Royal Capital, Talku, and the port city of Cital. Even if a single location hosts only one or two festivals a year, mathematically speaking, with this many places involved, something is happening every month. Admittedly, the festivals in the Royal Capital are too crowded to mingle comfortably without some nerve (it’s one thing for me alone, but bringing female slaves and children risks disaster), and since it’s more about Silphid Trading backing up their various events than me actually doing anything, strictly speaking, I just crash at the Neumann house on the day and usually do nothing in particular. Besides, if Lyra and Anzeros team up, there’s nothing to worry about. However, for festivals in the other communities, I have to get involved as a guest of honor or in operations, which makes scheduling a nightmare. Of course, my main jobs are sex and blacksmithing, so my management skills remain woefully inadequate. I only manage to pull it off by heavily relying on administrative types like Diane, Kristi, and Cosmos.
Lately, more of the children have reached an age where they can help out with festival preparations.
“The materials we plan to use for Grandje’s Founding Festival next month—are we sure that’ll be enough? In the worst case, we’d end up having the Dragon Legion do an emergency requisition again.”
“It’ll be fine, won’t it? Look at these numbers…”
“You can’t touch those. Half of it is earmarked for the Art Festival.”
“The Art Festival… Oh, right! Last year’s one! We’re doing that again this year?”
“Considering that, we don’t have any surplus to fall back on. If we have to collect via Dragon power, I’ll have to go smooth things over with Kristal again.”
Hilda’s son, Claudio, is already showing a strong aptitude for managing numbers, helping the maid corps with inventory checks and bookkeeping.
In an emergency, we could probably pull some strings through the Elven Lands, the Dragons, Onyx, or Silphid’s cooperation, so I haven’t been too strict about administration in the past. But of course, it’s always better not to be in a position where you have to panic.
“Don’t you want to play during festivals, Clau?”
“I can’t enjoy anything until I stop worrying. When I spot inconsistencies like this, it becomes unavoidable.”
Claudio uses a runic pen to swiftly draft new documents, recording the expected inventory in-and-outs.
It’s not actually used for inscribing runes, but after I lent him one previously, he took to it so much that I officially gifted it to him recently. The composition—pen tip made from Breakcore horn and condensed magic—was the same as ones I made when I was younger, but having made a few over time, I’ve refined the design and balance of weight, improving the writing experience considerably.
However, the materials are still overly extravagant for just note-taking. I’m thinking of making him a more appropriate one using wood from the Elven Lands. If people realize its value, it could get stolen in a robbery.
“Clau is way too nervous about details. You gotta live a bit more loosely. Mama Hilda says the same thing.”
And Peter, who has grown up quite rough and hearty, boasts smugly.
On his end of things, he causes all sorts of mischief, but thanks to being a Half-Dwarf with a still-young appearance, he gets away with it and even takes advantage of that leniency daily.
While it’s not good for him to become withdrawn and introverted, he’s also too mischievous… yet he possesses the cunning to never quite cross the line into behavior that would warrant corporal punishment from the warrior female slaves. In a way, he’s very much my son.
If I hadn’t left Polka and been raised in the Royal Capital instead, I imagine I would have grown up as an equally clever rascal myself.
Looking back on my youth, I realize that strict apprenticeships and military life were essential for developing the social skills I have now.
“Peter is actually too careless, you know. Maybe I should send him somewhere for some discipline…”
“D-Discipline?! Why are you suddenly bringing that up, Dad?!”
“I left Polka at ten to train in the Royal Capital myself. Back then we couldn’t use Dragons, so it took three weeks each way by land. You couldn’t just easily go home even if you hated it, so I learned patience, cooperation, and all sorts of things…”
“But half-breeds like me are pariahs in the Royal Capital! No discipline for me!”
“It’s not like that. Dwarves are respected quite a bit in blacksmithing circles, so maybe you’ll be popular in the capital too.”
“Y-Yeah? Maybe…” He chuckles nervously.
He’s cunning but has a simple core; jumping at favorable stories makes him quite charmingly childish, I suppose.
But the Royal Capital… having to entrust him to Thread Workshop again… The master is over eighty now. Though he comes for a spirit spring bath every six months and remains vibrant…
There’s a sense that the Baron family is transitioning to the next generation. When I returned, the junior barons were still just children, but they’ve since become proper young men, and Daniel-kun often handles the greetings the Baron used to take care of. The daughters each married into other noble houses they met through the Royal Capital University. When we brought congratulatory gifts, there was a back-and-forth argument because he insisted that such expenses were traditionally borne by the noble side. In the end, Irina mediated, saying “As per the name of our White Clan,” and they finally accepted them. Since Daniel-kun is of marriageable age, he needs to find a bride, but apparently it’s been difficult. “If I honestly mention in marriage proposals that ‘there’s a Dragon Palace within two kilometers of the mansion,’ they almost always turn it down.” “I’m so sorry.”
Vapor Palace is a bona fide dragon palace, fully endorsed by the dragons themselves.
There’s also a criterion among nobles when choosing sons-in-law: “Don’t marry into a house that’s near a Dragon Palace.”
Given what happened during the Fire Dragon War a century ago, it’s natural to say so. But generally speaking, if you live near a dragon’s lair, you never know when you’re going to get roasted whole. That’s the prevailing view.
“I’d like to tell them not to worry because this isn’t a scary Dragon Palace, but I suppose I can’t exactly say that…”
“That would be a bit difficult.”
“…Yeah. That was a stretch.”
A non-scary Dragon Palace is as contradictory as a gentle serial killer. At least in the general view of things.
“So, with that in mind, we’re also considering marriage to a commoner woman.”
“Is that even allowed?”
“It’s not impossible. It was difficult back in the day, but now Polca is an autonomous district. So bigamy isn’t an issue either.”
“Oh, right… so there’s no restriction on having just one wife, meaning we don’t have to strictly select a woman of high status?”
“Plus, the internal hierarchy within Trot doesn’t hold much authority anyway.”
As Daniel-kun says, Trot has not yet shaken off its status as a vassal state.
Moreover, since it’s an autonomous district with extraterritorial status and a population that includes many foreigners, the Trot nobility isn’t necessarily powerful in terms of social standing.
Therefore, for the next leader of such a district to fully utilize the freedoms granted to them seems less like a bad deed and more like taking advantage of the situation.
“That brings us to my consultation with you.”
“Yeah?”
I’d been wondering why Daniel-kun had summoned me, so I’d started with small talk like, “Hey, you’re at an age where you should find a wife too. If you don’t hurry up, you’ll end up like Lanz,” but it seems I’ve stumbled straight into the main point.
“Do you know any half-elves who look good?”
“You specified half-elf, huh?”
“Yes… I have some lingering doubts about whether a pureblood would properly carry on my lineage, so having human blood in the mix is preferable.”
…Strictly speaking, it makes sense, but it feels like another world entirely.
For half-elves to be sought after by nobles, when they were treated as illegitimate children by their own parents and at best used as outlets for one-night lusts? It’s a long way from that……
“But half-elves are often treated like ‘illegitimate children’ even by their parents, right? At the wedding, it’ll probably be a hassle to explain things on that side?”
“We can deal with anything if we set our minds to it.”
Daniel-kun, despite his youth, stroked the tiny mustache he’d grown imitating barons and flashed a grin.
Nobles are scary.
“To be honest, growing up in Polca makes it so I rarely find humans from other lands attractive. Elves are just too beautiful.”
“I get that.”
I was cursed with a gluttony for food by Apple myself. It’s hard to find women at that level in the Capital or Basson. Besides, compared to the clean, healthy beauty of Polca’s women, the fashionable ladies in the Capital smell too much of makeup and it’s intense.
Plus, half-elves often have larger busts, for some reason, fixing one of the few lacking points of elves.
“I see. …Though it’s interesting you’d come to me with something like that.”
“? Father said if it’s about elves or half-elves, taking it up to Mr. Smithson is the safest bet…”
“No, since it’s a matter of someone I want as a wife, I don’t like the idea of being handed off a lady-in-waiting or something… …It might be inappropriate to say this about myself, but I have an image where if I get close to a woman, touch her, she ends up dragged to bed, right?”
“That’s, well…”
“…No, it’s pointless saying things like that. Yeah.”
Who else could you say, “Introduce me to a half-elf woman. Preferably a virgin,” to?
Of course, not the pureblood elves who have continued their exclusion, but the half-elves themselves don’t exactly have strong horizontal connections either.
Moreover, if we’re talking about someone who can exert strong influence over them, the options narrow down further. Unless you hold a relatively powerful position, you can’t even bring up a marriage proposal that would alter their life course.
“Anyway, I’ll give it a shot. It might not be that easy to find someone, though. I’ve also been helped out quite a bit by the baron’s house.” “Thank you.” Being thanked so politely by Daniel-kun made me feel a little odd. I’m just a subject who happens to be on friendly terms with the baron, so I really should be more humble about it. It’s a little late for that now, though.
And so.
“I’d like you to search Grandi and the Hidden Village for our next lady of the house.”
“Are there actually virgins in Grandi?”
Selen deadpanned at me with zero emotion.
…I looked to Neia, feeling trapped.
Neia laughed awkwardly, nursing her newborn daughter while looking just as bewildered as Selen.
“Most of the girls old enough to get busy are already having boyfriends in Grandi, or they’re under your thumb, aren’t they?”
”…I, um, I don’t go around with the intention of sticking my cock into everyone, and while a few have ended up that way…”
“If there are more than fifteen, people would usually say that. Besides, the reputation is already set that if you sleep with Mr. Smyson, you won’t get dumped, so unless they have incredibly strong willpower, they end up doing it… Plus, half-elves tend to get increasingly hooked once their feelings start shifting.”
”…Were there really more than fifteen…”
“That’s just the number I’m keeping track of, so there might be others. I haven’t counted the two or three who fall into a gray area.”
“Mr. Andy always ends up turning any place into a harem, doesn’t he?”
“U-Uuugh”
Did I really touch that many? Well, sure, there were a few girls who’d sneak in for sex every time I stayed at their place… Let’s see, two groups of three, one group of four, and then some individuals… Hm? That’s actually quite a lot, isn’t it?
”…I screwed up. I let myself get carried away with the sex too much.”
“Is that not okay? It must be painful to hold it in, right?”
“No! I’m not one of those sadistic monsters who breaks down physically if he doesn’t have sex!”
“No, rather, regarding sex, I’d prefer you were that kind of monster. Besides, please make ‘Who do I screw today?’ your top priority when you have nothing to do.”
“That feels wrong on a human level.”
“You can find women to butt-in with anytime, so there’s no time for anything else! I’d rather you just got buried in girls and ejaculated like usual than going around doing weird rough deeds! Considering everything that’s happened so far, isn’t it a miracle you’re even alive!”
“Stop applying your naughty memories from ten-plus years ago to me all the time! You can’t expect me to pull those stunts now that I’m in my forties!”
“Lord Bonaparte and that bald guy from Renfanga are still going strong after becoming old grandpas, aren’t they? People who do it keep doing it no matter their age.”
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t categorize me as one of those guys doing it despite my advanced age.”
“There’s no evidence for that. I think that the moment you look away, something happens. So please use your free time to have sex. During that time, the dragons will usually handle most of the rough deeds.”
“I thought things were suspiciously quiet wherever we go lately… Were you giving those orders…?”
“See, aren’t you definitely expecting something to happen!”
Well, in terms of mental preparation. I mean, we’re moving a major force around, so if anything happens, we can’t afford to be scrambling in panic.
“Mr. Andy, whenever you have free time, please just have sex. Have kids. That’s what makes everyone the happiest.”
“If any man could wish to hear that line once in his life… but actually hearing it is complicated…”
“I’ve had enough moments where my soul leaves my body! There are hundreds of girls who want children, so honestly, I don’t even have time to sleep!”
“Now that we’re at this point, if it weren’t for the Sacred Spring, I’d be dead from a burst belly, right?”
“It’s fine because there is a Sacred Spring♪”
Also, with that method, even if a candidate for Daniel-kun’s wife were found, the risk of accidental ejaculation (in a sexual sense) would be very high.
“Papa♪ I’m starting to want a baby soon… We’ve been doing parent-child butt comparisons and stuff, but do you want to try tasting each other’s breast milk?”
“Ele. Do you properly go outside and play sometimes? Has your vocabulary not been contaminated by Kei-chan lately? By that perversely deviant maid group, I mean.”
“Papa Andy is about the only one who would want to take a perverted, lewd girl like me outside. Oh, do you mean ‘outside’ in a sadistic sense? Making someone wear clothes more embarrassing than being naked?”
“Hey, Selen, your daughter’s brain is pretty flooded with cum right now. Doesn’t that worry you a bit?” “She’s my daughter, after all♪ By the way, I haven’t been doing it recently, but feel free to treat me to various kink things if you like♪ Walking around in our underwear on leashes side-by-side with Elenia…♪” “I think you need to make me a leash first, though.” Despite being at the Vaper Palace, a paradise of nudity, this depraved mother-daughter pair wouldn’t stop making unhinged remarks. Neia was understandably a little put off. Well, I mean, if she were told to do it, she probably would have gone for it.
After thinking about it for a while, I suddenly decided to ask Naris’s daughter, Florya, “Do you plan to marry Mr. Daniel when you grow up?”
She was a Half-Elf and not stupid, even by Vaper standards. She looked super cute and had a cheerful personality too. She was still young, but in another ten years or so… it seemed like an engagement would be a good format for now.
Wasn’t that a nice idea?
I thought so.
“Eh? But I’m supposed to marry Papa…”
“What do you mean ‘supposed to’…?”
“Everyone my sisters have, they all said ‘that’s just how we do things in our family.’”
“No, wait, don’t you think that’s weird? Papa is married to Mama.”
“When I asked Mama, she gave a weird answer: ‘It’s fine, but it isn’t.’”
”…I feel like there was an extremely long pause before she said that.”
I could almost see Naris’s face contorting in distress.
Later on, when I went to see Daniel again, he had entered into a flash engagement with the fox beastwoman girl who had come for the hot springs at Celesta’s place. “She was cute…” Is it really that simple for you?